venting about travel arrangements

KJT1985 · June 19, 2009

First off let me say that I feel a little bit guilty venting about this. I absolutely adore my future in laws and think the world of them. It's also probably not as big of a deal as i'm making it and I should just go with the flow.

I've been in contact with a TA about travel arrangements and so on. We got a group quote from her for 3 nights and my fiance and I decided against it since it was a risk for us to have to put the deposit down on 10 rooms. We're fairly sure we could get that many booked but weren't 100% considering we'd lose $3,000 in deposit money if we couldn't. We sent out STDs with our TAs info on it so people could contact her if they wanted to. His family lives in Canada and I understand why they wouldn't necessarily use our TA here in the states but now his mom is getting group quotes for a week AND including us in on it! She seems to think that we're going to book with them (which would sort of be nice because group rates sometimes allow either the bride or groom to stay free). BUT I feel terrible just dropping the other TA AND my FMIL didn't even check dates with me and picked the wrong ones. I say wrong ones but she's only off by a day - we were planning on taking a cruise the second week and it doesn't leave till 2 days after the last day of her quote. I understand that it can probably be easily changed. But she already sent out a group email to all prospective guests.

Now I feel like we're faced with the decision to book with them because it might save us money while I have to drop our TA who i've been in personal contact with and knows our plans OR we have to tell his parents that we aren't booking with them. I understand the Canadians booking together - it's what I expected. I'm just upset that they threw us in there without asking. This TA in Canada hasn't talked to us about what we want, doesn't know that i've reserved the wedding date or that we want to take the cruise after. And what will it look like if guests in the States call our TA and she tells them that she's no longer working with us?

I know this is dumb and i'm probably only mad because I feel like she's taking over when I really should just be glad somebody else is dealing with all the arrangements.

Do group rates mean a block of rooms where we'll all be together? Cause I kinda don't want that either....

KJT1985 · June 19, 2009

well I feel silly now. My FMIL just emailed me and said that even if we're not booked through the group rate we can still get the discount from it Guess I should have just kept my mouth shut...

BBtoB · June 19, 2009

You are totally fine! This is your wedding and sometimes you need to take control of things. Especially when it comes to booking. When my FMIL talked to her TA, I still was doing research and found better deals and in the end I had everyone book through my TA. Everyone was happy, they had the option of booking through whoever they wanted, but I just took control and said, "here are the prices, and here is his contact info." We did not get any special freebie deals, so that takes the pressure off. If you want to book, book. Don't feel bad for wanting that control. This is a big deal and you have to feel comfortbale and the arrangements have to work with your other plans. I would not be shy about just saying, thanks for all the info and planning for you fam (especially since they are in another country) but let her know you would rather book with your TA, if that is your decision. You would hate to regret not going with your gut and going with her if you truly want to book with your TA.

It may work to have your TA in the States and the other in Canada. It seems they are some variances on travel polices that I have noticed from all the Swine flu issues. This could work to your benefit. Just stick to your guns, but in a respectful way and it should all work out. Hugs!

Best! Congrats and good luck!

Nonnie · June 20, 2009

I am wondering if your FMIL is so gung-ho about doing this is because she feels it is one way to help, and being in Canada there are not a lot of other things she can help with. She sounds like my mom, full of energy and passion and eager to jump in there, but not very good at checking in with those she wants to help.

I would email or phone your FMIL and thank her for her efforts, but explain your concerns. Tell her what it is you had planned to make your wedding time special for you (the cruise etc) and the date you chose. Also explain that you have a TA you already started dealing with in the states. Explain to her that you are glad to have her help organize stuff for the Canadians, but (depending what you decide) you feel better dealing with the TA you have already contacted and who is closer to home.

Good luck, she sounds like she means well so keep that in mind.

YoursTruly · June 21, 2009

I would let her know thanks for the help but you have it covered for your own arrangements. DO you have to be in the islands a certain number of days prior to your wedding? SO that is probably another good reason why you MUST book your own arrangements. Good luck to you!