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My mother always told me there would be days like these...


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I just wish she had told me how many... In case you haven't guessed, I'm having a bad day... Side note: Auntie from the Red River Valley is arriving this weekend. Yuck. So forgive me if I'm a little over-emotional.

 

Okay, so I go to the doctor today and for a second time, explain the whole "I can't lose weight, WTF is going on?" and he adds thyroid function tests to my already ridiculous list of bloodwork to be done. No big deal, glad he's finally checking for that. Then, I tell him how my ankles have been swelling like balloons since I took anaprox over two months ago. He adds kidney-function tests to the list. Again, glad it's being checked. So, being the stupid female that I am, I ask if I can step on the scale and check my weight. BIG MISTAKE! Swollen ankles and all, I'm 50 lbs over what I thought I was. DEVASTATED! Abso-f*ckin-lutely devastated! So I silently freak out the whole day, and then FFIL asks about the Dr.'s appointment today. I tell him about how I may have asthma, and I need a pulmonary function test done, along with a multitude of bloodwork, thyroid test and kidney function. During the asthma talk, I mention how the Dr. thought maybe my shortness of breath was due to being overweight.

He replies with: "Well, how much weight do you figure you have to lose?"

Me: "I'd say 160lbs at least."

Him: "Well, you're just going to have to go for a walk every day, stop eating junk and eat regular meals."

 

Yeah, because it's THAT censored.gif easy!!! If it was that easy, wouldn't we all be the perfect size?!? He KNOWS that I've gone through HELL with my weight. I was on the basketball team all through High School, didn't lose a pound. I was a vegetarian for over two years, didn't lose a pound. Took the stairs (4 flights) at school every day for three years, didn't lose a pound. If it was that easy, I would have at least lost FIVE pounds during any of those periods, but I didn't lose ONE! Not ONE! 280lbs as long as I can remember, no change, and now all of a sudden I'm 329! WTF happened? I know it's likely because of the fluid, but my clothes still fit, they're just a little tight, but not 50lbs tight. Why gain weight now? This fluid, along with a blistered toe on each foot, doesn't exactly make it easy to lose weight. I didn't gain this overnight, and I sure as hell can't lose it overnight either! I'm trying to pick what's left of my self-esteem up off the floor and get motivated to try and lose some of this weight, and then I get "Oh, well eat regular meals and go for a walk."

 

stfu.gif I'm going to go eat my weight in chocolate...

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I struggle with my weight too, but it is good you are getting everything checked out because, regardless of feeling bad, that is something that should not happen... Don't get yourself upset, just be your own advocate and find out why these things are happening to your body! With proper health, the weight will come off, but taking care of the health part is first... it will get better, don't be upset... just take care of yourself!!! )PS, I love how in high school when I was a size 14 my older skinny-ass brother would say "Just drink water" as he chowed down McDonalds!! Don't let it get to you.... health first, then the weight will work itself out!

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people who don't struggle with weight issues always think the solution is simple. *sometimes* it is, but for many people it just ISN'T!!! it's not like everyone who is overweight is that way because they sit around eating mcdonalds and ice cream on the hour! some of us diet, some of us even diet AND exercise! i am SO glad you are getting all your bloodwork done as well as the thyroid and liver function tests. it is so very important!

 

please don't let the "big scary number" upset you too much. it is just a number after all. the most important thing is your health ... shortness of breath, the stress the extra weight is putting on your heart ... *those* are the kinds of things you should be most concerned with, as well as your emotional well-being.

 

at least your doctor is running tests ... the last time i saw mine he told me i should just look into gastric bypass or lapband, since i obviously was having so much trouble doing it on my own. yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, jerkoff!

 

best wishes for getting to the bottom of *whatever* the underlying issue is! here's to your health!

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FFIL has had about 2% body fat his entire life, so he thinks a good, brisk walk up Signal Hill will make the pounds just melt off. Sorry buddy, been there, done that. I agree that eating well and exercising is important, and I actually eat really well, but exercise gets a LITTLE difficult when you can't breathe. I need a puffer just to get up two flights of stairs at school.

 

I am worried about my health though, and this is a change I've wanted to make for a long time. It's just frustrating to hear from someone who has never been overweight and have them think it's just me being lazy and not wanting to change.

 

*sigh* Thanks for listening ladies. And thanks for the well wishes :)

 

 

And if my doctor said "Oh, you should just get surgery" I think I'd have to strangle him...

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