No gift from In-Laws

~Stephanie~ · April 2, 2009

Ok so I am will say YES I expect a gift at my bridal shower! LOL. (was that tacky enough?) Do I expect wedding gifts from people paying for a trip, no. But at a bridal shower I would at least expect something small, doesn't have to cost much or at least a card. I am not a greedy person.. well maybe a little... but what would hurt is that it is like they are not even acknowledging it, its a feelings thing, not a material thing. I get it. Should you say something to FI? Well that depends on how you approach it and what kind of relationship he has with his family. You don't want to upset him or cause friction between you two. Maybe you can talk to your own mom and see what she thinks. Even if you talk to FI there isn't much to can do about it without something being said to them and making things more uncomfortable. Good Luck.

Betsy · April 2, 2009

Not even a Card? Seriously, I would expect a card. Talk to your FI about it, see what he thinks....I mean maybe they are planning on giving you something closer to the wedding, but wouldn't that be a "wedding" present?? It would bother me too, but try not to let it get to you too much!!

Mrs. Martin · April 2, 2009

Yes, I would tell your FI because since it's his side of the family, he may have more insight to what your FMIL and FSIL where thinking by not bringing anything. Are they upset over the wedding at all? Did you just invite them or his entire side of the family? My FMIL and FSIL were offended that all their side of the family (aunts, cousins, etc) were not invited to my bridal shower. My aunt hosted one for our side of the family and my friends and we kept it small, so adding all these extra people was just not an option. Although they did bring me a gift each, they made numerous remarks letting me know how they felt about it.

Let us know what you find out if you speak to your FI about it!! Good luck!

mrsrhbtobe · April 2, 2009

I probably wouldn't say anything. Will it really matter in 5 years if they didn't get you a gift? I have learned through my own failed marriage 5 years ago, and now my successful engagement to a man who's a much better match for me, that picking your battles is important. No matter how you feel about your FI's family, they'll always be his family...and soon they'll be yours. You have to love (and forgive) them as such. I'd try to just let it roll off of your back and not let it worry you. As much as we brides want people to be as excited as we are for our weddings, not everyone sees it that way:) What's more important than a gift at a shower, is maintaining peace in your relationship. Good luck:)

YoursTruly · April 3, 2009

u r totally right to feel like this--but i have learned throughout this wedding process and planning that sometimes the expectations u have of people should be lowered. Personally I think in-laws are overrated. My SIL did not even offer a congratulatory card, phone call, nothing. THat would have been letting her off the hook becasue even if it was 10 years from today she still would not even be able to afford a gift--trifling!!!