My Best Friend and FI can't stand one another!

[BlakleyBrideToBe]

My best friend and my FI can't stand one another! If we do something together the entire night I'm walking on egg shells, just praying they don't fight. Then the next day I hear about what a jerk she is or what jerk he is blah blah blah. I'm so tried of being torn between them. My FI is refuses to let me invite her to our DW. He says the she will make the entire wedding day about her and not me. She does require a lot of attention and loves to be the center of attention. Which I know this about her and accept it because she is my best friend and has been for a long time. I told her that we are getting married. I just told her we're going away to get married. I couldn't tell her that we're having a DW and she's not invited. I just couldn't stand to see the hurt in her eyes. Now I feel terrible! I really want her to be there and do all the things a best friend does. I just don't know what to do. My FI has always meet me half way on everthing, but on this issue he refuses to spend one day with her much less a week. Please help!

[JOSIE]

oooh that is really tough. why do they hate eachother so much? is there NO chance they can make amends or at least agree to be agreeable for a week. i could never get married without my best friend......i'd HAVE to make FI come around....it just wouldnt be the same :/ but i understand his point as well seeing that it's his wedding too.

[Jessica]

Unless you BFF has done something really horrible to you and/or your FI, I think it's pretty unfair that your FI "refuses to let you" invite her to your wedding. I guess I'm a pretty dominant personality because it would be a cold day in hell if my DH ever refused to "let me" do something, especially if it was something this important (and it does seem important to you). Is there a reason - other than the fact that they don't get along - that your FI doesn't want her there? I wasn't a big fan of some of the people Brian invited to our wedding, but if it was important to him that they be there then who was I to deny him that?

 

Does your FI know how hurt and torn you feel?

 

I don't want to judge because I feel like I don't know the whole story (ie. if there's a bigger reason your FI won't budge on inviting her), but I think it's pretty crappy that you aren't able to invite her because it does seem like you do very much want her to be there with you.

[*Nadine*]

omg I have no idea what to say. I could not get married without my best friend so I have no idea how you must feel. I think you really need to talk to your FI about this b/c you could end up resenting him for the fact later on. And when/if your BF does find out that you had a dw and she wasn't invited, I think your friendship would be over to be honest. Maybe sit down and talk to your FI about this and then also sit down and talk to your BF about your concerns and your FI's concerns. There has to be a way to come to an agreement on this.

[BlakleyBrideToBe]

Thanks Ladies for letting me vent. I've been in tears for days now. I'm going to have to get him to see how important she is to me.

[jk1101]

I would think your FI would understand how important it is to have your BF at your wedding and that your BF would understand that this man is going to be your husband and the two of them will have to learn to coexist in harmony as they are both integral parts of your life. If it's just a matter of clashing personalities, tell them to get over it and move on. If it's a more serious matter than that, maybe the 3 of you need to sit down to work it out as they are both very important to you.

Good luck!

[jajajaja]

I would think that two people who care immensely for you would make the effort to act civil for a week. Unless something really bad went down between the two, this is something that should be compromised on IMO.

 

I mean, lots of people have personality clashes with their FI's family, but would they say the FMIL or FSIL can't attend the wedding just because they don't like them? That's silly. It's one of those situations that you just have to learn to grin and bear because you care for your significant other. I hope it works out for you. This is just a sad situation and I DO think you have a choice.

[YoursTruly]

wow i could not imagine not having my BFF at my wedding and in all honesty cannot imagine my DH telling me hs is not "allowing" me to do something. He would have to respect the fact that peace among everyone may not be achievable but the island is big enough for both to attend.

[~Keira~]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can somewhat understand because there was a period of time (a few years) that my fiance didn't like one of my closest girlfriends. I am just happy that since our engagement they have managed to mend fences. With a couple months left until your big day I really hope that both of them can pull it together and act civil for one week.

 

I wish you luck.

[LIW]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think you need to sit down with your FH and find out why he dislikes her so much. You also need to let him know how much she means to you and how much you would like her to be there. I think you need to at least invite her. Let her decide if she wants to be there or not.