I feel selfish even venting about this...

[GracieBebe]

...but I'm kinda ticked off that my MOH is 13 weeks pregnant right now and is due on Oct 4 (and she has to have a scheduled C-section the week before her due date because her pregnancy is too close to her previous one where she also had a C-section) when she's known that our wedding is on 9/9/09.

 

I mean, I'm not expecting people to put their lives on hold but she knew well in advance about this trip and has already booked her tickets but now, she's not going to be able to come because she'll be past her 36th week by the time the wedding comes around. She mentioned to me that she and her husband wanted to start trying soon but that they weren't going to start trying until Feb or March so they can time it with the trip. But she also told me they weren't actively preventing the whole situation also. I mean, I wish and hope the best for her and her pregnancy and the baby, and I wouldn't ever say anything to her about it because I am happy for her, but she accepted the position of MOH and I really wanted her to be there! And now, she won't be!!!!!!!!!

 

I guess what I'm upset about is that I just really wished that she had just waited a couple of months and was a little more careful because she obviously wanted to be there for our wedding since she and her husband and 1st baby already bought tickets and now they won't be. I'm just more disappointed than anything else.

[tylersgirl]

Don't worry Gracie. I would be upset too. My friend is putting her baby making on hold just for our wedding. She said that when she gets back they will start trying. I thought that was really sweet of her. I am sorry that happened to you!

[jennierin]

It is totally not selfish to feel the way you are. I can imagine that I would be totally upset if my MOH, the only person in my wedding party, got pregnant "purposely by accident" too. In fact, I call her everyday to make sure that she took her little blue pill! LOL...it's an ongoing joke between the two of us! We make sure that neither one of us will be "with child" during the wedding week! I'm sorry to hear that this has happened and you are so upset about it. Feelings are not selfish...it's the way we react to them that could be.

[boscobel]

I get where you are coming from, I'd be disappointed too. I don't even think it's selfish of you to vent about it here, that's what this forum is about! The only thing I would say is to keep the venting here, cuz people who aren't "brides" right now or recently, would totally think it was selfish. Lucky for you, we all understand!

[~Stephanie~]

I completely understand! My wedding is still over a year away and my brother and his wife are supposed to go. In fact my brother was supposed to walk me down the aisle. They have been married for years and have always told us that they didn't want kids. Now all of the sudden after I announce my wedding they tell me that they are planning to come unless she gets pregnant?! WTF?! They didn't even want kids and now they are going to start trying? I tried to tell them in a "seriously but joking" way that they either need to get it done now before the trip or time it so she can go while pregnant or not have baby till after! Just don't time it during the 3rd trimester! I felt bad, and I would never get upset if I had to alter a dress for baby or have a pregnant BM, but to not go and be able to plan around it. Makes me very upset.

 

So, I understand, sorry you are going though something similar.

[YaelM]

I totally understand! I would feel the EXACT same way if I was in your situation. The reason you feel this way is because you want your best friend to be ther there by your side on a really important day. It sucks - im sorry.

[GracieBebe]

Thanks everyone! You girls are the best!!! I'm glad to know that I'm not being unreasonable in feeling what I feel. Like I mentioned before, I do wish her the best and I'm happy for her, I'm just annoyed about the whole thing. She told me she would fly in for my pre-wedding AHR/sendoff party if she can't make it to the wedding. As of now, she's still trying to find out. I'm just bracing myself b/c I know she won't be able to make it. Oh well...

 

And you're right, people don't seem to understand if they aren't currently a bride-to-be. Even some of my friends who are recently married don't seem to understand. The closest one of my friends came is she said I have a right to be disappointed but not annoyed. What's that supposed to mean? LOL!

[YoursTruly]

I know it is hurtful and you do have every right to feel as you do. I have learned that folsk will do as they please and we will not always understand why. I hope everythign works out for the best.