What to say to family not invited but think they're coming anyway?

*tanga* · August 15, 2009

I have a major dilemma.

I have not had a single stress in planning my DW until now.

I have a "crazy uncle and aunt" who fight with my dad constantly. They are always competing with my dad to "one up him" (to the point that they drove 4 hours to see me at an airport during a stopover to meet my FH just so they could say that they met him first!!)

I did not invite them to my Hawaii wedding because we are only having immediate family and our closest friends. They wouldn't be able to afford to come anyway so we are having an AHR when we get back.

My grandmother now informs me that she is helping them pay to come.

How do I get them not to come? They were not even invited and the stress of them being there is driving me crazy. We only have only 30 people or so. It is not like I can sit them in the far corner away from my dad.

I need help

KLC77 · August 15, 2009

I would probably say its great she was going to help them to come, but you are only having immediate family at your dw and can't wait to see them at the ahr and leave it at that. I wouldn't say close friends are going, even tho they will know they were there, only because it leaves room for them to argue. I'd keep it simple.

Love3 · August 15, 2009

did you send out invitations? lol if you did where is theirs lol?? That is rude in a way I think. I would def say something sooner rather then later to them. I agree with KLC77 that you should say immediate family and possibly tell them the truth that you don't want fighting and your dad comes first in this situation. Good luck

MrsSparrow2B · August 16, 2009

Maybe you could say something about limited numbers and explain that although you would love to have them there it would mean that someone closer would be unable to make it. Make it seem that you would like them but it really is impossible for some reason or another.

Otherwise, if you can bear it, be honest and say that you feel it would impact negatively on your day.

Good luck with it either way. Families are the worst in a wedding - no matter what your situation is.

cruisebride0410 · August 16, 2009

This is a tough situation, but I agree with the other girls. Just explain you wish you could invite everyone, but can only have immediate family. Make sure they know how much fun the reception at home would be. Then avoid their phone calls!