Family Drama

[JaimeLynne]

 

Oooook, so Martin and I are not even engaged yet. However, his whole family knows that he is planning on asking me. His bro got engaged on Vday of this year and out of pure respect for him and his fiance (so as not to "rain on their parade) Martin told his brother before anyone else what he was planning. His bro said he appreciated him telling him that so everything seemed cool. Then Martin told his mom and I think they went ring shopping together. Everything's still cool, right?

 

But then last night Martin and I went over to his mom's house and she had found out already about our plans to have a DW in Mexico. She kind of gave us a guilt trip telling us that his 80-something grandmother as well as several other members of his family would probably not be going because it's not "traditional" or "right". But overall she seemed somewhat supportive of us doing what we want. (Let me just insert here that I HAVE NOT EVEN BEEN ASKED YET and ppl are already talking about our wedding in front of me! Where's the surprise?!) So it turns out that Martin's bro told his mom about our plans. I guess Martin had let it slip to his bro's fiance on Saturday night and when they were over at his mom's on Sunday they told her and made it seem like we were going to run away to Mexico without anyone and get married. We had specifically told them that we don't plan on having the wedding until Summer of '09 to give everyone time to save. Anyways, Martin's brother went off on Martin telling him how SELFISH we are being by having a DW in Mexico. Martin and I were completely in tears last night. We obviously wanted to tell his family the news in our own way and that has been ruined. I think that his bro and his fiance are jealous of us - we just recently bought a townhome and a new car and now we are getting married too. I can understand their feelings, but he is being EXTREMELY immature about this whole thing and is now trying to sabotage our wedding. He has definitely crossed the line and now there's a big rift in the family dynamics and it just plain stinks!

 

Anyways, I hope that made sense. It's hard to fit in all what happened but I just had to rant. Thanks for reading.

 

[TammyB]

I've had my share of family problems as well. Having a DW is hard, their is always someone who wants to try to ruin it for you. Piss on them, do what you to want to do. And if everyone starts fussing about it, go there alone and elope.

 

But it does really suck that you don't even have a ring on your finger yet and people are already complaining. I'm sorry, that must be hard.

[JaimeLynne]

We don't want to elope though. Mexico is a very special place to us both and we really want to share it with those closest to us. I understand that not everyone will be able to go. I think the idea is just a little harder for Martin's side of the fam to take since they are more traditional. My sister got married in Aspen, CO and my Dad got married in Mexico so my family has had some time to get used to these DW's - We will see though... At this point we're fine if it's just my family ;P

 

I do think his parents will go though, and those are the ppl on his side that we most want to be there. So if that's all that makes it from that side it won't be too bad. I think (*crosses fingers*) a lot of ppl from my side will be there.

[CourtneyV]

That definately sucks. I don't get where family gets off thinking this is their wedding to plan. Would you be incredibly upset if they didn't go all together? I think the people who know this day is important to you will be there (unless $$ is an issue), and for those who want to play crybaby can sit and home and miss an amazing wedding. I can't give you much advice on what to do - but hopefully it helps to just vent!!

[destinationbride07]

when u start planning STAND YOUR GROUND...CUSS ANYONE OUT Who even thinks about controlling YOUR wedding. It will happen with a DW.

[Nrvsbride]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. This is supposed to be an exciting time in your life when you are waiting to be asked. They are already killing all your joyous plans by putting in their two cents. How rude!! I mean seriously you would think that they would let you get the ring before they start bitching!! Don't worry you are going to have an amazing wedding and no one's rude comments should stop you from having it. Almost every single person on this forum has heard the same "selfish" comments from someone in their family. I know it is so hard to do especially when your not even engaged yet but you will have to learn to ignore them. People are always going to say what they want. And if you really feel that you won't be able to ignore their comments, come visit me for a week in New York and after you hear people's rude comments here you will grow 5 layers of thick skin and you will return ready to tell your soon to be in laws where they can shove their comments.

[CourtneyV]

lol Sherri "Cuss anyone out". I like that advice!

[JaimeLynne]

Haha, thanks for the advice - and for the laughs! I needed that

[LEIGH]

Quote:

Originally Posted by destinationbride07 when u start planning STAND YOUR GROUND...CUSS ANYONE OUT Who even thinks about controlling YOUR wedding. It will happen with a DW.

Yeah,I think that this has happened to the best of us! You just have to fight for what you want, and in the end a lot of of your friends and families true colors will be showing! MOFO'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Just hang in there.......and don't forget that this is YOUR special day to share!
Good luck!!!!

[JaimeLynne]

Thanks Leigh!