Feeling a little down/pissed

[~*Lisa*~]

So far, with planning our wedding, there hasn't really been any disapointments in the whole thing - until this weekend.

 

My cousin that I'm closest with and do everything together, who was coming to the wedding, going to do my hair and make-up announced that she was going to Europe at the end of this month. I was completely shocked and pissed! She says this while the whole family is around, so my dad, not being scared to say anything asks her why she is going. Apparently she has a friend there right now and it's a perfect opportunity for her to go. So my dad then asks her, well why aren't you coming to Jamaica? She replies, well, going to Europe is alot cheaper! DUH! YOU HAD A WHOLE F'ING YEAR TO SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!! It's still going to cost her $1200-$1500 just for her flight over there, plus whatever else she has to pay. It's only $2000 for Jamaica! Anyway, I was so hurt for the rest of the weekend and it just upset me because I thought her out of anybody would come. I mean come on, I can understand if you don't have the cash, but seriously? EUROPE??!? I am still pissed!!

 

Anyway, of course because I was upset, the FI was upset and my parents were upset of the whole thing. I just don't know what to think about it anymore. My mom suggested talking to her and telling her how I feel. But is that really going to change anything? Not with her, which pisses me off even more!!

 

It was so hard to see her at work today (she's working as a student for the office that I work for). She was acting all normal, and here I am all pissed off and hurt about the whole thing.

 

I guess that's all I wanted to say right now. I needed somewhere to continue with my rant and I know all you ladies are always here for support! Thanks so much for listening, I do feel better now!

 

(wow, my first real crappy feelings about the wedding, this is not fun! )

[The Mandy in Chandy]

Gosh, I see this SO much on this forum, and it is really sad. People are going to look out for THEIR best interest and what suits them best most times. It's heartbreaking to know there aren't as many people out there who would sacrafice time and money for someone (even when they benefit from it) because it's not worth it to them. That's not to say YOU aren't worth it- but simply that they are too self-centered and lazy.

 

You aren't going to feel better about it until you talk to her. Maybe ask her out to dinner one night where you can both discuss why she chose Europe over your wedding and see if you can get some closure with it. It's still gonna sting, but at least you can hear her out.

 

good luck! Don't let it stress you out-it's not worth it!

[~*Lisa*~]

Thanks Mandy. I know it's not worth it, but it still hurts and it's hard not to think about it.

[jk1101]

Lisaloo - I don't know if you saw my vent yesterday, but I found out last night that my aunt and 2 cousins aren't coming.

 

My best friend (who is coming) said this:

 

It all comes down to if someone really wants to be there. If they really want to, they'd find a way and if they really DON'T want to, they'll find any excuse to back out. It's that simple. So you don't want people there who don't want to be there. There is PLENTY of time to make it work financially so I don't want to hear it.

 

 

 

This is your day to celebrate your love - don't let someone else ruin it.

[lmuze]

I understand your how you are feeling. My own brother forgot my wedding dates and was about to buy tickets to go to the worldcup (soccer) in South Africa. That's 2k+ more than going to Jamaica. It hurts! Lucky for me it's my younger brother and I told him I will beat him silly if he bails out on me!

 

Talk to your cousin and see whats what, you'll feel better. Sometimes the people closest to us don't understand how important they are to us. Just let her know you were really hurt and you were looking forward to share your special day with her and the rest of your family and friends. cheer up!

[JCruz]

That's really tough and that would really upset me too. I'm facing the same thing to some degree myself (friends who are not as close to me as your cousin is to you) and to tell you truth, I haven't said anything even though it's upsetting me.

 

You can't tell people how to spend their money and if they decide not to come that's their choice. I agree with Mandy and think you should try to talk to her. It sounds like the two of you are close and it would be a shame for this to come between you. You should tell her how you've been hurt by her decision so she understands what she's done and doesn't do something like flaunt her Europe trip in your face.

[pineapple princess]

oh no! that totally sucks. i would be so hurt about that.

[slapsappyhappy]

Yeah you have to confront her or you will never feel better... that sucks though. People are such jerks about this DW thing, saying we are selfish for expecting everyone to go away. Well if they don't want to come then DON"T! The last thing you need is a hater on your wedding day.

[Erika J]

Bummer Lisa!! That would make me pissed to! (((HUGS))))

[ali0284]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I agree with Imuze, sometimes people feel that they aren't important and figure it won't matter if they are there. But I do think you should talk to her, otherwise it is going to completely ruin your relationship. I know it hurts, and it may feel like a lost cause, but in the end, you will know you did everything to explain to her how you felt. I hope she takes everything you say to heart...goodluck. Keep your head up, and try not to let people get you down. You and your FI will have an amazing time, no matter who is there