My Best Friend and FI can't stand one another!

capeach31 · August 8, 2009

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.

My college best friend (and roommate) and FI were like that. I was in the middle and it stressed me out and made me SO miserable -I cried a lot too. Things are fine now, but it took us graduating, living in different places, and a LONG letter venting my feelings to her.

I can understand not wanting to make the situation worse. And I can understand what people say about not having your best friend there. The truth of it is that they both should be trying to make an effort.

In my situation, my best friend started saying bad things about him. I think that she started acting up when I got close to someone -maybe she felt she would lose me/our friendship? Is there a reason why they don't get along? I don't know if either of them would admit it, but maybe it's something deeper. Good luck & keep us updated!

flbluiiis · August 10, 2009

Any updates?

Duchess · August 10, 2009

Not sure if it is still an open issue, but I think 2 things need to happen.

1- She needs to be told that from now on, her opinions on FH need to kept to herself. Agree to disagree, but her support is demanded from this point on as a term of your friendship.

2- FH needs to be told that this is important to you, and that you have already taken care of point #1 if possible. Neither of them should be bad mouthing the other to you, although if it is acceptable from one of them, IT IS HIM, NOT HER. He is sharing his life with you and looking out for you. That said, he shouldn't forbid you, and you shouldn't let him. My guess is he is taking a strong stand, but not "forbidding" it, but who knows.

Anyway, you are right now worried about your Wedding, but this issue is going to permeate your life. I really would get it under control now...and it seems like it is not an insurmountable task to do so. If she learns of your DW, its over, and you won't be able to salvage!

big3n09 · August 12, 2009

I hope things get better for your situation. FI and my sister get along as far as I know but now he is saying he doesn't want a brida party and that my sister does not need to be in it. He saying it is all about us which I agree but me and my sister are close and I would like for her to have a special part in our ceremony.