BIL newly engaged and getting married FIRST!

[DarcyJAde]

This is the week from HELL!!! Boy, I have really turned into a Debbie Downer. My FI went to visit his family this weekend (my mom just had knee surgery, I have been in excruciating shoulder and arm pain all week)Found out some not so good results on my MRI. But FI takes off anyway for 5 days.....

I knew hos older brother (who is divorced) got engaged over Valentine's day, but they set the wedding for June 28th, 2009!!!! This really bugs me!! It's going to be a small wedding, and I am not even sure I can make it. I have to work that weekend, and only get 1 weekend off every 6 months which I am already using for my HONEYMOON. Don't get me wrong, I really like his brother, but a few weeks ago he was giving us a hard time about the cost of coming to our wedding. He's also the BM!! WTF

[trance_angelx0x]

that is really umm.. special. I feel for you. Definetly a good time to re-visit his committment to your wedding.

[DarcyJAde]

Oh forgot to mention FI already promised to pay for his brother's 2 kids, since it was too costly for him....

[~Nicole~]

Sorry, I'm confused. Are you upset because he has thrown his wedding date in front of yours or that you may not be able to attend and that might fuel his fire of complaints about yours?

[DarcyJAde]

No, I am upset that he was complaining about the cost of coming to our wedding (so FI offered to pay his 2 kids airfare) then got engaged a few weeks later himself. I guess the cost of coming to our wedding is impiging on him having his OWN wedding.

I don't know, I just think it's a little rude to cut in front of your brother's wedding like that.

[~Nicole~]

OOHHHHH!!! Sorry, lol, I guess my caffeine hadn't kicked in yet as I completely overlooked that!

 

I agree, that is pretty rude but try not to get too worked up about it. I mean of course vent to us, that's why we're here but don't let it interfere with the happiness of your own wedding.

 

I've come to the conclusion during my whole DW experience thus far that people will just do what THEY want! We can't control it and they will always have something to complain about...no matter how generous you're being. Try to keep your chin up!

[DanielleNDerek]

Maybe he was complaining about the cost of your wedding knowing he was planning on getting engaged in the next couple of weeks.

 

I'm sure it wont take away from your wedding. Your having a DW which will be a lot different than this.

[ErinB]

I've been in the same exact position. It sucks. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. At least there are a few months between your weddings, my BIL got married 3 WEEKS before us. It did cause some tension and honestly, I'm still pissed. The best thing you can do is focus on having the best wedding for you and your FI.

 

Why do BIL's kids need to come? Are they in the wedding? What would happen if BIL didn't come? Are you still expected to pay for the kids to go?

 

You need to have a real sit down, heart to heart with BIL and find out if he will commit (and this means giving you a check) to being in your wedding. If you can get the business out of the way, you will be able to enjoy both weddings.

[lil_miss_frogg]

Oh what a bummer. I think it is rude. I think him doing this may also put added stress on your guests as I am sure you will have a few of the same people, who may have to travel. I know I would be uber pissed if I was in your situtaion....thankfully non of FI bros/sisters are in a place to get engaged let alone married. His sister....OMG....she has an on again off again guy that she has dated over the years, she propsed to him like a month ago, she had a breakdown, and turned lesbian....AGAIN. She can't make up her mind as to what she wants. I don't know what her deal is....don't go askin a guy to marry you and then do this.....second time she's done this only first time it was with a girl and they had everything planned and paid for...then she decided she wanted to be with a guy.....but all that is besides the point. I think you really need to have a sit down with your FBIL and tell him that if he can pay for a wedding of his own he needs to pay for his own kids to come to yours....IMO. Doing that may cause more stress...but anyway...DO you!

[Sammygurlj]

I agree, very rude. If he can afford to have his own wedding, he can afford to pay for his own kids to come to yours. FI's best friend did the same thing when we were originally planning our wedding, we had talked with him about being in our wedding and a couple weeks later he got engaged and set his wedding just before the date we were planning for. Needless to say he is no longer a close friend because of the inconsiderate behavior.