mom frustrations

Nonnie · April 16, 2009

It seems like every decision I make is being undermined by my mother. In regards to locations specifically. When I find a place I like she spends hours "creative googling" until she finds a bunch of things that might go wrong with that locations or problems with it.

I looked at Saint Maarten, but she is all up in arms about having to transfer through Toronto, and the cost and the fact the hotel is giving me a little bit of the run around about the reception. She gives me these great lists of her concerns and it's ridiculouse, she is being completly paranoid. I have always been easily manipulated by her, and after she dumps all this on me I am a crying wreck on the bed and my poor Fiance is left trying to pick up the pieces.

So I looked at Huatulco Mexico, and she did the same thing, this time there is not much around the resort to do, the Blood tests will infect us with something, My Fiance's family with have to transfer twice etc etc etc.

OMG! I am going to go crazy. If I refuse to listen she goes on saying that if the location is more important then the family we should just elope, but I don't want to, or at least I would rather not, but if that is the only thing that will get her completely off my back the I'll have no choice but that, or a mental institution.

She controls the purse strings since she and my father have offered us a certain amount of money to help pay. If my father was "writing the check" I know I would not be going through this, but she has always dominated him. He has said before he just wants me to get the wedding I want.

I'm worried that the reason my mom is doing this is because she does not want me to get married either to Mark or at all.

Ughhhh

Thanks for reading

Jingles202 · April 16, 2009

I feel your pain. My mom just doesn't really seem that interested.....and it is frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time. I have been bombarding my sister, and bless her heart, she does he best to answer me while she is at work. Chin up....I had to make a vow to myself to try tell my mom as few details as possible. My mom and dad are also contributing to our wedding.

YoursTruly · April 17, 2009

that is a tough one. r u financially able to do your wedding on your own with your FI? I would be direct and put my foot down and let her know that while you appreciate her contribution it is her duty to be supportive of the choices you make with your FI. I would also have your Dad there because he should have a say as well. I think a heart to heart to find out what she is thinking is best before you make any more moves. Good luck with that.

lil_miss_frogg · April 17, 2009

Remember....this is YOUR wedding not hers. I would simply tell her that. You are going to have your wedding where YOU and FI want; not where she wants you to get married. There is a point in ones life you have to learn to put the foot down. This is your time to do it. Take a stand for what you want and make it stick.