Question for anyone doing the legal part at home

[echo2_62]

lydiag - it sucks that people are questioning their decision to go to your DW if you're also having a small ceremony here for the legal part. We're not inviting anyone other than witnesses for our legal part, and pretty much just making it a paper work necessity. Oh and we haven't told anyone that the wedding in mexico isn't really the legal one!!

 

I think that if you explain to your (nasty) guests that your wedding in mexico is the one that you intended to have the most meaning for yourselves and for your guests with, and that the ceremony at home is more about getting the paperwork out of the way then maybe they'll understand a little better. Maybe you could also mention that if you were sticking with just the intimate ceremony here, then they might not have even received any invite at all so they should be thankful to go to Cuba with you!

 

Try not to let their comments get to you because really, it isn't their decision as to who you invite to ANY part of your wedding. If they feel that inconvenienced then maybe they should look into transferring their trip to someone who would be much more happy to celebrate with you!

[lydiag]

thanks for the kind words Echo2 62 - it is hard not to let the words affect me but I will try to remember that this is our wedding day and regardless of what they think it isn't my issue.

 

Funny thing is that I actually wish right now that they wouldn't come - I really hate to have someone there knowing that they would rather not be.

[echo2_62]

Don't forget that it's more likely once everyone actually get to Cuba, they will be having SO much fun and your wedding will be so wonderful that they will regret having ever thought about not going! We will all have our own stresses leading up to the wedding, which I've just come to accept, so it's all about making sure your wedding memories trump all the pre-wedding negativity!

[KJT1985]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms325i We are having a secret legal cermony within the next few months at city hall and then planning a symbolic destination wedding for early 2010. Because we live in different countries FI(American) we want to get the immigration process started now--instead of waiting until after our wedding. For the legal city hall wedding it will just be the two of us.

This is what we were going to do (I'm American, my fiance is Canadian) BUT he talked to an immigration lawyer and you're not allowed to leave the country for like 6 months after you apply for a green card. So you might want to check into that if that's what you were planning on. Now we have to wait till after Jamaica to get married legally otherwise it might screw up the green card process. We also found out that you can't even have a SYMBOLIC wedding outside the US.... so my fiance is being extremely paranoid now - thinking they might find out and not let him have a green card.

[HereFishie]

Thanks for the info on that echo. We're still going to do the legal part here... we're fine with using a marriage commissioner if need be. Sure would be easier to go to the courthouse though!

[echo2_62]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereFishie Thanks for the info on that echo. We're still going to do the legal part here... we're fine with using a marriage commissioner if need be. Sure would be easier to go to the courthouse though!

Yes, I totally agree that the courthouse would be easier! Have you started looking for a marriage commissioner yet? I've checked out a few online but have yet to make the calls. We'd originally planned (and would still prefer) to do our legal part after our wedding in mexico but because of a couple family members that aren't able to make the wedding but could visit from Manitoba before hand, we have thought about doing the legal stuff when they are available. But we totally haven't decided on it yet...

[HereFishie]

No not yet, I do know someone who is friends with a marriage commissioner here though. We're hoping for it to be as non emotional as possible. We don't even want a congratulations for the papering/legalizing here. As far as we're concerned our wedding is in the Mayan. We don't want to "feel" married before we get there!

[echo2_62]

That's exactly how we feel about our legal part! Plus, we didn't want our friends and family to know or feel like it wasn't the "real thing" in Mexico if they found out we weren't doing the legal part while we're there!

[boscoe5200]

My grandparents are unable to travel, so we are flying from Seattle to St. Louis to do a small legal ceremony with them so they can be included before we fly out to our DW. geesh.

[trobin01]

Wow Boscoe5200, that is really nice of you! I'm sure your grandparents will appreciate it. I think FI and I are going to elope before our DW, to where we had a first date (San Francisco) and not tell our guests.

 

But I think no matter what you do people will complain beforehand and they rave about it after. It seems to be a theme. But it is hard not to let it get to you.