The Exclusion Speech--from your parents

Boston Bride 2009 · April 6, 2009

I had this same conversation at christmas. It wasn't that my mom wasn't on board she that no one else in my family would be able to go (which is the case). I was really upset. Once my FI and I explained that it was what we could afford, we had more time with people, and it was a little more accessible for his family (they live on the island) she was more understanding. She didn't say don't do it she did say you really should consider having a formal event in the US. She offered to pay for the event in the US...so, we are having 2 events to make everyone happy. It has taken me a while to come around to the idea of the event in the US being more formal, but I think it is important to my family and will be fun (this will be a civil ceremony).

Everyone's family dynamic is different. I think if you explain to people why it is important to you and show them how beautiful and affordable it is they may come around.

Good Luck!

rdhbride · April 7, 2009

i also had a bit of a problem with my parents, they were like no ones going to go and to me i don't care. who ever is meant to be there will. the important people will make it. i had to break in down in $ for my dad. average wedding in nyc 50 - 60, 000 and thats low. what do you make in envelopes maybe 20-25 if your luckey. therfore your out 40,000. ok destination wedding, max with everything 15,000 and thats high. no envelopes only out 15,000. its a no brainer:) lol he than saw it my way, lol.

MelaJane · April 8, 2009

My parents are all for it...my mom keeps sending me links to different places, and little emails about why it's better! My problem is my FI. He keeps worrying that people won't be able to afford it, or that there will be problems because we're planning it so far away. I'm taking notes on all these good arguments though.