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how to ask or suggest for only money as a wedding gift


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We have many people that cannot come to the wedding! We are constantly getting the question "Are you registered"? We are in the same boat, we already live together and the things we need are not things you can usually put on a registry. My solution was to go ahead and register at several stores that have things we could use (like new nicer pans, cooking items, outdoor entertaining items, etc).

 

I also registered with wwwhoneymoonwishes.com. I found this site from a post on this site. It is a site you can register for unique items but you get the cash. We registered for things like flowers in our wedding suite and honeymoon suite, spa treatments, snacks in the room, wine in the room, local shows (honeymoon will be in vegas), helicopter tours and other unique items that we will probably do but if someone wants to help out, that is great. I also added a Shopping section that actually lists some unique stores in our area they can go to if they want or give us the money to go to them - they are stores we like to shop at like wine and art stores. If we get money for any of these things, we will make sure they get done because we will probably do it anyway.

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I have to agree with everyone who says not to put anything about gifts on your invitations. We have on our wedding website "Your presence is our present" but a few people have sent us engagement gifts. The way I see it, if people want to give you a gift, you say thank you, and if you don't need it, return it and take the cash.

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I am not old-fashioned by any means, but I do think it is tacky and rude to request money as a wedding gift. Most people will take the hint when they find out you are not registered anywhere. Those who are close to you (or who really care what you want) will take it upon themselves to ask you or your parents if you need anything in particular. Then it can be stressed that "you do not need anything" which leaves most guests to do the safe thing and give cash.

Money trees, money poems, multiple registry cards stuck in invitations, bride ransoms, ect......just all scream GREEDY.

There is a great site called ettiquette hell with pages of horror stories dedicated to this and other wedding issues.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It's totally tacky to ask for money...whether it's straight forward, or in a cute poem...either way it's asking for money! You might end up with guests thinking it's totally rude! DON'T DO IT! Also, your close friends and family know that you've lived together for quite some time...I'm sure they've all been over your place and can clearly see you have everything you need...so I doubt they'll be giving you another set of mixing bowls!! We're just saying "your presence is present enough!" as we don't want gifts either! If our guests want to give us something...whether it's money or mixing bowls..we'll be grateful either way! Just please don't REQUEST MONEY! If I got your invite I'd be like..."Um, are you kidding me? Isn't traveling hundreds of miles to share in their day enough?" Even though I'd still give a gift...honestly, I'd give you a tacky picture frame just to be annoying :) Haha.

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We registered for literally about 15 or so items via myregistry.com. It allows you to register for absolutely anything. We put a few things that could use replacing on there (tea kettle, towels, etc.), some items we still want and finished it up with a listing for gift cards to Home Depot to go toward a new lawn mower and stuff to do some remodelling. In the end, the ladies are right - including any registry info in your invite is inappropriate and asking for cash will likely put off quite a few people and you'll get lots of tacky picture frames of your guests like Sandra said. LOL!

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  • 1 month later...

We had a honeymoon registry and my FMIL flipped her lid at the idea. We didn't include anything in the invites about a registry but we are requesting no gifts when people ask where we are registred.

We've set up a bank account that guests can contribute to for a downpayment on our house and put a note on our website about it. It's asking for money in a way, but we don't need "stuff" for a house if we don't have one. We ABSOLUTELY don't want gifts and I want to make that very clear because I got more than I could ever want/need from my shower and if people want to give...we would appreciate the money more than anything.

tacky or not it is what it is...they asked and we answered.

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