Party's with a DW etiquette

Mango6112 · September 3, 2009

So we're basically eloping but told everyone what we are doing. Neither of us have been big into the vow stuff in front of other people. Also, both love the idea of getting married on the beach barefoot, so we're getting married in May in St. Lucia. Also, I hate showers baby/bridal- I'm just not into them so when my mother offered to do a shower or "something". We told how about and engagement party. She threw some ideas around and settled on a catered cocktail party for family and a few friends in the backyard of my parents house. Cool with both of us. Then my mom decided to change it to 1 in the afternoon "because it will be dark in septemeber" I decided to let her fly with it for like 2 days then after thinking about it was like no of our friends with kids will be able to go and who wants to take up all of their day, people have lives. So I told my mother if she wouldn't do it at like 4-5pm don't bother, it's not worth it, it will be less stressful on all of us. So part of me feels like I don't get to do the "wedding party/reception stuff" because people aren't being invited to the ceremony, based on the etiquette stuff I 've read online. What is everyone doing about traditional before/after wedding stuff?

lnf_munchkin · October 9, 2009

I'm not one that likes to be the center of attention either so I'm trying to keep everything INformal. It's easy to get caught up what others want and want you want, it's really hard to find the right balance.

missbliss85 · November 19, 2009

My FI and I also are not big on having a lavish wedding ceremony, which is why we chose to go to Mexico and only invite our immediate family, and two friends. We did get a fair amount of flack from my FI's extended family (mostly aunts/uncles) who all thought that they ought to be able to go to Mexico if they could afford since. We felt it was best just to have our families see us wed, which is why we have such a small group joining us.

We are planning on having an AHR so that our friends and family can celebrate and still feel like part of our wedding, even though they weren't invited to the wedding itself. The only "traditional" aspects to our reception back home will be dinner, dancing (we will do a first dance since our grandparents would want to see that). I don't plan on cutting a cake, having "formal speeches", tossing bouquets or garters, etc. It's basically just a nice dinner, with a slideshow of our wedding, and lots of dancing and drinking!

As much as I'm not into traditional wedding notions, I think offering people an opportunity to celebrate your marriage, whether by holding a formal party or a more informal get-together is a good idea, since friends and family want to feel like a part of a major chapter in your life.

*Linds* · November 19, 2009

Since we are having a small ceremony in Mexico (10-20 people) we will be having a traditional reception at home at a local country club.

It is not for everyone, you should do what you feel like will make you look back on your wedding with the fondest possible memories! Traditions are changing, so nothing is set in stone these days..or so it seems

Just my 2 cents!