Adults only reception??

bridetobe959 · March 21, 2009

Is this rude and is there a polite way to put adults only on a wedding invite? My FI and I would like to have only adults 21 and over at our AHR. Our reasoning behind this is that I have 2 cousins that are 18 and 19 and totally out of control. At every family event they get totally wasted and make idiots of themselves and their mother does not see any problem with this. The venue we are having our AHR at is allowing us to supply our own alcohol (we had beg them) but said that if they suspect any under age drinking they will immeadeatly end the event with no refund.Im really worried if the cousins come they will be sneaking alcohol and ruin the event and its just something I dont want to chance. My mom and Grandma have both offered to watch them (they think its rude to have an age limit) but I want them both to have fun not babysit. I considered not inviting them but since Im inviting all my other Aunts I think it would cause more of a problem leaving her out. any advice would be helpful !

lolkitteh · March 21, 2009

These days, I don't think it's generally considered rude to specify an adults only reception. However, that doesn't mean that some guests won't think that it is, so there's at least some risk that it may not go over well.

If you do specifiy an adult reception, just remember that you really shouldn't have any other children at all there, no exceptions.

On the invite, just put the word "adult" in front of reception. Example:

"Adult Reception following the ceremony at xxxx location..."

You would also obviously not address the invitation to "and family" when inviting your aunt and uncle. That by itself should clue them in that your cousins are not invited without having to specify "adult reception", but not everyone pays attention to this addressing rule - if you think your aunt will follow the ettiquette implied by leaving off her kids off the invitation, maybe this is all you need to do, rather than put "adult reception" directly on the invite.

We did not specify an adult reception, but let it be known that this is preferred by word-of-mouth. We also left off "and family" in addressing to be clear that we are only inviting the adult heads of family.