So sad and confused!

[SDSteph]

I am so pissed! My FI just spoke to his grandmother and she is giveing us the guilt trip and is crying about not wanting us to get married in mexico. She said she and grandpa wont come and many other wont come because they cant afford it. What about us, we cant afford a freaking wedding in the states. =( I adore her and the rest of my family but everyone is only thinking of themself. We want this wedding so that we can spend time with our family other than five minutes at a reception dinner in which we thank them for spending a huge amount of money to travel to a stupid place and visit with us between the music other people waiting to talk to us. I am sooooooo frustrated. We have been researching resorts in PDC for a month now. I know we can change it but I am sick of trying to make everyone happy! =( All I want is some great time with my friends and family before it is too late. I am the baby in my family of all of the cousins, and I have not seen my relatives in like 5 years. I ABSOLUTLY do not want to just see them for a few minutes at a stupid reception. UGGG I don't know what to do.

[KimmyG]

It's impossible to please everyone, you have to do what YOU and your FI want and that's the bottom line. You can still make it special for your grandmother and grandpa: invite them to your legal day when you get married in the courthouse at home. Most people don't invite or tell anyone about it (to keep the focus on the dw) but it might mean a lot to them and to you if you invite them there.

[~*Lisa*~]

It's never easy to please everyone. We ran into the same problem with FI's grandmother who is 89. She was pissed and upset that we were going away, even more pissed that it wasn't going to be a catholic wedding (I am catholic but the FI is not, shouldn't she understand that?!). Anyway, she's so old that even if we had a wedding here, she wouldn't stay very long. Why give up something that we want for 1 person?? We'll be going to Jamaica to get married and having something really special with her when we get back. Maybe you can do something like that? Good luck!

[mmontgo]

The problem with wedding planning is exactly what everyone on here is saying.......you try but no matter how hard you try you will never please everyone! Once you accept that fact trust me when I tell you the negative comments and annoying questions will easily roll off your back. The best advice i can give you is to continue planning your wedding the way you want it. You will end up regretting it if you try and rearrange your plans based on someone else's needs.

Good Luck!

[tylersgirl]

I am with Kimmy. That is what we are planning on doing. FI's grandmother cried too, but we just explained to her that she will be at our legal ceremony and she will be at the AHR and we will have a slideshow of our PDC wedding pics. Just tell her that and if she doesn't like it-oh well. This is y'alls wedding, not hers. I have come to realize that you cannot please everyone so please remember that!

[svetayasofiya]

I went through (am going through) the same thing with my finacée's family. My family is all on board because I live in Mtl. and they all live in BC or Alta., so would have to travel anyway... My fiancée's family is all here and gave us a bit of a hard time when we first mentioned the Mexico thing. Reality is, we can NOT afford a local wedding. As it is the Mexico thing is costing way more than anticipated. We will not be having an AHR even though there is pressure for us to do so. My thoughts are if you can't afford to go, we totally understand, but why should we shell out thousands of dollars to throw a party for them after? No way! My fiancée still has two grandma's and a grandpa all in their 80's. One couple apparently is planning to come :s *Not sure how that will work... but the other grandma is apparently upset that we sent out the 'save the dates' via email, and because she does not have an email she is finding out about it through the rest of the family. Puhleeeeeease. You are never going to please everyone. Think of who the most important people are (besides you and your fiancée) and work with them accordingly. For me, obviously if it was not going to work out with my parents or the fiancée's parents, then we would be planning a very diff. wedding.... as long as I have my mom and dad and the inlaws, everyone else you who comes imo is a bonus.

Don't lose focus! These are not the days of our parents when it is the parents who organise everything and call the shots. We live very diff. and independent lives and if it's your dream to have a DW don't let anyone stand in the way.

 

Good Luck!

[sunstarsmoon]

I think we all have one or many in our family that give us the guilt trip. You have to do what you want to do. I know for me I would not be happy if I did not have a beach wedding and would regret it all my life. So do whats in your heart. Maybe you could do some type of a small reception when you got home and showed the video etc.

[SDSteph]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful feed back. We live in Las Vegas so many family member want to do it here. I hate the idea of a wedding here, no offense to those who are getting married here. Its just if we marry here we will never get to see anyone, everyone will have thier own agenda, gambling, shows, you get the point. So I think we decided last night to set a weekend afetr the wedding that everyone can come into their presious little vegas and see us if they dont want to travel to mexico. We might have a dinner at one of the restraunts in the back room but I am not paying for it. That might be rube but the wedding and trip is about being together not getting something for free =)

 

Thanks again for listining to me vent last night. I was in tears and now feel alot better.

[~*Lisa*~]

Ah I'm so glad that you figured out what you will do. I was in tears many weeks for the crap we went through so I totally understand how you feel. People only bitch because they have to pay to go to the wedding. If it was in town, it would be free, but cost you guys WAY too much. People don't understand that sometimes. They think it's free - to them yeah, but they forget who actually pays. Anyways, I'm glad that you feel better!

[Celina]

I think the majority of us have walked down this road. Stick to your guns. Have your DW and if an AHR is in your budget, have one. Hopefully people will understand. Good luck!