Am I just a complete cow?!!

[sarafish81]

Just venting...I don't know if anyone else has dealt with this but my FI and I are getting some mixed reviews from people when they find out we are having a DW and we are just having family and 1 close friend (our MOH and BM) attend. Total of 15 people including us.

My cousin just emailed me last week and asked if it was a DW (he is kind of oblivious to the fact that it's in 2 months!) because "he and his wife would be interested"....ok who does that? Seriously, who invites themselves to someone's wedding? I said, yes, in fact, it is a DW and we are only inviting immediate family. He then says to me, well I hope you didn't think we expected you to pay our way...we just thought it would be nice to have a holiday together!

FYI we are not paying anyone's way!! I think some people just don't understand that although we are going to an AI, the cost of the wedding, reception, etc. is extra and we are paying for that ourselves, and the cost is based on each person for the reception. Not to sound cheap, but we are not wanting to go into debt for our wedding. A huge reason for having a DW was the cost-savings, and the fact that we only want a select few people there. We don't expect gifts from anyone, especially not from those who are not invited. All we want is for people to be happy for us. Why is it that some people are only happy for you when your good news also means something good for them?

Did I mention I'm also PMS-ing?? LOL k thanks...just needed to get that off my chest...

[kate.com]

Don't worry about it. I think it is nice that your cousin wanted to come, but I would just say what you just said (in not so many words.) "Thank you for wanting to be there on our special day. We decided to keep it to immediate family only for many reasons including financial..." or something like that. Be gracious but stand your ground!

[Yari]

I invited over 100 people to my wedding and I still got the same phone call. At first I was annoyed, but then my FI talked me into allowing people who took the time to call me and show interest in our wedding an invite. At the end of the day, I am so happy the "C" list people were there. It was amazing to see all parts of the family together celebrating.

[sarafish81]

LOL I think I do sound like a complete cow! My biggest issue is that my cousin is never one to come to a family function, never one to pick up the phone to say hi, how's it going, etc., or really make an effort and is kind of only available if there's something in it for him. In addition, he owes my mom quite a bit of money which really "irks" me. He's just one of "those" members of the family.

I'm actually quite a nice person LOL

[FutureMrsLewis]

I'd just say something along the lines of "We are just having a private ceremony with our immediate family." And just let him know that he's not getting his nose cut out, it's just that it's only immediate family, and the more people you invite, the more people you will have to pay for at the reception. I have lots of relatives like that, and I wouldn't let any of mine show up either lol

[Cattie]

Maybe its me just feeling plain evil today or I'm just really a bitch! But I'd tell him, how about we take that family holiday after you pay my mother back! Because if you paid her back we might actually afford to have more people!

 

Yeah that might be a little to bitchy huh? Wow I'm getting my PMS a little early!

[sarafish81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cattie Maybe its me just feeling plain evil today or I'm just really a bitch! But I'd tell him, how about we take that family holiday after you pay my mother back! Because if you paid her back we might actually afford to have more people! Yeah that might be a little to bitchy huh? Wow I'm getting my PMS a little early!

LOL truthfully?? That's EXACTLY what I'd love to say...
Thanks for joining me on my pms train!!

[Hartyt509]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cattie Maybe its me just feeling plain evil today or I'm just really a bitch! But I'd tell him, how about we take that family holiday after you pay my mother back! Because if you paid her back we might actually afford to have more people! Yeah that might be a little to bitchy huh? Wow I'm getting my PMS a little early!

You took the words out of my mouth lol

I'd say look you aren't invited end of and btw when are you paying my mother back! lol you won't hear from him in a while lmao

[azhuskergirl]

I love it. I'd have the same reaction if I were in your shoes. If you want a vacation, take one, just don't hijack my wedding doing so.

[misskaytee]

agreed- tell him off! haha