Advice needed :-)

[Tilly in the Sun]

Hi all!

 

I was hoping that I could get some advice/opinions on a touchy subject.

 

My FI got laid off earlier this year, and last week my full time position was cut to 2 days a month. (yay recession lol) Needless to say we are pretty stressed out about our DW next May and our AHR in June.

 

Fortunately we were able to save enough to cover the trip, but won't have enough to pay for a photographer. After looking at some amazing pictures and videos on here, it is something that I really want to be included in our day.

 

The dilemma is this....would it be extremely rude and inappropriate for me to ask that my shower gifts be a donation to get a photographer? I have never been keen on the idea of even having a shower in the first place, but it something that my aunts/friends have basically convinced me to have, and I just don't really know the etiquette on how to ask for gifts, and if that is something that is way out of line to even ask for.

 

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

[cantwait2718]

People register for their honeymoon Y not your photographer u could put a card in the shower thing that says :

Help our day be picture perfect we r registered with ..... for photogaphy.

or something. My wedding coodinator sent me a website called the wishingwell.com. U should check it out it 's another way,.

[foxytv]

We registered at stores and also at an online honeymoon site, which basically provided money. Check out Honeymoon Wishes - Honeymoon Bridal Registry your wedding gift is the perfect honeymoon, which is the site we used. That way, ppl can buy you different things towards your wedding, but you can actually use the money as you see fit.

 

Where are you getting married? Every resort has photogs on site that are more affordable then hiring your own oftentimes, or you can find off-site photogs in your resort city w/o having to pay travel costs. Do you have any friends who are amateur or pro photogs who might be able to help you out?

[rodent]

Some photographers have a registry on their site. Do you have someone in mind? maybe you can check with them about putting an option for gift cards on their site.

[FutureMrsSharpe]

I don't see why asking for help paying for the photographer would be a big deal. A co-worker of mine got married in December, right after Christmas and she wasn't going to have money to pay to have her hair and make-up done. She ended up just asking us girls at work if we would chip in a buy her a gift card to a salon as a bridal shower gift. It worked out great for us...no hassel trying to figure out the registery!

[JOSIE]

I think your idea is fabulous. Every girl needs to have a photographer at her wedding and I can't imagine you not having one because of the terrible economy. I would talk the people throwing your shower and explain your situation and ask for their help incorporating the invites, etc to specify that the gift that is MOST important to you is your wedding photos.

 

A friend of mine had a shower and all the female relatives on her side split her wedding photography because they knew how stressed out she was over it. If you round up enough people, it ends up only costing a little per guest anyway, the same as they would spend on a gift.

 

I know your family/friends can figure out how to approach it tactfully and surely everyone would understand! best wishes Keep us posted!

[*Nadine*]

I think Josie nailed it with her response. Sorry to hear what you guys are going through, but things always have a way of working themselves out in the end. I truly believe that.

Good luck and definitely keep us posted!!

[Tilly in the Sun]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cantwait2718 People register for their honeymoon Y not your photographer u could put a card in the shower thing that says : Help our day be picture perfect we r registered with ..... for photogaphy. or something. My wedding coodinator sent me a website called the wishingwell.com. U should check it out it 's another way,.

That is such a good idea to say it like that!!

[jennie]

I agree with everyone. Why not? The whole point of registering for things is to receive the items that you would like. If what you would like to enjoy is a great photographer, then why not.

Hope things get better for the both of you.

Now you need to focus on chosing a photographer and seeing if their site has a registry or I do like the wording of the first reply to this post.

Don't stress! The whole point of a DW is to keep things simple and nice.

We too, are only "splurging" for a good photographer while in Jamaica. The rest we will keep simple and nice. This is your day! Everyone unfortunately understands now a days the financial constraints we all have. They will probably apprecaite you being up front as to what you two could REALLY need instead of having the pressure of trying to find some type of gift that may suit you.

[Tilly in the Sun]

Thank you guys for all your great advice and comments...I am still new to this forum, but can already see how awesome and helpful everyone is on here!!

It is definitely a hard time for us, and cdnv I 100% agree that things have a way of working themselves out. I guess it is just an uncomfortable feeling to ask your guests for a gift in the first place, when most of them are already spending so much to come to the wedding.

I am going to do some more research on photographers and see if I can get a gift card for one that I like. We are going to Cuba, but haven't picked the resort yet (next month we make the big decision!! ) so when we do that I can hopefully look at some of the resorts on-site photogs.

Thanks so much again...I am feeling better about it already...you guys are amazing!!