How did you choose your bridesmaids??

[bholthof]

Hi ladies.. I'm having a bit of a dilemma!

 

We are having a small DW. Right now, we have us and a best man and maid of honour. FI would also like to have his brother in the wedding party, as a groomsman (he would be best man but he's only 15 so he can't sign the paperwork).

 

Right now, FI has my brother as his best man, and wants his brother to be a groomsman.

 

I have my sister as my MOH, but would have to pick one of my close friends to be in the wedding party as a bridesmaid.

 

My question is how did you choose They are all my close friends, but I don't want to pick one and have the others get thier feelings hurt or get insulted. I've already had a couple of them say stuff like "Oh, I thought you were goingn to ask me to be in the wedding pary" or something similar. Fortunately, I've been able to evade those statements by saying that we are each only having 1 attendant. But I am eventually going to have to pick someone, and honestly there isn't a single one that stands out as THE ONE.

 

Its not that I don't want them to be in the wedding party, I just don't want to have to pick between them... pretty soon it will be eeny, meeny, miney, mo or picking a name out of a hat!

 

I was thinking it might be nice and symmetrical to ask one of FI sisters - only problem is, the one I like is the one who can afford the wedding least, and probably isn't going to go anyway.

 

Sigh. How do you choose between friends

[boscobel]

If it isn't clear to you, then maybe you don't need anyone else in your wedding. I only had the people in my wedding that I coldn't imagine NOT having in it. There was no concerns whether the numbers matched, b/c who really cares about that these days anymore. Ask who you want, or don't ask anyone else! You don't need an equal number on each side...

[lp579]

Iagree with Carly, only have who you absolutly want to have! The numbers don't have to be balanced! We didn't have anyone stand up with us, but had one of our closest friends each sign the marriage certificate for us. It was about us, not our attendents. Good luck with your decision!

[DanielleNDerek]

I dont know where your getting married but my bridal party didnt sign our wedding certificate as witnesses, we had my bros who werent in the bridal party do it. So maybe your fi (if he hasnt asked your bro yet to be his bm) can have his bro as his bm and than you can have your bro be one of your witnesses? Just a thought.

[bholthof]

We're probably getting married in Cuba, but we'll do the legal ceremony here first. We will still sign the marriage certificate in Cuba, though (one of the perks of your father also being your minister, lol) and the signatures have to match on both documents.

 

Its kind of funny, I know it doesn't all have to match with the number of people, but that is one of the things that I do want to have, lol!

[nsbride2010]

We are trying to match up how may groomsmen/bridesmaids we have, but its ot a make or break point!

I don't have any brothers or sisters, so my two female cousins are like my sisters... so one of them (the older) is my MOH and the other is a bridesmaid... I have two friends as bridesmaid and FI's little sister as a bridesmaid as well (huge wedding party, I know!)

[karenk77]

so just have a moh & best man thats what we're doing its the easiest..obviously whoever is there is the closest to you so its understood..and for the girls that would have been bridesmaid if i was having a bridal party i just said we arent doing that and makes life easier on everyone they dont have to wear what they dont want and i dont have to drive myself nuts deciding.

traditional has become the untraditional..do what makes you happiest and causes you the least amount of stress...god knows there will be enough of that anyway

[Jo 2010]

I know its a little untraditional - but what if you had your mum?

 

Then at least eveyone is family - and you can explain to your friends that you couldn't pick them and you wanted to do something special for your mum... They can't get made at you choosing your own mother over them...?

 

I dont know how you would feel about it - but its best to consider the outside-the-box options too in a dilemma like this!

 

luck!! xx

[slapsappyhappy]

I have a huge wedding party too! I have my sis, 2 sis in laws, 3 cousins, and 4 friends. I could not find a way to eliminate any of them since they are all very important to me, so just put them all in. Who cares what other people think! I don't even know who my FI is having but we will make it work. You can make it work and not have to be put in that awful position of leaving someone out. In the end it is your day and one more bouquet and person in a dress will not matter if they mean that much to you!

[sarah310]

My Fiance is having his "3" best friends from elementary school. but I couldn't pick just 3. I really couldn't decide, and felt guilty making my poor graduate student friends spend money to come to my wedding and then on a dress and all the bridesmaids activities... so I chose to make my side all "family" -- my sister, fiance's sister, and my brother's fiance. took me 9 months to decide though! it's a tough decision, I just couldn't do it.