Uninvited Guests

[Hartyt509]

I'm sorry you need to say sorry they aren't invited. Stay at the hotel I don't care but I am not paying for you to attend my wedding so sorry.

 

Stand up for yourself. I have one coming that isn't invited but I've sucked that up because she has filled in my friend's ex husband's place so it was something I was already paying for in any event.

[Prettyhazardous]

Wow I think so many of us DW brides have this issue. My issue wasnt that I didnt like these ppl just that I don't know them. So I made a fee that they would have to pay to attend the wedding. If I were in ur situation I would def not invite them to the wedding. But I would also express my concerns to the persons inviting them. I'd really be pissed to spend my wedding vacay with 2 of my FI's exes. I think you need to put ur foot down, that is totally unacceptable.

[Marie]

I don't wanna stress myself out over it---I really dont...one day you have a perfect guest list, then the next-- you have and additional 10 people.....another friend of mine who I invited just approached me and asked if she could taker her sister along........its hard being put on the spot-but at least she asked how I felt........I told her to take her along to the resort, and sure, join the wedding party--but in this case, its my friends "guest" joining...not randoms.......

 

It's just hard to grasp that there may be people Ive went out of my way to avoid that are now going to be on a resort with me for a week...I know--I know...suck it up--get over it......just irritates the hell out of me.........lol

[Hartyt509]

If it makes you feel better i've spent the last 6 years avoiding FMIL and i'm stuck with that cow for 2 weeks lol you aren't alone x

[angieanderson]

I had to deal with the same situation earlier this morning! My fiance found out that one of our guests had invited two other people to OUR wedding! Unfortunately, we only live about an hour and a half away from the wedding site, so it's a bit easier for those uninvited guests to make it through. Mehhh.

 

Anyway, I know you don't want to look like a bitch and tell people no. But it does sort of put a damper on the festivities, knowing that people that YOU personally didn't invite are there, lurking in the background. Maybe you and your FI can personally call these people who are inviting others and put on a cap on it.

 

Or you can use this to your advantage and flaunt your newly acquired bling around the ex-gf.......

[purrfected]

OMG is so good to hear that I am not the only one dealing with this..I have one friend who is bringing two other couples...WTF!!! I am also hosting a welcome BBQ that I have to pay for on a per person basis.

 

Last week my ex asked if he could come because he is good friends with my male cousin....NOT!!! There should be some sort of rule, no exes at the wedding. I hope you are able to put a stop to the ex coming to your event. That really sucks!

 

Harty, LMAO that you are counting FMIL as one of the guests that you don't want to attend! I hear you girl!

[AnnaC]

I'm running into a similiar situation. Almost everytime I talk to my mother she mentions so and so who I haven't seen or talked to in 10 years wants to come to your wedding. My brother also wants to invite a bunch of his friends.

 

My response is always the same- they are welcome to come to Jamaica and take advantage of the group rate, however, they cannot attend the ceremony or reception.

[jenninjamaica]

So far I haven't run into this problem *fingers crossed*, but if it was me I would make it clear that only the people my Fiance and I invited are going to be included in the wedding and any planned group activities. Also, while you can't ban them from the resort/hotel, you don't have to include them in your Group Rate (if you are getting one!!). That should make it harder for them to come!

 

In the end its YOUR wedding day and it shouldn't be ruined by uninvited guests!!

[flbluiiis]

This is a pretty old thread that has just started up again...

 

Marie - How is your situation going? Any updates?!?

 

I think if I run into this, I will calmly (ha ha hopefully) inform who ever it is that invited the people, that they can come on vacation but will NOT be at the wedding festivities. That is everything wedding related, whether I'm paying for it or not. If I spent my time to organize it then they are not coming to it!

[montegobay09]

OMG Marie I can totallly see this happening. I see you're from Canada...I'm from a small town in Nova Scotia so I totally get how this could happen!

 

I see that this is a fairly old thread and I hope you can update us soon on how everything is going with the non invitees! I would give you the same advice as many others have here on BDW. You are totally justified in being upset/frustrated and I would make sure that unless it benefits you (like getting a free trip which is what we got if we booked enought people) I would not let the "extra" non-guests get in on your group rate! I would have that discussion with my TA right away to make sure only your invited guests get included in that...unless of course it benefits you! That would be the uninvited guests' first clue that they aren't a part of the wedding!

 

I would too get FI to talk to his friends to make sure they understand that the extra people they invited will not be attending your festivities. I would make sure they don't get included in any of it! Welcome dinner, rehersal, nothing! Now, knowing the type of person (they've already agreed to go to a wedding they're not invited to!) they might try to show up anyway, but I wouldn't sweat it. Just make sure they know before going that they're on their own when it comes to your wedding day. There's no way you need to put up with that!

 

Keep us updated!