Advice needed/vent

[pineapple princess]

HELP! okay - i think i just may need you all to help me set my expectations here.

 

About a month ago i "hired" a destination wedding organizer. I only had to give 50$ upfront because they make their money on the actual booking itself.

 

Well this was at the VERY beginning (as in - had not found this board yet) and because we want a catholic ceremony i need help finding out WHERE i could even get married. I told her we want a legal, catholic ceremony, on or near a beach or overlooking a beach. So we have been traipsing down the Mexico path. I had found Moon Palace on my own, so the other day, i look at the contract and it states that catholic ceremonies are not considered legal in Mexico!!!!! Well why in the fig newtons would she be recommending all these places in Mexico - when it wont be legal?? When that is one of the first things she asked me!?!?!?

 

And further more....i sent an email and left her a message asking about it. it took her almost a week to respond (okay - maybe i am exaggerating, i think it was 4 days). and the email says that yes - you have to have both a civil and religious ceremony for it to be legal. and sorry it took so long, but i was waiting to hear back from Mexico.

 

Well, don't you think these are things that you should find out UP FRONT?? Am I being unreasonable? Our original plan was to get married in January and i don't even have a COUNTRY narrowed down. (although dom rep is looking mighty strong thanks to this forum!)

 

I feel like i keep sending them suggestions instead of the other way around.

 

I think that they are really good at what they do, but i think that this might be their first catholic destination wedding (that is also legal). There are a few people that have been recommended to me on this board and i was thinking of switching. I feel kind of bad because i think this person has already done a ton of research and maybe i am just not giving them a fair chance.

 

arrgggghhh - i don't know. i just needed to vent!

 

relax, relate, release. smooches!!!

[Destination Scout]

I think it's important to find out how your wc works. It sounds like she lives in the states, not in Mexico, correct? As a wc that works in multiple locations I can understand how she doesn't understand how everything works every where, but it's also important for her to tell you how she plans to get that information for you. You will need to be patient when waiting for answers if she has to reach out to Mexico. Their culture is completely different than ours, most don't even own computers, so many times you are waiting for a vendor to go to an internet bar and check their e-mail.

 

I've found that the quickest way to coordinate a wedding in a new location is to spend a lot of time defining exactly what you want, and then send your coordinator there for a week. In that week they should be able to finalize your plans.

 

Good luck.

[jk1101]

My opinion, you have to be happy and comfortable with whoever is helping you plan your wedding.

 

It sounds like you gave her specific things that you wanted, i.e: legal, Catholic, on, near, overlooking a beach, etc...

If you then found Moon Palace on your own, and found out the legalities of a Catholic wedding on your own before she got back to you...it could be that she is extremely busy and perhaps you are right and this may be the first time she was asked to find out this information. But, I know for myself, I got so excited about planning my wedding I researched everything and gave my TA half the info when I called her the first time.

 

Is your $50 refundable, or are you willing to eat it to find another TA that you think will serve you better? You have to feel like you are being taken care of. Don't feel bad for switching- she is not your friend - this is a business relationship - you should be doing business with whoever makes you happy.

[jenninjamaica]

I agree with jerseykitten. Most important is that you are comfortable with the WC you are dealing with. Its hard because as brides we are so excited and have specific ideas about what we want, but then we need that extra help to get it all put together. I think you and your Fiance should decide what exactly you want and then try out a few WC with your vision and then pick the one that fits you best!

 

Just don't forget that even though you are thinking about your wedding 24 hours a day, your WC does have other clients and they are doing all the leg-work contacting the resort, which can be a lengthy turn-around when they deal with "island-time"!!

 

Good luck!!!!

[pineapple princess]

thanks girls!!!!

 

yes, she is in the states, but travels often to make sure she is up to date on all the resorts, etc. she actually just got back from mexico! the 50$ is not refundable, but she did do some leg work so i would not begrudge her that. at the end of the day - we can spend 50$ just going out to dinner. ha!

 

 

also - just like i do with my clients, if there is something that is taking time - i tell them. i don't just leave them hanging. even a quick "hey - still waiting to hear back from such and such" would have worked. maybe i should just tell her to do that going forward.

 

i guess what writing this and reading your replies has brought out is that i just don't trust her (yet). totally not her fault or anything! i know that wanting a destination catholic legal ceremony is not easy. she was just all ready to book those places in mexico so now i am just a little gun shy. i am just not sure when she would have realized that it was not legal. plus -i do not think she is an actual wc. from how she is talking - i would have to probably hire one of those (if i wanted) depending on the venue i chose.

 

i guess i will see how it goes. i feel bad about contacting other WC's but you are all right. Just because she is the first WC i looked at does mean that we are the best fit. I feel so much better!!!

 

Thank you all so much!!!!

[Destination Scout]

Good girl. Way to be decisive. You're right. This is an important relationship and you should feel good about it.

[YoursTruly]

Sounds like a familair experience I had with a website online that did DW planning. I ate the cost of the deposit and kept it moving!

[pineapple princess]

YoursTruly

 

did you end up using another company?

[MissBlade]

destinationweddings.com, right I've been working with them for a few months now and my experience has been pretty good so far. It also probably depends on which consultant you are working with as well. I'm not sure if all travel agents/destination wedding planners have this option, but what most attracted me to this site was the payment plan option for the guests. Let me know what you decide on. As our date approaches, I want to make sure I know what to expect.

[pineapple princess]

hi miss blade. actually, destinationweddings.com is one that i was thinking of switching to! i have had two separate peope recommend susan and sally. the general reviews i have been seeing say it completely depends on your consultant and to switch if you are not getting the attention you need.

 

mine is a smaller firm that my MOH send me right after i got engaged. keep me posted though!!!! i will be doing some major research and etc before i choose another one.