"stop bugging me about your wedding"

Stamperamma · August 28, 2009

My MOH notified me the other day that she is unable to make it to the wedding due to costs and the date the wedding was set. She is a mother and wife and they had planned on taking a family vacation this year. Knowing this I had purposely booked a family resort so they could come if she could get the time. She advised that she could not get the time or so she thought. A couple of days later her husband tells me they have decided on going to Disney, they will be there the same time we are getting married. The killer is Disney is more expensive than Jamaica. Reality - Disney is more fun than Jamaica and she has to satisfy her family needs first. I can't be mad at her but I can be hurt. We may not always see what is happening on there end or what is stressing them or causing them to change plans. Try to keep an open mind.

rodent · August 28, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stamperamma

My MOH notified me the other day that she is unable to make it to the wedding due to costs and the date the wedding was set. She is a mother and wife and they had planned on taking a family vacation this year. Knowing this I had purposely booked a family resort so they could come if she could get the time. She advised that she could not get the time or so she thought. A couple of days later her husband tells me they have decided on going to Disney, they will be there the same time we are getting married. The killer is Disney is more expensive than Jamaica. Reality - Disney is more fun than Jamaica and she has to satisfy her family needs first. I can't be mad at her but I can be hurt. We may not always see what is happening on there end or what is stressing them or causing them to change plans. Try to keep an open mind.

This is such a great perspective. I'm sure it does hurt, but I'm so proud of you that you can see her side of things. Sometimes it's OK for people to be selfish or put their husband & kids first.

Maybe she has had it in her mind that when they kids get a certain age they will take that big disney trip. Her fear might be if they do a big family trip to jamaica instead they won't be able to do disney for another 5 years and then it doesn't fit her ideal for the kids age when they go on that first trip. POssibly they are the age she was on her first disney trip or the age that she was when she really wanted to go. I know I would rather take my family to Jamaica & I have no interest in visiting disney, but that's me. I'm sure I'll get there eventually I just have no desire to.

I have the next few years of trips thought out. I have some room for flexibility, but overall a friend's DW could really put a kink in things and maybe just not work for me. I know if I got invited to a DW for next summer I wouldn't go. We already have that summer trip planned & can not fit in another.

lmarie · March 9, 2011

I know this post wa sposted long ago, but I have to comment on it, Thats exactly how I have been feeling about my wedding. We have planned it around other people, made it as affordable as we can so everyone has the option to be able to go, and I feel like everyone is forgetting that its supposed to be a day about myself and my finacee.

I have been involved in so many of my friends weddings, I have been there every step of the way with them and done what ever they needed and wanted, as it was their day. I feel like I am getting none of that back for mine. From some of my "friends" and my fiancees family. Its really hurtful

But its comforting to know that its not only me, and that there is somewhere on here to talk about it

Quote:

Originally Posted by karenk77

I'm angry at the responses that I am getting from people (the same people i did this for) in regards to having to come out for our wedding. I think I have to stop expecting people to act like me..and stop doing so much for others. not that I do things with the intention of getting anything back..but if its not recipricated then how is it friendship

wilsonj2 · March 12, 2011

This is why I am not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen...just didn't want to put the pressure on people and then be disappointed if they can't go. I decided early in the planning that if it was just my fiance and me, I would be okay with that. We picked an expensive destination, and I can't fault people for not wanting to spend the money.

On a side note, it feels really good when people do book, because I know they are sacrificing a good bit to join us.

janette34 · June 6, 2011

My fiance's only brother and his family are not coming too our wedding. We have booked a year in advance and made sure we picked a family friendly resort at a pretty good rate (about $1350 per person, taxes in). Only to have them tell us they can't afford it, but somehow they just bought a new truck and camper not to mention everytime we see them he likes to tell us how much money he is making in overtime pay. I realize its difficult, especially with a young family but come on its your only sibling and hopefully this only happens once!

KelandJay81 · July 21, 2011

I feel you all ladies, I have been going through the same strife lately. I just hope if gets better. A close friend told me that people get really weird around weddings, funerals and divorce...lol

Sad isn't it. I am trying to keep my head up, as my situation got so bad that I had to actually fire my MOH (I just wrote a post about it). I am so sad and disappointed in someone who I thought was one of my closest friends.

We all have our problems but at the end of the day, this is about you and your hubby-to-be and by choosing a DW, you have probably accepted that it is alot to ask of people and not everyone will be able to come. I have one bridesmaid who is not coming but she is still my bridesmaid. There is more to being a bridesmaid than one day. She is helping organize the shower and bachelorette and I couldn't be happier. She admitted up front that she was not able to go because of work and financial reasons, but it didn't change a thing.

