Very Irritating!!

[MsShelley]

So, my FH just calls me to say that his 2 sisters say that they can't go to our wedding. His dad is probably already not going (for reasons I won't get inot at this point) So, his sisters "can't afford it" One reason I picked Costa Rica is because it is super affordable for everyone! Airfare, hotel (AI) is about $1,ooo for 2 people for 3 days. They can spend money on new vehicles, anything they want, but not to see their brother get married. Are we asking too much here? Should I chalk it up to they really can't afford it, or they just don't really want to go... I am so irritated right now with them! Should I feel slefish for having a DW? Sorry had to vent!

[michelle08]

Shelly,

 

I understand where you are coming from. It's hard to expect people to spend so much money when you don't know their finances, but I am the same way...I enjoy going on vacation and I use things like this as an excuse to get away. I don't think that $1,000 is alot of money at all, especially if they spend money on other stuff. Friends are one thing..but family should be there! I look at it as if you are giving these people a year or so notice, then they should be able to save that money to go. This is an important day for their brother and you would think they would want to be there. I guess some people's priorities aren't the same. I could understand if they weren't buying new cars and other material things...but it just seems to me that it's an excuse. Money is the best cop out.

 

Can anyone in the family help pay for them to go??

[RaydensMama]

Dont feel selfish! Honestly this is the reason we are not having a DW. Robins parents refused to go and thought it was horrible that we were asking people to spend money to go away, meanwhile they waste money on random crap all the time. I dont know what kinda financial situation your FSIL's are in, but maybe they really cant afford it. Could your FI talk to them and see if thats the real reason, or if its something else?

Just remember, the most important people will be there, you and your FI!

[tvt]

This is always a sticky situation. I'm with you in that I think that if given a years notice people should be able to plan for it accordingly. However, that may not always be the case, just as the reason they are not coming may not be due to money. We have some people who are pretty against this whole DW in the first place that seem to use money as an excuse.... it sucks, but really what can you do?

[MsShelley]

I understand the older sister, she has 4 kids, but last week she was just going to come with her husband. The younger sister is really the one who her and her husband spend money like it's water, but they can't afford it!! I know it hurts my FH's feelings, and I just don't know what to do at this point!

[lambert13]

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachbride Should I feel slefish for having a DW?

Yes you should! But in a good way. Your wedding day is one of the few days of your life that you should be selfish about and make it into whatever you want. It seems that everyone else but the bride and groom is always trying to dictate what goes on when the focus should be on the couple getting married.

[BRIDEZILLA]

I have to vent here….

 

My FI’s entire family is going (some of which are flying from across the country). They are VERY excited (in fact, they booked all of their travel within a week of us selecting a date!). Almost ALL of the friends that we invited are going. When we see our friends or his family all they want to talk about is their upcoming vacation in Cabo! Everyone is supper excited.

 

Everyone except my family. When I announced my DW choice (over a year ago) my family was not excited at all. However, they said that they would go. Then during the holidays, they all were treating me very differently. When I asked what was going on, my fav aunt came clean…..everyone is upset with me because I am having a DW and they do not what to spend the money. So, I have only one family member that is definitely going….my cousin who is the best man.

 

My dad and sister (maid of honor) are almost definite pending money situations. I think I will have to pay for my sister – which is fine because she is in college, so I totally understand. BUT I was hoping that my dad would help out since he is not helping with the wedding at all. He feels that having to pay for a hotel room and airfare for himself is my present 

 

Anyway, I totally understand if my family does not want to pay the $500 pp to go to my wedding. BUT I do not understand why they think that I am a BIG B@&CH for having the wedding that I want. I dread every family get together because they are totally treating me badly!

 

Sorry….just had to vent.

 

It is good to hear that I am not alone!

[MsShelley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lambert13 Yes you should! But in a good way. Your wedding day is one of the few days of your life that you should be selfish about and make it into whatever you want. It seems that everyone else but the bride and groom is always trying to dictate what goes on when the focus should be on the couple getting married.

thank you! that is what I really needed to hear!! It just makes me sad for him...

[MsShelley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRIDEZILLA I have to vent here…. My FI’s entire family is going (some of which are flying from across the country). They are VERY excited (in fact, they booked all of their travel within a week of us selecting a date!). Almost ALL of the friends that we invited are going. When we see our friends or his family all they want to talk about is their upcoming vacation in Cabo! Everyone is supper excited. Everyone except my family. When I announced my DW choice (over a year ago) my family was not excited at all. However, they said that they would go. Then during the holidays, they all were treating me very differently. When I asked what was going on, my fav aunt came clean…..everyone is upset with me because I am having a DW and they do not what to spend the money. So, I have only one family member that is definitely going….my cousin who is the best man. My dad and sister (maid of honor) are almost definite pending money situations. I think I will have to pay for my sister – which is fine because she is in college, so I totally understand. BUT I was hoping that my dad would help out since he is not helping with the wedding at all. He feels that having to pay for a hotel room and airfare for himself is my present  Anyway, I totally understand if my family does not want to pay the $500 pp to go to my wedding. BUT I do not understand why they think that I am a BIG B@&CH for having the wedding that I want. I dread every family get together because they are totally treating me badly! Sorry….just had to vent. It is good to hear that I am not alone!

that's what I was just thinking!! I am so glad I am not the only one!!

[BRIDEZILLA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachbride that's what I was just thinking!! I am so glad I am not the only one!!

This is more than just a planning forum, it is an DW Bride support group!

I feel better already! It is amazing getting this stuff off my chest. Why do wedding bring out the best AND the worst in people?

It will all work out somehow....