How do you justify it?

Debs · July 26, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by lauren

why justify it? we just flat out said "it's our wedding and this is what we want". if they said, "well you know so and so won't come" we said "our choice is to have our wedding where and when we want it, and their choice is to either come, or not come".
lots of people have changed their weddings for their family. i would not.

I'll echo Lauren's words here because she said it so perfectly. Those who truly want to share your day will find a way to be there. Plain and simple.

Quick short story: I was born and raised in Ottawa (holla!!) but had lived north of Toronto for about 12 years. When I sent out my wedding invites, I sent one to my very bestest friend from public school who I chatted with once in a blue moon via Facebook kind of thing. I never thought that they would come, but was sure my current Toronto friends would (everyone saying ya ya we are so excited etc).

Well turns out NONE of my Toronto friends came and my bestie from childhood did, and her daughter was my flowergirl. We've recently moved back to eastern Ontario and have reconnected once again!

We only ended up having 8 guests in the end. It was the PERFECT day.

Do what YOU and FI want. To hell with everyone else.

KLC77 · July 26, 2009

"I don't want to become a bridezilla, but I just can't figure out how to make everyone happy - or at least make everyone accept the idea. "

You'll never make everyone happy. You have to make sure the two of you are happy and anyone else who is happy is just a bonus! And don't ask for opinions. You know what they say... everyone has one and really their opinion doesn't matter.

If you and FI decide that a destination wedding is what is most important to you and what will make you happy, I say go for it! In the end, it is the two of you who are going to remember your day forever. What do you want that memory to be like? Good luck with everything!

spazycat6454 · July 26, 2009

Just remember you won't be able to make everyone happy and you and your FI should do what will make you happy!

I have the same problem many other brides who choose destination weddings do, my family in NY, FI family in CA and we live in Reno so where to have the wedding. We decided on a cruise to Bermuda out of NY because 1) we love cruising, 2) my mom has insisted on paying for the wedding including paying for my 6 nieces and nephews to come and an AHR (she is very excited, very excited about the wedding) so leaving out of NY helps keep costs down for her 3) if we had the wedding in NY (since mom is paying) then everyone from CA would have to travel there anyway and 4) I love Bermuda and we got a great deal on the cruise!

So we have heard it all from those we have invited from "its too expensive", "the cruise is to long (7 days)" and one of my favorites "it's in Oct. and we can't take our kindergartner out of school." Seriously, Kindergarten, somehow I think the child will survive and I don’t think it will be held against her when high school graduation rolls around!

I have also had some great responses including my best friend. I wanted to ask her to be my Maid of Honor, (she will be the only person to stand up with me on my side) but she is a new teacher and quite poor right now so before I asked her my FI and I decided we would pay for her trip. So I asked her to be my MOH and quickly told her we would like to pay her way and she said she was honored and would love to be there with us. She then told me that she had already taken a 2nd job to pay for the trip because there was no way she would miss all the fun and to spend our money on something else for the wedding she was all set. I’m so happy she will be there with me and she has already been such a great help.

I have another great friend who will not be able to make it to Bermuda for several reasons and she is very excited for us and has named herself an honorary bridesmaid. She emails me every few days wanting to know what she can do to help.

Just do what you really want. The people who love you will make every effort to be there with you in person or in spirit and to hell with the rest of them!!