Grrr, drama again!

leogurl · May 7, 2009

I swear that every time one issue resolves itself, a new issue begins.

My FI is constantly getting into fights with his BFF who is also his Best Man. Right before we got engaged, the BFF flaked out on my FI's bday. I bought tix for 10 for a holiday party bus (they take us to different bars, clubs, and even a couple strip clubs). My FI selected 8 people to go, but he had no idea what we were doing, as it was a surprise for him. The day of the event the BFF and his girlfriend decide it's not well-organized, and the bus leaves before they can get there. I sent out many e-mails and texts and encouraged them to ask me questions if they had any. Well, my FI is the kind of guy who playfully tries to get his surprise out of people. His BFF told him 4 days before we went. My FI acted like he had no idea though, for my benefit. Sooo mad. They work together, so I guess at work BFF was telling the other guys at work that if he ended up having to pay for his tix, he would kick me in the crotch. He tries to be a funny guy, but I don't think that's funny, it just shows me how cheap he is and how much he didn't want to go.

A week and a half later, we got engaged. He asked everyone to be in the wedding except BFF, and asked his brother to be his best man. Well, eventually BFF and FI made up, and somehow BFF misinterpretted their make-up talk to mean that he is in the wedding. He seemed so excited and happy to go, and BFF was telling everyone at this bday party we were at, so I just told my FI to just let him be in the wedding, but to beware. So my FI was so happy to have his BFF back that he made him a second Best Man. I told him that was a bad idea, and I think the idea is lame, but he wanted it that way, so I went with it.

They have had some conflicts since, and the latest has got me so tired, I don't know what to believe. We have an annual camping trip we take with our friends in the summer, and this year BFF wants to organize it. Well, my FI invited someone (call him George) who BFF does not like (they all work together) and he got mad at FI and threw a tantrum the whole day while work yesterday. Plus they carpooled, so it continued. I know that BFF was upset that FI invited George last year, and the girlfriend also does not like George. I completely understand both BFF's side and my FI's side, but I think their fighting is ridiculous. This could easily be resolved if they talked, but instead BFF has to open his mouth and make things worse. Apparently FI's brother was not going to be invited, because BFF's girlfriend hates him. Not a good thing to tell my FI because family is really, really important to him and his culture. George was not going to be invited because last year he was making BFF's girlfriend feel uncomfortable because he looked at her weird. And the best one, BFF's girlfriend says I don't dress well, and so it's not surprise that my wedding colors are ugly. I have found over the past three years, that anytime BFF is scared to say something, he blames it on his girlfriend, and he has not problem making her look like a bitch or an idiot. My FI is mad at him but now he hates BFF's girlfriend because of what she said about me and for hating his brother. I happen to know she does dislike his brother, but I've never thought it would be so bad that she would refuse to go camping because he'll be there, and BTW, I like how I dress. And she does not dress well herself, so I cannot see her saying that about me. Like it's really weird. I don't know whether this is another case of BFF putting it on her. I do consider her a good friend, and I'm always up for confronting people, but I'm not sure if I should get involved considering this is between my FI and his friend. I don't know if I should try to have a conversation with BFF, if I should call up his girlfriend and ask her why she's saying stuff, or what. Last time I didn't get involved, and they worked it out after a couple months, but I am still holding on to the comment BFF made about kicking me in the crotch. Any objective advice for me?

Kat81 · May 7, 2009

If you consider his gf a good friend, I would talk to her about it. If she is saying that stuff she is probably saying it in private to her bf and would want to know if he is running is mouth to everyone. If she isn't saying any of that stuff then I am sure she would want to know as well. I know I say some things to my DH about people sometimes but I don't expect him to run to their bf/gf and rat me out ya know? And I would be super pissed if my DH was blaming me for things I didn't do. Either way I say have a conversation with her.

lgarner83 · May 10, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81

If you consider his gf a good friend, I would talk to her about it. If she is saying that stuff she is probably saying it in private to her bf and would want to know if he is running is mouth to everyone. If she isn't saying any of that stuff then I am sure she would want to know as well. I know I say some things to my DH about people sometimes but I don't expect him to run to their bf/gf and rat me out ya know? And I would be super pissed if my DH was blaming me for things I didn't do. Either way I say have a conversation with her.

I agree. It might even be a good idea to get the four of you together and lay everything out on the table. BFF sounds like a drama king and doesn't like it when he's not the centre of attention. Try and talk it out altogether and if he throws a tantrum then he's out!