Stag n' Doe - to have, or not to have?

[Perplexy]

Gotcha *Heather*! My sentiments exactly - in some circumstances.

 

For me, the same goes for bridal showers and registries: "this is the gift I want you to buy me - so get it for me, or you can't come to my shower". Especially when the couple already has an established home together. BUT...that's a completely different thread, and I don't even want to get started on that!

 

JulieG, I agree with your perception on the small towns v. larger cities. *Heather* says she doesn't like stag n does, and she's from Toronto too. I'm wary of them (unless of course, the wedding costs nearly $50 or $60 grand, then I'm happy to spend money) and I'm from Mississauga. It's a money grab, but again, if your friends and family have the extra cash, and don't mind paying, it's all good.

 

What a condundrum!

[*Heather*]

I'm originally from London (ON), so we can't blame everything on Toronto But yeah, point remains the same!

[Perplexy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Heather* I'm originally from London (ON), so we can't blame everything on Toronto But yeah, point remains the same!

I lived in London for three years to go to school...

What a small world!

[JulieG]

I actually don`t live in Toronto anymore, I grew up in Barrie and have been back here for 2 years now, I just keep forgetting to change it on here.

[jawedding]

Have it!!

 

i'm not having one, but I AM having a shower, because my female friends and family Wanted to throw one ( I definitely did NOT ask for one), that said, you only get married once (at least you hope!), if you want to do something do it! I agree with everybody about the expense of even attending your wedding, etc., but I don't think it means you're TOTALLY obligated not to have a stag & doe or shower or whatever.. chances are, there are a LOT of people who would get a kick out of celebrating your impending wedding who are NOT going to be able to make it to the actual wedding,

 

SO here are my thoughts:

 

If you want it, HAVE IT!

make it cheap to get in!! REALLY cheap (like.. under 5 bucks)

have drinks be cheap

have tickets for prizes be optional to buy.

 

THIS WAY it can be a SUPER cheap night out for people.. yeah you'll make some money (maybe not thousands), but I've been to a ton of these (and people who go do not even necessarily know the couple well, but they are seriously just so fun to go to!).. have a band, and make it fun, and it ends up being a fun party for everybody! You get to celebrate your relationship with your nearest and dearest and you might make some money (or not, but if your thinking is that it'll be like an AHR, then who cares if you don't make a ton).

 

I know I'm prattling on.. im really tired.. but i say do it! just don't make it a shameless money-grubbing thing and it'll be awesome!

[Amarillis]

Our wedding party threw us one! It was AWESOME!!!! we did not have an AHR, and did not plan on having one.

 

In the end we made about $800 -- but it was awesome...

 

We had over 200 people come out, a live band, games and a ton of drinks and dancing. It was more of a party and less of a money maker, but it was an amazing send off to our wedding in Cuba!

 

I do not think it is tacky at all -- the majority of the people that came out were local friends, many of whom weren't invited to the wedding -- it was nice to see everyone too!

 

In our community stag and doe's are attended by EVERYONE! it is just a great reason to dance and have a party (our community doesn't even have a local bar -- backyard parties are the norm, so to even have a DJ, it's a big deal....lol)

 

Our ticket -- created by my sister's friend

 

Our arrival

 

later we changed into tropical clothes

 

our massive painting -- it now hangs in our rec room

 

DH and I lookin' SNAZZIE!

[Sloan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JulieG Please do not take any offense to this, but it says you are from Ingersoll, if that is the case, the smaller the town the more acceptable it is for some reason, people just love to go out and party and it does not matter what its for, DH is from Brussels and its the same thing, anywhere in Huron County can have a Buck and Doe on a holiday (last one was on Good Friday) and they still have a huge turn out and make money. I really do think it matters where you live and the age group of the people being invited. In bigger cities its not as well attended and people seem to be a lot more opinionated when you are having a DW and they are not attending it and are expected to spend money or are attending it and are expected to spend MORE money.

No offense taken from JulieG or Heather!

Im actually from London, ON. I just unfortunately live with DH in Ingersoll... blah.

Tacky or not, we had one and it was actually a good time! To each their own, right? And yeah, I agree that the smaller the community, the more popular Buck n' Does are. Not too many of my London friends have them.

[natashakc]

Ahhh...gotta love the Stag & Doe/ Buck & Doe!!!

They are a Big-Time Canadaian, and especially Onatrio based thing. I don't think they do them at all in the states.

 

Our wedding party is throwing one for us, though my fiance and In are quite involved in the planning. I don't think it's tacky at all-it's not like a stag and doe is a small party for just the guests comign to your wedding! EVERYONE and their dog comes because it's a cheap party-where else can you go out for the night with tons of people, have great music, cheap booze, and a midnight lunch??

 

It's a fabulous idea and a great opportunity to make anywhere from $5000-10,000!

[jennie]

We had a "Jack and Jill" party. It's the same thing as a Stag and Doe, etc... Guess it's called this in USA. Anyways, we threw it ourselves about 2 months before we will be getting married. I say go for it!! We were able to raise some cash to go towards our wedding and had great fun with family and friends. If you really think about it, it's really no different than expecting people that attend your traditional wedding ceremonies back home to place a monetary gift in a card or buy from a pre picked out registry of wedding gifts. Guests would typicaly donate towards you as a couple one way or another, so why the hell not have a blast at a party? We had a raffle with prizes, a DJ, food, and on and on. It was a nice way to get everyone together to see us before we head off on our DW.

Good luck!

[red789]

Im from a small community as well, most people have Jack n Jills. No one really sees it as a money grab, more or less a chance to a huge party. Ppl from small towns love any excuse for everyone to get together, drink and have a good time.

 

We will be having one, we are also haveing AHR.