We've all been there

[NATASHA]

One of the young women in my office is getting married. They just picked a venue and a date last weekend. She came to me tonight looking for advice. It's technically a DW as most guests will be traveling (as will she and her FI). Also, she is the first of her friends to get married.

 

So, I was trying to explain room block issues to her (what to negotiate in the contract, what gets added in at the last minute relative to the penalities if you have guests who flake or who don't try to book their room until the week before) and she kept saying, "Oh - that won't be a problem. Our guests will do their flights and hotel really early."

 

She's already booked a $6000 photographer, has the vision of what her flowers are going to be like, is interviewing bands, has the trio booked, etc. It's really cute - but so not going to even come close to the budget that she's targeting (and she's already entering into contracts before she has a spreadsheet going).

 

It's nice to see her fresh and clean and her unbridled enthusiasm. It's also funny to anticipate how frazzled she's going to be when she comes in my office next year and says, "I can't believe my mom's cousin is sticking me with a $200 room fee bill!"

 

Well - we all went through it. We all thought there was no way we were going to argue with our FIs about anything related to OUR wedding. That surely it didn't cost that much to put together a wedding. That our friends and family would all get along and they wouldn't come up and ask me (the bride) to take them to the airport THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING as I'm trying to get my errands done so they could get a rental car even though I told them before we left that they would want one so they should!

 

 

I'm so glad I'm married now.

[gkashmira]

Amen!

 

I remember when I thought I could have my wedding for a 1/3 of what it actually is costing... sigh... those were the days!

[NATASHA]

I know - her response was, "well, we're not paying for the wedding so if we're over budget it shouldn't be a problem." There is no way to explain the drama that will go on for a year throughout this process when you don't have your eye on that ball!

[gkashmira]

I have to say, i wouldn't trade places with her for anything!

[tvt]

Yikes, that is risky business! How can you sign contracts without a budget outlined!!! That's just plain crazy. Good luck to her.

 

PS... Are you saying I will fight with my FI about the wedding...?? That's just not going to happen hehehehe

[NATASHA]

Yep - her backup plan is to go to her grandparents if she gets over budget.

 

She's a very sweet person, she's just one week into planning. Yeah - the signing of contracts is scary. Not just because of the budget issue, but there is so much to learn about how to negotiate and you only learn as you meet with multiple vendors.

 

Lesson for the newbies on the board - it's ok to plan early, but meet with tons of people before you sign that contract!

[soulmates]

I hate to be in her shoes right now!!! Good luck to her.

[A10CalGal]

Oh wow, that's cute! And I agree, I wouldn't trade places with her for anything.

[JaimeLynne]

Oh no - poor girl! That makes me nervous about planning our wedding. We are estimating around 10k, not including rings or dress. Maybe 15k w/outside photographer. Hoping for less but trying to think realistically and hoping we don't have our heads in the sand!

[Rachelle E.]

Yeah, I think every bride starts out a little naive. I remember my parents giving me 10k for my wedding....yeah, that went FAST! But luckily we only went over budget a little....like 1500. It could have been much worse! And somehow we managed to pull off a 145 person wedding here in Texas! I'm actually a little proud of myself when I think about it! Lol!

 

Jaime...don't freak out. I think you can do your wedding for 10-15k. You'll just have to be careful and really prioritize things along the way. Also the size of your guest list will really play into that. But you can do it!! :-)