Need support- possible surgery

[DarcyJAde]

To make a long story short, I have had years of headaches and shoulder pain. Recently an MRI revealed signs of pinched nerves in my shoulder. I am seeing my Doctor on Wednesday, but all the research I have done online is suggesting surgery. I am FREAKING out!!!. I have my wedding in October (13 people already booked.) Not to mention the costliness of all these Dr visits and MRI's.How am I supposed to save for this wedding?

On the other hand, I would LOVE to find the answer to the pain I have been having for many years. I am just scared! I don't think my FI is being very supportive either. He keeps saying "you'll be fine" (he is a Dr too, mind you.) When he says that it makes me feel like he is minimizing the situation, making me feel dramatic. Also, he is on vacation this week, went to see his family in another state while I am stuck here freaking out and in pain.

 

Thanks for listening. Just needed to get that out!

[Hartyt509]

If he's a Dr it'll not be anything to him unfortunately lol Sorry but it's a bloke thing - they are usually insensitive unless its them that are in pain lol

 

I'm sure it will be fine and just think once its done - no more pain! yay!!

[seaprincess]

Before you jump to the theory that your first solution is surgery, stop. Just to give you a bit of background, I work in disability and I look at MRI reports all day long. I am not an MD so please keep that in mind, but I do follow patients through theuire treatment experience and surgery is very often a last, last resort. Have you tried all the non-invasiv options - physio therapy? Massage therapy? Acupunture? Chiro? You would not beleive the relief people experience from these types of interventions. Just because an MRI reveals something does not mean you are the same as those cases on the internet. Before you freak, wait until the MD can interpret the MRI and determine if there are alternatives. If not, and surgery is where you are headed, try to relax b/c most often shoulder surgeries can be done by arthroscopy so it is minimally invasive.

 

Either way it goes, good luck - I'm sure you will be well on your way to recovery by your wedding and you can enjoy a new life pain free!

[DarcyJAde]

Thanks seaprincess. Yes, I have tried accupuncture, physical therapy and some meds. That is why I am thinking I may need surgery. I have tried the conservative treatments and this week has been especially bad. My arm is starting to develop weakness. I am a nurse, so I know about some stuff.(although I deliver babies, proabably how I got into this situation). It would be neck surgery, not shoulder surgery so that is why I am worried. I have a nerve in my neck that is moderately narrowed, along with other issues.

I would be out of work for a few months, less pay (75%). Although it is better than nothing, but I will have hospital bills. My FI is still a resident so I am making most of the money now, and we are paying for our wedding ourselves. Sorry, just a lot of things on my mind.

Thanks for replying. I want to just enjoy the engagement and I can't thinking about this

[*Kerin28*]

Ok- with your FI being a DR--- my FI is a paramedic... they just dont have the compassion to feel bad about your pain... I split my head open and he was like aaah, you'll be fine ( as it was gushing blood!!!) .. they just see it all day so they dont feel for it anymore.

As for your pain I dont really have any advice but keep your head up and do the best you can... if they do suggest surgery do it asap so you can recover and get back to saving for your wedding. Good Luck with everything

[*Kerin28*]

oops - double post

[BachataBride]

Don't do anything drastic just yet until you find out for sure what is going to happen, but have you considered post poning your wedding?? What I'm getting out of this is that your main concern is paying for the wedding, not recovering in time for the wedding. Is this right?? Check with your TA to see if she can keep everyone's deposits & just use them for another date. I think most of your guests will understand under the circumstances. I wish you all the best & we are here if you need a sounding board. Oh...and tell FI to get his ass back home - you need him!!

[DarcyJAde]

Thanks ladies- I was having a ROUGH week. I am feeling better today, I think I worked out too much last week and really did a number on my already bad shoulder. I see the Doctor on Wednesday (fingers crossed). FI is not concerned with the money, seems to think we can manage. He is coming home tomorrow!! Yay!

[YoursTruly]

Firstly, try not to create any more stress on yourself. You will find out the source which will be half the battle. Yes men, really either do not deal well or will be overly emotional. One of those things. I would try expressing this to FI and hopefully he can recognize how u r feeling. I wish you well.

[Mother of Bride]

Try to keep POSITIVE thoughts...I had a car accident 6 months ago & still have some bad days, but have found some real help with a very caring physical therapist. Take care....don't thing the worst.