FH is being such a pain!!!...

[GracieBebe]

Ok, I need to vent!!! Maybe I'm just not being understanding enough here but I've been the one to do most of the planning for this wedding and AHR and it seems like he doesn't seem to get it.

 

Let me start of with the fact that he never wanted an AHR in the 1st place b/c it is additional costs, etc but I said we needed to have one and our friends who couldn't make it to our DW also wanted us to have one. So we decided to have a casual bbq/picnic at a local park for everyone. We are inviting everyone possible (friends, family, co-workers, etc) and we planned on not having a registry so that it wouldn't seem like we were gift-grabbing. We had originally planned on mentioning in our evite that no presents were necessary but if people insisted on gifts, to please donate to our charity registries. However, after reading on numerous boards and sites that mentioning gifts on any invitation is tacky and unwelcome, I left that part off our evite when I sent it out yesterday. I had planned on sending out a seperate email to everyone invited that "b/c of many requests about registry, we feel that their presence is present enough..." and mention our charity registries that way. This is when he blew up at me saying that I should have put it on the evite and now people are going to think we're doing this just to get gifts, blah blah blah. I told him about the email I planned to send but he said it didn't matter. That I should have put it on the evite. I don't see how that makes a difference and my way follows etiquette rules! Am I out of line here?

 

Then, today, I found out that 2 of our friends might want to go to our DW but we didn't think we had the room so I contact the WC to ask her about the rooms and not only do we not have the room, we are short 1 room b/c she forgot to tell us that 1 of the rooms is going to be used by the photographer. Hmmmm... good thing I hadn't asked those additional friends yet. With some creativity, we can still fit our existing guest list but FH is upset that I didn't find this out before. How the h*ll was I supposed to know to find this out beforehand? I've never been there before. I never had a wedding there before. I've never known anyone to plan a DW before to know that I'm supposed to ask that? Are you kidding me? Is he really blaming me for this?? Seriously, I don't know what has crawled up his a$$ today and yesterday, but he's seriously pushing me to the point where I'm about to kill him! (J/K...maybe...)

[DanielleNDerek]

Cant you edit your evite to put on the presents thing. I'm sure most people will end up going on evite later and looking at the invitation again and will see that. This way its not a whole other email. I wouldnt sweat it.

 

as far as the rooms for your friends, could you put the photog in a hotel to free up the room? and cant any additional people that want to come get a hotel room and just come over to hang out during the day and on the wedding?

[GracieBebe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek Cant you edit your evite to put on the presents thing.

Well, with evite, you can send a mass email to all the invitees so that's how I was going to do it. And just in case, I can add it to the actual evite later too. I just didn't want people to initially see it and think it was poor form to include the registry info there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek as far as the rooms for your friends, could you put the photog in a hotel to free up the room? and cant any additional people that want to come get a hotel room and just come over to hang out during the day and on the wedding?

We could do that but I would feel bad that they would have to pay for accommodations when our other friends do not since we are providing accommodations to everyone who is coming. We can't afford to pay for additional hotel stays either. And to decide which friends get to stay in the chateau and which friends have to pay would be hard for us to do as it would seem like we were playing favorites. And FH would definitely not be into paying for a hotel for the photog just to free up a room b/c the idea of having to pay for the photog's stay would be an unexpected expense and in the state he's in now, he would end up b*tching at me about that too.

My thing is that these are unexpected things that tend to arise. I understand that and let them roll off my back. Sure, they are annoying but find a solution! Don't blame me. If he is upset with the WC about it, then talk to her about it. When I was on the phone with her, I offered to conference him in and he said don't bother, for me to handle it. And then he gets pissy when I don't ask all the questions he had. I'm not a mind reader!!! I didn't know that's what she had planned to do with the photog. And I sure didn't know that he had more questions for her!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Danielle, not yelling at you. I'm just still very aggravated at him!!!!!