Wedding Vent!!!!

[NABUMBAH]

I agree with Christa.

 

It seems like Erik always has an excuse for why something won't work. Are you certain that he's 100% invested getting married? I hate to be the one to say it, but it seems like he's been putting up roadblocks the whole way. I would hate to see you get hurt in this situation.

 

I am just speaking from my experience, but I know that my husband and I went through a lot, including calling it off once, before we finally made the decision to go through with it and do it in Cabo. And once we did, he was there for every major decision, even if only in support, but often times he was making the decisions with me. Because it was important to him that the day reflected him, and US through his eyes. (does that make sense??)

 

Beyond that, this is a really important and challenging period in your relationship and it also really is going to set boundaries for the future of your relationship with your MIL. If he isn't willing to go to bat for you now that's a major red flag in my book. It implies that either he's not willing to make your feelings a priority, or perhaps he just doesn't care enough to deal with it. Either way, it seems like now would be a GREAT time to sit down and have a serious talk with him about your future. And I would not bring up the wedding, rather I would focus on talking about your future plans and what the two of you really want from your relationship. If you find that you have mutual goals and then maybe there's something else that's holding him back. Perhaps it's the fear of committing for the rest of your life - I know that was a HUGE fear of mine.

 

I know that weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of your life, blah, blah. But what truly matters is the commitment that you make.

Not the hooplah. A million dollar blowout wedding isn't going to make things any better, or make you two any happier if you're not 100% sure.

 

I think I am rambling now, and I don't want to come off as bitchy, I just feel a bit skeptical. I've watched you jump into planning and projects since you have been on this board, and I don't think I've heard you say that your FH has been on board for any of it. I really do wish the best for you so of course, take my advice with a grain of salt. These are just my outsider observations.

[Sarah]

Very intuitive, wise advice Natasha. I've wondered the same thing myself as I've read Andrea's posts- you're not alone, you're just braver than I! But, that's what this forum is all about- being honest and looking out for eachother. With that said, I endorse and agree with your post, I couldn't have said it better. Andrea, we care about you and just want the best for you- I think it's time for a talk with Erik.

[JENESIS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tlseege I'm proud of you Drea. Just be careful. She needs to know that Erik is backing you up on this, otherwise she might start to have ill feelings towards you which could lead to even more problems in the future. Could you guys talk to her together?

I have to second this. If you go at this alone, it will look like you are the bad guy and what you are saying is not what Erik wants.

He needs to be next to you to at least say that he agrees with you.

[DreaW]

ERIK'S TALKING TO HIS MOM RIGHT NOW!!!!

[*JillD*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DREA14369 ERIK'S TALKING TO HIS MOM RIGHT NOW!!!!

Thats great Andrea! Because I was going to agree with the other girls that he really needed to talk to his mom, not you. Let us know how it goes.

[DreaW]

he's arguing with her....cross your fingers it goes well.

Both of them understanding.

I'm sooooo glad that I'm not doing this

[*JillD*]

Good, I'm glad he's sticking up for the two of you and your decisions! I know you must be happy you're not the one arguing with her right now, haha! I think it would be even harder for you to argue with her because you wouldn't want to offend her or step on any toes. I hope everything works out!

[calyx6]

Ok, so it's been 45 minutes since our last update. This is like a mini soap opera. I am so addicted. But seriously, I'm glad he stepped up and is talking to his mom. That's the way it should be since it is his mother and it shouldn't be your responsibility. I'm really hoping things will be easier for you after this convo.

 

-V-

[DreaW]

ok update:

 

 

 

 

So Erik just got off the phone with his mother....they were arguing back and forth and he kept telling her to calm down and listen. Well long story short he asked her to really sit down to think who she really wanted to have there at the wedding. So they made a list of 14 people including Erik. Then Erik told me just to give his list 4 invitations...because his mother doesn't want to give the 14 guest all invitations otherwise other family members would think it would be her fault .... so I'm only giving her 4 invitations.

 

I'm so thankful he talked to her (and literally jumped all over him when he got off the phone and kissed him all over) because If I talked to her I know that she would have ripped me up to shreds.

 

 

ok Real UPDDATE:

She called again and added two more. So Erik told her to stop calling him and sit down and really really really think about her list and have her call him tonight with list.

 

Will UPDATE more later

 

ERIK WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING: I hate all of you and blame you for my misery, stop encouraging Andrea

[calyx6]

Yeaaaah! I'm really happy for you that he stepped up to the plate and stood up to his mom. Is Erik normally non-confrontational?

 

-V-