Update - cousin having DW same year, and sister wants to be married 3 DAYS after me

[Geralyn]

OMG that really sucks about your cousin but the thing with your sister is totally ridiculous Why would she even think to do that?? She is probably feeling jealous that her younger sister is getting married...i really hope she doesn't go through with that date...big hugs to you

[McToasty]

When i first read this thread, i kind of understood where your cousin was coming from. it *is* unfair of her to do that, but in the end, she's going to be a bride too and i can see how waiting an extra year to be married to the love of your life seems too far away. plus, as other girls said, maybe she doesn't even expect that many people to make it to theirs.

 

But your SISTER! ohmigooooooooooood! i don't think they would even do that in a MOVIE b/c it's so unbelievable. how was your relationship with her before she dropped the bomb on you? when she said the "don't tell mom cuz i'm not sure" thing, it sounded like she just wanted to really annoy you and f*k up your mood, but knew that she wouldn't go thru with it b/c everyone would be so pissed. B/c honestly, it would not look good on her AT ALL. and it doesn't make any sense - for her, for you, for her guests. Wouldn't she want some time to bask in her own wedding rather than rush back from yours, then have a superspeed wedding right after? Anticipation is a big part, and for her to get married days after yours, a DW, who's gonna be paying attention? dumbdumbdumbdumbdumb. good thing you have a supportive family. i have a feeling she's gonna have to change her date, whether she likes it or not.

 

*hugs*

[mich999]

When I responded earlier, I tried to give you another perspective on your cousin. But what your sister just did - beyond shocking. Good for you going to your mom first. What's so frustrating is that she's going to end up change her date, but she made you go through this first and how can you forget that and how thoughtless and unbelievable it was to do that to you. Good luck! Given that you parents (and anyone with half a brain) will be on your side, and that she is your sister, I would try and take the high road and pretend that she just had a major brain cramp and forgot you'd be on your honeymoon. Of course, if she doesn't give up this idea right away, then all bets are off.

[Lady_Di]

yeah dude, it's just stupid that she "all of sudden" decide she wants to get married 3 days after you...ugh, that's taking the sibling rivalry to extreme!

 

she just wants to steal your thunder! you should talk to her and tell her that it will upset you if she goes through with it...

 

good thing, your parents are on your side so i'm sure she will have to change her date!

 

sometimes family just want to drive you crazy...

[islandbride317]

Thanks for being just as ticked at my idiot sister as I am!

 

WARNING - it's sort of long, but I wanted to submit the following message straight from my sister it in it's entirety

 

Here's an exact quote of her feelings on the matter, after I flipped out on her yesterday afternoon on the phone when she called to give me the news (And can you even BELIEVE that she wrote the following email to me today?)

 

"ok-As far as my NEW plan I will not speak to you about that right now. I can not believe the way you spoke to me yesterday. I am not going to allow you to think that YOU are something special and that no one else in the world should dare get married in the same year as YOU. How dare you think that Rachel did anything wrong for picking 4 months after you. She has the right to do her thing when she wants to do her thing and that has nothing to do with you. You are afraid that people are going to "steal your thunder." I think maybe that you need to worry about your self instead of everyone else and what they are doing. You do not have the right to tell anyone how to live their lives or what to do with them. You are so selfish and don't even realize it. Don't worry I am not going to pick your MONTH but you have no say so in that anyway. We have discussed this for a while and he is the one that really wants to finally do this. We are looking at homes and are trying to move forward with our lives and that is our business. I do not butt into your life or your decisions so please let mine alone. I am so sick of you thinking that you are the center of the world and that everyone is suppossed to bow down to you. You have a lot of growning to do little missy. You need to learn how to treat people. You are so self centered. You have broken the last straw this time."

 

Ain't family grand?! And although she said she's picked a different date, in light of how she's behaved, I told her she might as well try to get her deposit on the trip to Jamaica back because she can just stay the hell home as far as I am concerned.

 

I could care less if she invites me to her joke of a wedding or not, and I told her if she wanted a war within the family, she's got it.

[estella1007]

Seriously...is she kidding? How can she even think that her point is valid? I will be your stand in sister, because that b*tch needs to do some major @ss kissing or shouldn't even think about going.

[jajajaja]

Oh my goodness. This is all insane. Ok- while I do get where you are coming from, I think you both should step back and take a deep breath before you kill each other. Weddings are important- yes. They are one day though. Marriage IS forever and hopefully so is family. Your sister is hurting you by being really inconsiderate, but I just want to make sure that it is THAT important to you to take it to this level. I mean- disinviting your sister? I pass no judgement because it's not my life, but I just want to make sure that before you act on anything to take a few days. If you still feel the way you do right now, then go with what you want.

 

As for your cousin planning her wedding within the same year- it totally sucks, but I have a HUGE family and if everyone "picked" a year, some might not get married for 5 years. That might not be the same scenario that you face, but just wanted to give another perspective. I personally think it's unfortunate for her. She picked a date after yours and announced her plans months after yours too. She is at quite a disadvantage so that's her own fault!

[KittenHeart]

Christie... wow... good for you, I'd tell her to stay the hell home too!

 

Man if my sister called me and told me she was considering getting married 3 days after me would have screamed at her telling her, she had her chance and sorry her engagement has now expired!!! HAHAHA!

 

The funny thing is, your sister is the one being so selfish and thinking she can do whatever she wants and doesn't think how it would affect you at all.

 

How dare she talk to you like that, she's just jealous that she's been lagging on getting married for over a decade!

 

I'm glad your mom's on your side, that's how you know you're right

[jmiranda]

Wow this whole situation is just insane. when I first read about your cousin I thought that was crazy but your sister just out did herself. She talks about you being self-centered? She wants to get married 3 days after you!!! It doesnt make any sense why she would even consider getting married right after you.

 

Stay strong Im sure that everything will work out in the end. I suggest that you get your parents involve in this situation in order to bring some sense to her.

 

What does your FI say about all of this?

[jmiranda]

I just wanted to add one more thing. Family is very important and I believe that you and your sister should consider working this out because Im sure that you would want her to be at your wedding and you would want to be at hers.