Help! In need of suggestions for a "non-bride" thing

[Can'tHardlyWait]

So here is the thing. My FI is freakin out because he has to choose his best man. He has a brother that is a clear choice... they are super, but (ofcourse there is a but) he also has a first cousin that might as well be his brother. The thing is, he absolutely wants his brother as his best man but he doesn't want to offend or hurt his cousin's feelings. Did I mention that he was his cousin's best man? Anyway, we are trying to think of ways to honor his cousin short of making him a best man. We already considered having 2 best men but his brother was a little hurt about having to share the honor... not in a bad way - it just means so much to him to be able to stand up for his younger brother. Obviously his cousin is going to be a groomsmen, but we are trying to think of other ways to honor him. So far, I have come up with having him at the chuppah holding the rings. Any suggestions!?!?!?

[-Kate-]

Jeez - I was going to suggest making them both "best men". I am making my two friends "maid of honor" and "matron of honor" - luckily one is married and the other is not.

 

What about giving him something different to wear? Or different flowers?

[Can'tHardlyWait]

Thanks Kate!

 

I think the flower thing might work, especially since we were thinking about only having the best man wear a boutonniere. We also thought of having the two of them "MC" the rehearsal dinner together

[dragonfly]

You probably won't hurt his feelings, guys are usually good like that, he probably expects that your fi would ask his brother. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, you also don't want anything to take away from the honour, you are giving to your fi brother. Have the cousin do a toast at the reception, or read a poem, or say a prayer.

 

Kelly~

[RaydensMama]

I cant see the cousins feelings being hurt. I would assume if he knows how close the brothers are then he would just assume that the brother would be the BM. I think having the cousin be the groomsman would be just as great.

[TATrisha]

I agree with Laura. I think his cousin should know that his brother is obviously going to fill the best man spot, and he should just be happy to be able to be there to support the groom as a groomsman.

[Can'tHardlyWait]

Thanks for all the advice ladies! After much discussion, we have pretty much decided to do exactly what you suggested. FI is just going to talk to his cousin and explain that his brother is his best man but its really important to us that he also be a big part of our wedding. I think we are going to have him share the duty of running the rehearsal dinner (and also the bachelor party... but thats a whole other thing that I thankfully have no part of)

[CourtneyV]

D'oh, I'm so slow. I was going to mention that Aaron has co-best men (his friend just assumed, Aaron didn't want to hurt his feelings since he was going to be a groomsman anyways... so he shares the honour with his dad)... but it looks like you've alread worked everything out! haha... damn my slow reaction...

[Can'tHardlyWait]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nini_Bride D'oh, I'm so slow. I was going to mention that Aaron has co-best men (his friend just assumed, Aaron didn't want to hurt his feelings since he was going to be a groomsman anyways... so he shares the honour with his dad)... but it looks like you've alread worked everything out! haha... damn my slow reaction...

Haha! That's too funny! If it makes you feel better, that was our original thought but when we pitched it to his brother... well, let's say he wasn't exactly enthusiastic. It's just that we really don't want to take away from his brother because it means so much to him. Plus, it kind of looks bad because I have 2 sisters and I only chose one.

So... thanks to everyone for your suggestions! When I told FI I was going to ask you girls he didn't say much. Then when I told him a couple of days later about all your suggestions, he was seriously impressed with your turnaround/response time!