Trying to keep the guest list to 30......

[TOESNTHESND]

Hi there, so I have a little ordeal. Well my furture mother-in-law, as great as she is, has a hard time telling people no. She is so sweet, but doesn't know how to tell her large family that we are only having our immediate family in Cabo. When we get back, we are having a reception party at a golf course for about 180 people. Any suggestions? On our website, we let everyone know we are having a large reception party in the states, we will see how that blows over.

[A10CalGal]

Hmmm, sounds like you could end up in a battle similar to other brides on this board. Generally speaking, only you nearest & dearest will be willing to travel out of the country for your wedding. That's our plan anyway. So I am only inviting those close to us. Sometimes parents think its just polite to send everyone they know invites - but what if they all come?? Who's paying for your wedding? If you are I think it's easiest to take control of the guest list. Good luck!

[TOESNTHESND]

My thoughts exactly, I think they would all come to the wedding. Most of them are near retirement or are retired so they go on vacations all the time. My FI said he doesn't want his aunts to go just because they want to go on vacation. Thats the good thing about him, he says its our wedding and bottom line is we will invite who we want. Besides we both feel its not fair to my father who is paying for wedding.

[NATASHA]

We had a similar situation and we were able to resolve it very easily. We started by explaining why we chose Cabo. We said that we understood that our parents would love to have a larger group of their friends and family and that we knew that it was VERY hard to invite some but not others, but that we really wanted to spend more time with a smaller group of people who are very close to us. Because of that, we decided to keep the list to 65 people.

 

We gave our parents the option of inviting a few other people (asking that they please understand our desire for an intimate wedding) but explained that the cost per person that they would need to cover would be $500 (the cost of all of the food, beverage, activities, etc. that we are sponsoring).

 

Suddenly, our parents re-thought their cousins (they better understood that once you invite one cousin you have to invite all 3 and $1500 wasn't so attractive). No one added anyone - we're having 65 people at the wedding. No one has complained, they have been very supportive, and when the topic comes up, they say, "well, we know that it's very important to them that they have a small intimate wedding."

[TammyWright]

natasha,

 

i think you said it best. explain it to them in monetary terms.