how to ask for help

calchik · February 23, 2009

so tact is not one of my strong suits and i need help with how to phrase this nicely. my MOH has not been helping me at all. i've got less than 3 months til my wedding and if anything i'll need her help more than ever. esp since i have no bridesmaids that can step up

i've had to go AHR dress and tiara shopping with FI cuz she declined me a couple times. our combined stag/ stagette is being planned solely by the best man so far which includes drinking and strippers cuz my MOH hasn't attempted to help plan. i'm hoping she can help me with my hair and makeup in mexico but she keeps being too busy at work (being a lawyer)

suggestions on how to nicely ask her to do her MOH responsibilities and give me more help, support, time towards my wedding? i don't want to be mean about it but i'm a rather blunt person so if i say it my way it will end up sounding mean cuz i'm so frustrated with her lack of effort

Betsy · February 23, 2009

Do you have other bridesmaids? It doesn't sound like she is stepping up to the plate as MOH - I was in a similar situation, and I just called my MOH (who was my lil sis) and asked her if she was going to throw a party or what she was going to do. I was really nice about it, and it turns out she wasn't doing it on purpose, she just didn't realize everything her MOH "job" entailed ! Maybe just call her and point blank ask her, it doesn't have to be a awkward conversation, just tell her your concerns about the Best Man planning it all and I'm sure she will come around - hopefully!

sunsetbride1 · February 24, 2009

I agree with Betsy...

Be very non-confrontational about it. Just call her and tell her that you really need her help. That you are concerned about the Best Man planning a testosterone driven stag/stagette and it would be a great help to you if she can get involved.

If she still doesn't step up, the I would honestly just do it yourself...

NJ_bride · February 24, 2009

Ugh! I had the exact problem. Confronting didn't work, being really nice honest didn't work, asking for help didn't work, nothing worked. I did everything myself. Luckily I had a wonderful bridesmaid who felt horrible and stepped up and did the job of the MOH. Organzed my shower, bachlorette, went shopping for their dresses with me, went to my hair and makeup trials with me, and so on. It honestly feels as if my MOH wasn't even in my wedding, what a waste!

If you don't have anyone else to step up, just do it yourself. Just don't do or have something b/c your MOH drops the ball. You are the bride and deserve more!