Just got my first estimate. Yikes!

[*kellis*]

Someone sent me a catering estimate for 75 people at St. Regis Monarch Beach in Dana Point. Thirty THOUSAND dollars. For food, and the ceremony fee. Are you kidding me? ??

 

Maybe I shouldn't have started out by requesting information from the most expensive resort we were looking at. But my father loves this place and it was one of the first he suggested I look into. It is also were we're going to be staying in two weeks when we go out to orange county to look at possible venues. (I know, it's a bit much for a weekend trip but it is also to celebrate my birthday)

 

Maybe it's so crazy to me just because I can't fathom making that much in the next five years, being the student with the part time job(not my choice) that I am.

 

Am I way off base thinking that spending thousands of dollars(even the 4 thousand dollar minimums I've seen at some places seem ridiculous to me) on one night of food is kinda ridiculous? Don't get me wrong, I know that this is one of the most important days of my life. But in the end, it's just one meal right? Plus, we still have to plan the AHR which is going to have a lot more people then our actual wedding reception.

 

Starting to feel overwhelmed and I've still got a year of planning to go

[*Karla*]

You are not off base! One of the major appeals of a DW for me was the reduction in costs. $30,000 for one night of food seems absolutely rediculous for me. Food is one part of a wedding, you haven't even gotten a dress, paid a photographer, bought a cake, etc. I don't know who is paying, but if it is your parents, think about what else that money could go to.

 

There is nothing wrong spending a large amount of money on your wedding, it is a once in a life time event after all! However, if I (or my parents) had that kind of money, I would much rather put it towards a new house, car, or even school bills.

[The Mandy in Chandy]

I couldn't spend $30k on food for 75 people- heck I'd have a hard time spending that on 3000 people! It's just not worth it to me. I don't blame you for reconsidering at all. That's the cost of a car! A down payment on a house! If I was loaded and had that to spend like it was nothing then I might, but if you would be putting yourself (or anyone else) in debt to do it, I'd find another alternative. People will remember the decorations, the way you look, the entertainment...the food will be one of the first things forgotten.

 

Good luck making your decision! I know it'll be a toughie

[Jacilynda]

Well the good news is you started w/ the most expensive so they next estimates you get will seem great!

 

I found w/ us we are both students, I'm a stay at home mom, and joe also works full-time we had a small budget and no room to budge. I found on a lot of things I didn't really ask for a generic estimate. I told them what I wanted, how many people I had, and how much money i could spend, then asked what are my options, what can we do. it got me much further than just looking at large over priced estimates that I couldn't fathom and only bring you down.

 

i think the very 1st thing for a wedding is budget, if have money to spend and don't care about budget then great, if not set a budget. There are several different budget calculators online that you can put in what you would like your overall budget to be and then add in what items you need or remove some of the things they have on the calculator that you don't need. Then it will spread out your budget among your categories to give you a basic idea on where your money should go in each area and how much. Trust me you can have the wedding of your dreams on any budget and this forum has girls w/ fabulous weddings of all budgets!

[EDSROSA]

I went through the same thing. I was pricing different places her in NY and the cheapest I found was $25,000.00 and that was their basic, most simple package. We both felt that we could use that towards a down payment on a house. So we decided to do a destination wedding and gave ourselves a budget.

So, no, you are not off base. Some people feel that spending 30,000 on there wedding is justifiable while others dont.

Hang in there, I think what Jacilynda wrote is a good way to approach it. Tell them what you have and can do and see what they can do for you.

 

Good Luck!

[EDSROSA]

I went through the same thing. I was pricing different places her in NY and the cheapest I found was $25,000.00 and that was their basic, most simple package. We both felt that we could use that towards a down payment on a house. So we decided to do a destination wedding and gave ourselves a budget.

So, no, you are not off base. Some people feel that spending 30,000 on there wedding is justifiable while others dont.

Hang in there, I think what Jacilynda wrote is a good way to approach it. Tell them what you have and can do and see what they can do for you.

 

Good Luck!

[Inked1]

Yikes is right! Can't imagine spending that on food even if I had it to spend. On the plus side you have some time to discover some better options. Try not to feel too overwhelmed, it seems like so much to do at a year out but eventually things start to fall into place.

[finzup]

I couldn't do it.. just thinking about it makes my head spin ..lol ..

[*kellis*]

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Money is kind of a sensitive subject right now with our families, having divorced and remarried parents on both sides that all want a part in the wedding planning. But we have to address it eventually so I guess sooner is better than later. And my father is very big in appearances and I'm not only his oldest daughter and first child to get married, but also the first grand-daughter on his side of the family(which is huge) so I know there will be a lot of compromises on my idea of a laid back informal wedding.

 

Even if our families could afford to spend that much, I know the "family" of myself and FI could not even afford to pitch in and take on any part of the planning if things are in that price range, we're struggling to pay for school and medical bills at the moment.

I don't feel right asking for half of that to spend on food.

 

This economy kind of puts a damper on spending money on something like the wedding. I wish I could just get married to the love of my life with my toes in the sand. That's the important part of the day(the saying I Do part not the sand )If only it was that simple...

[jk1101]

30K is a LOT of money for a wedding - That's typical for a NY/NJ wedding as EDSROSA also mentioned - I've been to some around here that were 50-75K.

 

Were they amazing weddings? Absolutely.

 

Do I feel I need to spend that kind of $$$ to celebrate my love?

 

No.

 

If you've never planned or been involved in the planning of a wedding before, things can come as a big surprise when you start to price things out - Weddings can cost a lot, or they don't have to - it's what you want, and at the end of the day, the most important part of the wedding, is that you are marrying the person that you love. There is no price on happiness and people sometimes forget that - if the people you invite are truly happy for you - they won't care whether they are at a fancy resort or a restaurant.