I think this is my new hangout today. UGH

[*HOLLY*]

Now I found out my FMIL wants me to change my dress shopping days because her son Kyle is coming home. He has been overseas in Iraq for 5months and will be home for 2 weeks. Yes its great he is coming home and im excited however I know most the time it will be spend with his FI and not really family. I have paid for a private showing at a boutique and friends that are coming already took off work so they could come. Note this: I have changed my wedding date because of him and now I have to change my dress shopping. If I dont change it my FMIL wont go nor with my FSIL. Why do I have to budge things for my wedding? Im sorry I cant change my shopping days and I know she will be upset about it. What am I suppose to do?

[Cassondra2009]

I would honestly keep the appointment and tell her you already paid for it and people have arranged their schedules to come and it would be too much of a hassle to change it. With that said, I think its completely reasonable that they want to spend as much time as possible with Kyle. So if they decide not to come...oh well! You go dress shopping with your friends and make sure to spend another day with Kyle.

[~Nicole~]

Is FMIL paying for your dress? If she isn't then I would just keep the appointment. If they end up being available that day then fine, and if not that's their choice.

[roo66]

Im sure that when he gets home hes not going to want to spend the whole two weeks with his mum.Im also certain he would tell her to go with you if he knew she was going to miss out on seeing you potentially buying your dress.So i would tell her you cant really cancel and that you will take lots of piccies for her!! even if you cant when your there.Tell her with a good attitude give her a hug and leave it to her.Dont make a big deal of it and im sure with the prospect of her son coming home she wont either.Dont be cross with her shes probably wished the days away and prayed she didnt get the dreaded knock on the door.Have fun xxx

[*HOLLY*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikki07 Is FMIL paying for your dress? If she isn't then I would just keep the appointment. If they end up being available that day then fine, and if not that's their choice.

No she isnt. What gets me is she will be all upset she cant go and try and make me feel bad.

[itsfinallyhere]

I would tell her that you tried to change the appointment but another one was not available for quite sometime, and that they were not happy about returning the deposit. If the shopping day is not on the day of arrival I do not think it should be any problem for her to be able to take a few hours out with you. I am also sure that Kyle will want some time alone with his Dad and brother, to talk about things he may not be comfortable talking about in front of his mom. The other thing I would maybe point out is the trouble everyone else went to, to arrange time off to be with you and this opportunity with may not be possible again. I am positive that she will understand, and so will FSIL.

 

As for guilt, well that is something mom can without even knowing it. And if she trying to manipulate you thru guilt, well then stand your ground, you want this to sent precidence. Good luck I hope you find a way thru this with everyone happy, but remember you can't always please everyone, and gor this day you whould only be worried about pleasing yourself and FI. I would also talk to FI about it. He could very well solve your issue for you, with a little word or suggestion to his mom.

[~Nicole~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scubadiva No she isnt. What gets me is she will be all upset she cant go and try and make me feel bad.

I think that's really selfish of her. She needs to learn that the world cannot revolve around her schedule. Sometimes the more you accomodate someone the more demanding they become. If you go ahead with the appointment it might be a wake up call for her, and trust me it will be better for you in the long run!! It's not like you're being manipulating or unreasonable. I think it is completely ok to go ahead with the plan. You might hear some grief about it but just shrug it off.

[tylersgirl]

I say don't change the appointment either. Just be honest and explain why you can't change the date. Also, tell her that you are really excited to try on dresses and you can't wait anymore. I know from experience that you can't accommodate everyone's schedules. I would just let her get over it and maybe include her in something else like getting your shoes and jewelry or maybe a veil. Good luck to you and I hope you find the perfect dress!!!

[jajajaja]

To be honest, I would think his mom would want to make every day available to see her son- I know I would. He was over in another country fighting a WAR! It's not like he just returned from vacation. Maybe she wants to focus on celebrating her son's life and not necessarily divide her attention to look at wedding dresses.

 

I can see how you would be frustrated and I don't mean to be offensive, but some things are bigger than weddings. Some things are bigger than shopping for dresses. If it is that important to you, then keep your shopping date. Your MIL and FSIL can make the decision if it's really important to them as well. However, I think you should be happy that they like you enough to want to be a part of this experience.

 

Good luck on whatever you decide, but I just wanted to voice that I don't necessarily think your MIL or FSIL are being unreasonable.

[*HOLLY*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel To be honest, I would think his mom would want to make every day available to see her son- I know I would. He was over in another country fighting a WAR! It's not like he just returned from vacation. Maybe she wants to focus on celebrating her son's life and not necessarily divide her attention to look at wedding dresses. I can see how you would be frustrated and I don't mean to be offensive, but some things are bigger than weddings. Some things are bigger than shopping for dresses. If it is that important to you, then keep your shopping date. Your MIL and FSIL can make the decision if it's really important to them as well. However, I think you should be happy that they like you enough to want to be a part of this experience. Good luck on whatever you decide, but I just wanted to voice that I don't necessarily think your MIL or FSIL are being unreasonable.

I get what you say honestly I do! Most of his time will be spend with his FI and not really family first off and its not like they cant talk to him over the net or on the phone. He is free to call, email, and send letters. He is back for 2 weeks and I know for a fact he wont be home each day. All I was asking for was 2 afternoons and thats it. I scheduled this 3 weeks ago and then get a phone call today to change the dates. I would like them both there but I cant just up and change each thing with my wedding plans.