PS - I LOVE THE DOLLAR STORE!!!! It is the Destination brides best friend!!! lol don't let anyone tell you any different!

Hang in there, I am sending virtual hugs and we will all get through the drama and when it comes down to it, your day will be perfect.

Originally Posted by autjo

I am pretty sure everyone on BDW has or is going through this same kind of nonsense. I believe I have posted 100 times this week about how stupid people get around weddings. This is the main reason we are having our brothers stand with us and no one else. I have 5 un-official bridesmaids but didn't want to deal with the drama that comes with girls. We all live in different cities and actually got to hang out last weekend. One of the girls is also engaged so she wanted to talk about the wedding the whole weekend. But one of the girls is single and kept saying "are you reallly talking about weddings again blah blah blah". Another one of the girls is preggo and has barely said 2 words to me about the wedding. It kinda sux when the people you think will be excited for you aren't.

But on to the bright side... this forum helps so much! Come here to vent and talk about your dollar store finds. We all love to hear about 20 cent luggage tags and $1 save the dates. We are all in very similar situations and can empathize with most rants about wedding stuff!

All in all, the wedding is about you and FI and no one else. If people come then it is a total bonus, if not it will still be the happiest day of your life

LovesJakeyPoo · July 21, 2011

My sister totally ditched meeh....She went dress shopping with meeh and bragged all about how much money she is making with her new job and how her and her BOYFRIEND need to travel more and she was going to pay for him blah blah blah...anyway after shopping during lunch he started texting her weird things about who she is gonna walk with...the next thing I know after she get's home she texts me " I CAN'T BE IN YOUR WEDDING BECAUSE ***** DOESN'T WANT ME TO WALK WITH ANOTHER GUY, AND I CAN'T GO". Then a week later she texts meeh that she can go but still can't be in the wedding. I have been so upset about this that I finally broke down and told her how hurt I was and that if he wasn't going to allow her in the wedding I didn't want him to be there and I have no intention of having any kind of relationship with a controlling ass like him! now she's not going and i'm the b*tch!!

I even offered her to walk alone and i would have another girl walk with two guys....ok so this is my first wedding so i'm not sure how these things go but this is strange right????

Did i mention they have been together 6 years and he won't marry her???? oh yeah but she chooses him over her own sister.....

PEOPLE SUCK I SAY BOOOOOOO EVERYONE WHO IS MAKING OUR LIVES DIFFICULT AND LETS ENJOY OUR WEDDING LADIES!!! ( AND THE PLANNING )

futuremrstgun · July 21, 2011

wow! she needs to be kicked to the curb and he needs to be kicked in the N$#*Ts! AND THE HEAD...

WTH?!? 6 years and no ring..uhm..wow!

brush it off and keep it moving..while i realize that's easier said than done...you'll still be her sister well after he's gone..so stay strong and keep your head up...she'll come around and she'll be kicking herself for allowing his sorry behind to rule the roost on this one.

until next time, happy planning!!

R~

Originally Posted by LovesJakeyPoo

My sister totally ditched meeh....She went dress shopping with meeh and bragged all about how much money she is making with her new job and how her and her BOYFRIEND need to travel more and she was going to pay for him blah blah blah...anyway after shopping during lunch he started texting her weird things about who she is gonna walk with...the next thing I know after she get's home she texts me " I CAN'T BE IN YOUR WEDDING BECAUSE ***** DOESN'T WANT ME TO WALK WITH ANOTHER GUY, AND I CAN'T GO". Then a week later she texts meeh that she can go but still can't be in the wedding. I have been so upset about this that I finally broke down and told her how hurt I was and that if he wasn't going to allow her in the wedding I didn't want him to be there and I have no intention of having any kind of relationship with a controlling ass like him! now she's not going and i'm the b*tch!!

I even offered her to walk alone and i would have another girl walk with two guys....ok so this is my first wedding so i'm not sure how these things go but this is strange right????

Did i mention they have been together 6 years and he won't marry her???? oh yeah but she chooses him over her own sister.....

PEOPLE SUCK I SAY BOOOOOOO EVERYONE WHO IS MAKING OUR LIVES DIFFICULT AND LETS ENJOY OUR WEDDING LADIES!!! ( AND THE PLANNING )

jamieirene · July 21, 2011

Im sorry to hear that!! How rude I mean I understand the financial situation but I can't image it being last minute decision if your broke your broke and you just just let you know she's not coming and stop taking it out on you and stressing you out! Im sorry but killing a brides buzz is just t okay! I hope everything works out!