Moving in with Future Husband

[Nrvsbride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NATASHA Thanks Glenda - I just like helping. That being said - I deal with ENOUGH legal stuff in my own job! Big hug to you for doing it regularly.

Thanks for the hug!

-Glenda

[TATrisha]

Oh moving in together. Today is actually our houses 2nd birthday! Yippee! I should bake a cake!

I must say, it was tough at first. We both commuted to school while living with our parents. He did consulting after school, so lived in a hotel when not with his mom... I just stayed with my parents. So, moving to a house by ourselves with no mommy or maid, was tough! I mean, it wasn't that bad. Neither of us like a dirty house, so we clean... but I think we both missed the motivation from our parents yelling at us to clean up. I think the thing we fight about more is personal space. Sometimes, when you are watching TV, you just don't want someone cuddling with you.

Other than that though, it's been wonderful. I'm SO glad we are living together before we are married. First, just building the house together takes a strong relationship, but then all of the day to day expenses and the cooperation it takes makes you stronger.

I think when you move in with your FI it'll be great!

[Mishi]

I know pretty much everything has been said, but I think the best advice I have ever been given on relationships in general, but also pertaining to living together, is to PICK YOUR BATTLES.

You will never meet someone that does everything exactly the way you want always and that would get pretty boring if they did. So, just remember the reasons you fell in love and don't get so wrapped up in the details of weather he left his socks laying in the floor and you will be fine.

Oh... and one more little secret that I have tested and can attest to... men are ego driven. They want to please, so if you constantly tell them all of the things they do right and build them up, they won't want to let you down and will be much more eager to make you happy. They will even think it is their idea

[soulmates]

Everyone's advice is great. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me.

[destinationbride07]

we have been living together for 5 yrs...at first it was quite an adjustment b/c I am a stingy person and I am not accustom to sharing...he THOUGHT i was his momma and was suppose to clean up behind his ass...but we soon became sharing/clean people....it is an adjustment that you both will have to work on....if you talk about it and compromise it will be great..

[Rachelle E.]

lots of great advice here!

 

But just remember. . .aside from the "work" of living together...It's LOTS of fun too! I love living w/ my husband! You have your own space as a couple to chill, be lazy, goof off...whatever. And don't forget about all the rooms that need to be, uhhhh..."christened?" lol! ;-)

[dragonfly]

We merged our households 7 years ago, my partner really had to adjust to us, me and my three kids. He brought with him a daughter, and now we have one of our own. The messes (lots of them) just blame the kids. Seven people, 2 cats, and a dog, crazy. We have regular date nights, and I try to be patient with him as I am with my kids,( I don't stay mad at my kids for anything, so I try to remember that and not stay mad at him). I also don't conform to the "don't go to bed mad", we usually wake up and we relize how dumb our arguments were, therfore I didn't waste a good nights sleep fighting over something that time, and a good nights sleep, put in perspective.

Its really just an adjustment, and I believe the first year is the hardest, just remember to love each other, offer a cup of tea at the end of a long day, and always kiss each other goodbye, and it will all fall into place.

Kelly~

[Jessica]

Living together has been easy for us. I've lived together with boyfriends in the past. I've never really had any issues that stemed from living together.

 

The biggest living together issue FI and I have though is just general difference in household maintance. I'm a neat freak, he is the messiest person I've ever met and essentially drives me crazy because I always end up doing all the cleaning without any help from him. That is our main argument.

[starchild]

Wow Kelly there are a lot of beings in your home, lol. That's all the more love in your house though so that's cool. My mom always said it's better to have a noisy house than a quiet one. We have date night too, love that!!!

 

We moved in together almost immediately just over 7 years ago. I think we were both so excited to have our own place that we didn't sweat small stuff. To this day if something needs to be done whoever is home does it. When we're home together we do chores together - corny I know but we've never felt like one person carries most of the weight. There is no specific division of labor for us. It's always been like that. We each have habits that annoy each other (he'll get a new glass every hour instead of refilling, I'll leave books and papers everywhere) but nothing that's a dealbreaker, and I've found that people sharing a space - be they friends or lovers - get tired of eachother from time to time. When that happens I read and he plays video games and we're kissing in 2 hours. Have fun with it!!

[soulmates]

Well I moved this past weekend with my FI!!! So far everything has been great, but its only been a week. A week before I moved in with him, we both made a list of things that we knew of already that we think would bother each other, which wasn't a long one!!! But we had a wonderful talk about money, cleaning and personal space. It went very well. I will keep you posted on how it continues to go. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories and support