Am I being the psycho new wife?

[BlissfulMsMiranda]

Again thank you all for all the tips and advice ... we've been great all week!! Colin and I are finally feeling "comfortable" together after being a bit weird for a few weeks (which is clearly my fault for not communicating!). I'm getting a bit better at saying what's on my mind (so far).

 

So, I just had to share something with all of you ... I do our "Cool Site" selections on AskMen.com and I came across this website www.malemark.com which is like a Hallmark for men ... with greeting cards for mistakes only men can make. And I came across this one and HAD to share:

 

 

Looks like Colin should have sent me this one on Tuesday ... ;-) Hehehe

[*kellis*]

That's hilarious. I told my FI about it and now he's reading some out loud. Starting some interesting conversations. Like the, sorry I didn't get you anything for christmas but you told me not to, or something.

 

I told him that's not like when I told him he didn't HAVE to buy me anything for my birtday last month because money is tight. And guess what, I didn't get anything.

[khomac]

I'm glad everything is going good for you. You are so lucky to have a man who is willing to talk! lol That's awesome!

 

In my opinion, it's like an emotional cheat. My father started spending lots of time with a neighbour and while I don't believe for one second that they had an affair, it was still painful to my mom because he was comminicating more with this other woman than his own wife.

 

It sounds like Colin is a great man and he obviously loves you to death if he's willing to talk with you and work things out right away. I hope that my marriage will be like that

 

You're an inspiration!

[islandbride317]

LOVE the card you found on malemark, Miranda! It's perfect for your situation, and you ought to show it to your husband, and maybe share a laugh together about it, now that you know that he's keeping his behavior on the up & up with little miss therapist!

 

And I am so sorry I missed seeing this earlier (damn work and school make it hard for me to get onto BDW as often as I would like!), but I wanted to let you know that I am so proud of the way you handled yourself (you're better than me, girl!), and that you are in NO WAY PSYCHO! Quite the contrary, really. If you were psycho, I imagine some sort of heated conversation would have happened instantly when he came out to the car after making you wait THAT LONG, and hey, if you were really crazy, you might have flown off the handle at Katie too while you were at it! I think you showed remarkable restraint and control by thinking through what you wanted to say beforehand -- a super smart, mature thing to do that is always not the easiest when you are feeling vulnerable and suspicious of a situation.

 

KUDOS to you for being so restrained, and for telling him of the other things that are hurting/bothering you. I think anyone in a relationship owes it to their partner AND THEMSELVES to be upfront and honest about what's going on that's not working or beneficial to the state of the relationship. I know it's hard to find a balance between being a "nagging wife" and the opporsite of keeping things bottled up for the sake of peace in the home. He needs to know which of YOUR needs are not being met, physically and emotionally, so that you two can grow in your marriage successfully. I think it's best to air your feeling whenever necessary, and it sounds like you're doing that now!

 

And we all want to hear how your sessions go with Miss Katie, too! Hopefully, that will make you feel even more secure if you can see how she behaves during sessions firsthand. We're all pulling for you, sweetheart!

[rach220]

Just reading this thread now and realizing that you're my long lost twin...

 

Seriously, you're totally me. I hold things in and bottle them up and explode.

 

Currently, I'm furious at Scott for blowing off his to-do list for our AHR. I exploded on him the morning of the party and the day totally sucked for me since I was so mad. I waited days for him to apologize and I'm still waiting. Only problem is, he has NO IDEA that he did anything wrong. I refuse to have sex with him until he apologizes. I don't want to ask him for an apology because I'm afraid it won't be meaningful if I ask. I don't really know what my plan is...I feel like it's been so long that I haven't said anything about it that it's too late for me to still be mad and he will just be more mad about it. At this rate I'll neverr have sex again.

 

My friends all think it's hilarious that I'm withholding sex from my husband. It's not so much withholding as it is that I'm just not in the mood because I'm mad. I actually got over being mad, and now I'm just withholding on principle. I WANT AN APOLOGY.

 

The other thing is we're so busy that we never see each other and we work opposite shifts. There hasn't been a whole lot of opportunity for communicating, or apologizing.

 

Here's the kicker....our AHR was August 1st. Oh yeah, it's been 2 weeks. Even crazier is that we got back from our honeymoon on the 22nd and actually haven't had sex since Mexico! 5 weeks without sex. I thought it was supposed to be the opposite for newlyweds.

 

Anyway, I'm glad you were able to talk it through with Colin and you're feeling better about the situation. Hopefully I'll grow up soon and do the same!

[rach220]

PS...I hate Katie too.

[brandynd]

I think we all hate Katie. Just on principle. I'm sorry to hear that you and DH are still not getting along! Maybe if you try to bring up the topic calmly and then see what he has to say in response, it could lead to some resolution. I hope that things get better for you soon.

[MrsSparrow2B]

In his defence, I know that I've had my other half waiting for almost half an hour... time really did just slip away... And he did come and get me lol!

 

I guess if you're a happy couple then talking should really help things. I know FI and I wouldn't get very far if we didnt constantly talk about everything. It keeps me close to him and him to me. I'm glad things seem to have worked themselves out - let us know how the housework arrangement goes!

[khomac]

I wonder if if this Katie is a BDW member lol wouldn't that be a kicker!