Upset and Confused...

[**TIFFANY**]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candice Thanks ladies, We are hoping to attend the Grand Sunset Princess or its sister resort Grand Riviera Princess (not many brides on here have been married there or are planning to) Since I most likly might have over the limit of xx amount of people there will be a cost I believe. I don't know if the money is the issue or not b/c my dad has offered to pay for the wedding part. However...FI has no done any work on this wedding at all...he HATES to plan things, so I have been doing everything, talking back and forth with the TA reasearching resorts, ideas for the wedding etc. I have falled in love with a lot of ideas and have invisioned our wedding day. He says that people are coming for a vacation and when in fact some might not have came if we weren't getting married?!? I know 100% his mom would be VERY upset if she didn't get to have a mother son dance! Oh and also they (my mom, dad and FI) we don't need a photographer that people can just take photos and my dads friend he is a really good photographer BUT he is by no means a professional! Ugg...sorry I just think everything is catching up to me...:S Again thanks for everything and I am sure in the long run everything will work out!! Even if I have to work my butt off to make it happen!! P.S. Mexico Beach Bride 2010 I LOVE your mongram!!

I'm getting married at Grand Riviera/Sunset Princess. Included in the wedding packages is dinner in one of the al a carte restaurants for up to 20 people. Above 20 people it's $10 per person so the cost is that that crazy. Now this isn't a private restaurant all to yourself but from what I've heard they have you in your own little section so it doesn't sound too bad. For a lot more money you can do the beach reception but for us we're just going to do it at one of the restaurants and pay the extra $10 per person. The only bad thing in my option is they only have dinner times for this available at 6pm or 9pm. I want to have our ceremony around 4pm so after pictures and everything we're sort of forced to do the 9pm dinner.

My FI has been super crazy about spending money on certain things and the funny part about it is my mom and dad are paying for everything! My parents appreiciate him trying to cut back on expenses but there are just some things you can scrimp on.

If your dad is paying for the reception I say just plan on doing it. Your FI will appreciate and love it once he's there and in the moment!

[~*Kathy*~]

This probably isn't the most helpful answer but that's exactly why DH and I had a DW. We didn't want any of the traditional wedding stuff. But if that's what you have your heart set on then I think you two should definitely work something out. As some of the girls already mentioned in this thread, there are lots of options. Maybe make a list of the places you're most interested in and why and you and FI could go over it and come to decision together. Hopefully your FI will be understanding to the fact that this is a huge moment in most girls' lives and they want it to be personal and special...and that means something different to everyone. I wish you the best of luck!

[big3n09]

I think you should sit down and talk to FI and express to him how you feel and what you really want, it's about both of you. You may have to compromise but there has to be some agreement between the both of you. You have been given some good suggestions here to try to discuss with him. Maybe you guys can do the ceremony and then everybody go out to dinner or hang out. I totally understand how you feel about him not helping, I previously posted to see if other brides were having the same problem as me with their FI's. My FI is not being as helpful as I would like but it's because of financial reasons and I am trying to bear with him. I am planning what I can without him for now since we have a little ways to go. Hopefully things get better for you, best of luck with making your dream wedding coming true!

[Celina]

I think you should sit down with all involved and tell them what you think. You only get married once and when the planning and wedding are over - they're over - no going back. Don't live with regrets. Getting this out now will only save you anguish later.

[BillysBride]

Believe me, I understand.

 

Billy started out the EXACT same way. Everything I would mention, he would say "That defeats the purpose of doing it in Mexico." See, it was HIS idea, HIS dream to do it on the beach in Mexico to begin with. I'd never even thought about such a thing. But here's the thing that helped me with him.

 

I told him that as much as it was HIS desire and his dream to have a beach wedding..it was also MY wedding too. And I asked him if he didn't think I should be able to have my wishes and dreams about it too. That shut him up and down and he hasn't said a word more about it since.

[YoursTruly]

I think its very important that you guys have a meeting of the mond of wht you two actually want and prioritize the reasons for having them. If your dad is helping are you guys contributing at all? Your budget sounds smaller so I like the other girls recommended would look at hotels where the food is included and go from there.....Your opinion counts too and you should definitely have a say so. Best of luck.

[primandpixie]

Maybe he is just getting overwhelmed with the details. Which is probably why he said he wanted to go away to begin with? We can so relate, my sister Jen was married in Maui. At first there was lots of resistance from family and friends. But as the day drew near and people had booked their trips, they got more and more excited. The girls in this forum are right, be honest up front about what your dream is for the big day, and in the end everyone will see it through your eyes. Best of luck and we hope it is all you wish it to be.

[Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez]

I think you could do a small reception. Make it very informal at a restaurant so your FI doesn't feel liek it's too much. I would keep pushing the idea on him. He may eventually give in.

[Destination Scout]

Candice,

My situation was exactly the opposite. This was my second wedding and none of my friends or family were coming so I was very unsure of having a reception. After all, what was the point of making a big fuss if no one was going to be there. What were 20 people going to do? It would be a total bore!

I was very wrong and I'm glad that my husband insisted on the works! I hired a guitar player for cocktails & dinner and then a salsa instructor for an hour after dinner. I'm glad I did that, it did help keep the energy going. It also helped that we had a photo booth, a few bottles of tequila and that his parents started the party by breakdancing. It was a total hoot.

So maybe he's afraid about the energy level. That may give you something to work with.

[itsfinallyhere]

Hi sorry to hear you are so stressed out but I do have an idea for you to consider and also maybe if you like discuss with your FH. You could go away and get married with just a few people. Have a small intimate reception/ special dinner with these people. Then when you get back from your trip plan a bigger reception here at home. I know most people do DW because it is more cost efficient but you should not have to compromise too much on this day. I am sorry ok he is part of the day but really its about YOU. Boys don't grow up dreaming about this day and who it will be or what we be wearing. Whatever you do, try to keep true to your own dreams because if he is not willing to bend over backwards to appease you now, how selfish is he going to be 10, 15, 20 years from now when things are not so warm and fuzzy. I don't want to sound mean I just don't want you to have any regrets later. This is suppose to be one of the best days of your life. I think the only thing to top it is having a baby!

 

the best of luck