Should you have an AHR - my thoughts

[caribbeanLover]

I got 2 dress's .One of which is for dancing in DR and doing the TD. I will wear my dress all night long.It's the perk of having AHR!

My family appreciates the fact we are throwing a reception because they truely didn't want to miss seeing me in my dress and getting together with all the families.

I think it'll be fun, We are having the hot cold buffet (more cold since it'll be July) lots of dancing, pay bar (beer is 3.25$ mix drink is 4$) Gift wis: whatever we get or don't get we will be happy, our dream was to have a DW, after that I could care less!

[mich999]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wsarah2107 With destination weddings being a relatively new and not so common concept, do people seem to understand and get excited about it? I just wouldn't want people talking and saying how many parties are we trying to have, we're just trying to get gifts, whatever. Ya know what I'm trying to say?? Also for those who wore their dress again--did you wear it the dress the entire time or for just part of the party? Thanks guys!!

I actually think it's the opposite - that many people who cannot make it assume you will have a big party at home too and/or push you to have a party at home. I know a lot of brides on the forum have had parents push for this. I don't think people think it's a present grab - but we did invite almost everyone at the AHR to the wedding ( we had 44 at the wedding and 100 at the AHR). At the end of the day, people who are inclined to think negatively, will probably think that no matter what so I wouldn't worry about it. I think most people appreciate that you are having a second party so that they can celebrate with you. Given my conclusion that started this whole thread that the party was for everyone else, not us, pretty funny that anyone would think all that work and expense was worth a few more gifts!!

Oh, and I wore my dress the whole night - my attitude was why not?! Like I said before, it made my guests feel more like they were at a wedding, which was their expectation. But I know a lot of girls incorporate different themes and activities in their AHR where not wearing your dress makes more sense - it just depends on what you want to do. No matter what the theme, though, I think guests like to see the bride in her dress, even if only for a while.

[caribbeanLover]

mich999

Very well said! I agree so so much!!!

[Jenn K-W]

We had not really thought too much about having an AHR until a few family members told us "we can't make the wedding, but we'll for sure come to the reception after..."

 

Ummmmm, OK... reception after... note to self! LOL

 

So now I am pondering this thought but am affraid to bring it up to my fiance, as I know he will not be impressed about the additional cost. Its a hard, HARD decision to make! I would love to celebrate with everyone after! But do I really need the stress? I have just nder a year to decide so I'll keep reading this thread for a while!

[caribbeanLover]

I'm in the same boat, we don't have the cash to have a reception. Our whole point of doing a DW was to cut cost, and most of the cost is in a reception.

I rented out the leigon for $1 because my dad is a member (anyone can become a member now, even in Ontario for $35) I'm doing hot, cold buffet for 70ppl under 500$ It wont be high top end food, but it'll fill ppl up! I have a friend for a dj but for those who don't, sent up a laptop, or Ipod to speakers that they usualy have there.

[shan13]

We are doing one for our families, mainly because our Mom's are not going to Vegas with us! I think there are lots of creative ways to do an AHR w/o breakiong the bank..since I am not doing a lot for Vegas i.e. centerpieces, I am making the centerpieces myself for the venue..we are using a legion hall(think someone else posted this) and my supv caters weddings so she is doing ours..I am saving for the dj..and I also didn't plan our AHR right away..it is gonna be sometime in Aug or Sept...we are getting married in June..

[caribbeanLover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shan13 We are doing one for our families, mainly because our Mom's are not going to Vegas with us! I think there are lots of creative ways to do an AHR w/o breakiong the bank..since I am not doing a lot for Vegas i.e. centerpieces, I am making the centerpieces myself for the venue..we are using a legion hall(think someone else posted this) and my supv caters weddings so she is doing ours..I am saving for the dj..and I also didn't plan our AHR right away..it is gonna be sometime in Aug or Sept...we are getting married in June..

legion all the way! it may not look all fancy mancy for a wedding, but it'll do it's job, and you can't go wrong with the price.

[candicemarie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by candicemarie I'm feeling you there! We're kinda counting our engagement party as an AHR-type thing, if that makes sense. Also, I know I would be one of those who would regret an AHR for the money reason. Both of us have quite a few family members coming to the DW, though, (18ppl out of the total 25) so that's prob another reason we're not gonna do one.

So we totally planned to not do an AHR, but just decided last nite we're going to have one afterall. I'm hoping for it to be super casual, more like a party than a reception, but we'll see. These things seem to take on a life of their own!

[Jacilynda]

Quote:

Originally Posted by candicemarie So we totally planned to not do an AHR, but just decided last nite we're going to have one afterall. I'm hoping for it to be super casual, more like a party than a reception, but we'll see. These things seem to take on a life of their own!

We are sorta doing a football party. We know our friends will love this. We're doing the taco bar & nacho bar for super cheap on our own, kegs, cupcake stand from a local bakery, we'll show a slideshow and mingle and then when the game starts we'll watch and during halftime we'll switch back to pics and such.

We aren't formal people at all! So this works well for us and our friends and family, and people don't feel like this is a gift grabbing type of party.

[inspiredfyre]

thanks so much for that feedback, it really helps hearing second opinions. I have been in debate for several months, and have not decided to do one yet, so now I feel okay not doing one! I am glad you did have a great turnout, and got to include your family and friends. I'm sure they were more than grateful that you held one! Congrats, and hope you are enjoying the married life!