If they've already said "no" do I have to send an invite???

[Jules]

Thanks girls, I had this same question. There are some people I know for sure can't come because of health reasons and as I too am making invites by hand, making one less would be a time saver. We were planning on sending the AHR invites in the same envelope as the DW invites, but I think for certain ones we'll just send the AHR invite.

[Ottawa Bride]

I also say you should send invitations to those you sent STD to... I know that it's a lot of work and extra expense, but I think those people who were close enough to invite with a STD will appreciate the effort you put into making the invitations... I also would hope that it will help them feel a part of your day even though they weren't able to make it.

[marryinghimagain]

I am also wrestling with this question. On one hand, I don't want anyone (that has said they aren't coming) to feel like we "dropped them". On the other hand, since they have positively said they aren't coming, I don't want them to think we are badgering them to come or worse yet that we are "gift grubbing". I keep going back and forth about it. *sigh*

Well, I guess I wasn't much help to you, but I do understand.

[chloe55]

Hmm, it seems like I may be going against the grain here, but we're only sending formal invitations to our wedding to people we know are coming. Our invites will be pretty intricate and will have RSVPs to four of the events we've organized during the week of our wedding. I just feel like there isn't a need to send those kinds of things to the 100+ people we sent STDs to. Everyone will get an invite to our AHR though. Oh, and we're sending our invites out 6 weeks before the wedding, so I don't think we'll have to worry about people who change their mind not getting one. I would hope everyone who's coming would be booked by then!

[NyBeachBride]

my wedding is 4/18/10...i just ordered cheaper stds through vista print and i have 70 invited guest...but i am hopign for only 50...this was a tough one but i truly think not all 70 will come. i am hopign to send out expensive mesage in a bottle invites in sept to rsvp by 12/31/09. by then i should know whos goign and who isnt...so i wont spend extra $$ on expensive invites if they are truly not coming

[Duchess]

If you have done STD's then technically, you have invited them. That being said, I bought decent but cheap invites from Rexcraft that were seal and send (no extra cards and envelopes) and sent them to the entire list, because I do think it was the right thing to do. I just went with cheaper invites since I was sending out 100 invites and knew only 30 people were coming.

[Britni]

I am having a private ceremony in Jamaica (just FI and I). That said, do I send STDs for the large AHR we are having? And then a formal invitation? If so, when do I send these? If our wedding is in April '10 and the AHR is in May '10, what would the timing be if I needed to send both? Or is just the actual invite enough for the AHR??

 

Thanks!

[starchild]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marryinghimagain On the other hand, since they have positively said they aren't coming, I don't want them to think we are badgering them to come or worse yet that we are "gift grubbing".

This was my line of thought. I sort of made up my own etiquette I guess but a DW is not traditional, kwim? Our STD stuff was very detailed and said formal invites would follow to the 'yes' people a few months later.

As it turned out, nobody who said 'no' to the STD's changed their minds later and if they had, they knew how to contact us. Invitations can get expensive plus we had a lot of people who wanted to go but couldn't for various reasons, and I didn't want to make them feel bad twice, or make it seem like we were trying to twist their arm, if that makes sense.

[TammyWright]

invitations are expensive...at least ours were so no we did not send them to everyone.

 

we did send them to family and close friends but if co-workers/acquantances already told me they were not going to make it, i didn't send them an invite.

[niujess]

We're sending ours to immediate family that have said no, but friends and extended family members will not get invitations since I'm hand making them and it's pointless to spend all that time and money on them.