How much is your wedding costing you?

[LisaJoy]

Anyone need a beautiful certified Maggie Sottero "Montana" gown? I am going to sell it. Size - 8, Color - Pearl

[Sehausle]

Originally Posted by MrsTobeD 

 

Hi Sehausle,

 

Yeah, I saw the insurance paper work and I almost fainted. Do you own a house? if so, are you adding your ring to the house insurance? I heard this is something that you do to protect the ring in case of a fire, theft, etc? 

 

I don't believe it is through our home-owners insurance but my fiance works in insurance so I am sure he was able to do the best thing for us. I do know that there are two types of protection you can buy (at least where we went) and he did he the one that protected against anything - even just simply losing the ring. This was a bit more expensive to do but we felt it was worth it because you just never know. I wasn't super involved in this process, he took care of it so I really do not know much about it but I can ask him if you want to know something specific?

[Peach]

Originally Posted by travelluvr 

 

I agree, I'm totally freaked out reading this post. I'm wondering if I live in a bubble? I totally was thinking I could do the whole thing for 5 grand. I know I can get our all inclusive week (7 days) for about $2200 for both of us. Then pay $1000 for a basic wedding package. Add a dress, small items and a few extras. I'm getting married at home first (justice of the peace) I can't handle the stress of paperwork.

I'm looking at Cuba - the prices are 1/4 of other countries. I realize there is little, if any info on Cuba weddings here, ......but I'm banking on my bubble being real! Pun intended.

 

What I'm curious about...how on EARTH to people afford this? What do people do for jobs? I just don't get it. I don't want any debt. We don't have any family pitching in for costs. Is everyone just OK with paying this off for years and years? If I can't pay for it all upfront I won't do it.

Sigh. Feeling kinda sad now......I thought a Destination Wedding was the cheaper way to go. Perhaps I was wrong...

It is TOTALLY doable.

 

We did our wedding at a luxury five-star resort, and spent two weeks there, which was almost five grand on its own. If we has stayed at a cheaper place, there is NO way we would have spent that much. We would have been under five for sure. As it was, we will be about 10-12 thou, INCLUDING the AHR.

 

Here are the top five recommendations I have for keeping costs down: 

1 - prioritize. We wanted our location, so that is where the biggest moolah went. Then a photographer. That was the second biggest expense. Everything else was just gravy. And if we could not afford it, we did not have it. Simple.

2 - Keep that guest list down. Okay, I know for some people this is not a possibility. But we had some family drama and some resort changes, which meant we only had 14 people (plus photographer and videographer) with us. We were able to spoil them a bit with gifts, but even so we spent way less on everything. This goes for the bridal party too.

3 - DIY. (If you can). If I could make it, I did. I stopped short of making the maid of honour and bridesmaid's dress, but that was about it. That being said, I craft already, so it is not like I had to go buy a bunch of stuff. For example, I wanted a personalized hanger. I saw them on etsy for $20+. I used materials around my house to make my own for free. Even if you do not DIY, be creative. Ask around for ideas on ways to save money.

4 - Discount shop - I did not pay a single thing full price, except the wedding package (but our trip was cheaper, because we booked early and in the off-season.) I rarely bought anything that was less than 40% off; that includes everything from my dress to little crafting supplies.

5 - Long engagement. We were engaged exactly two years. Which means we researched, priced things out, shopped around, collected coupons, compared, watched for deals, had more time to DIY... so definitely worth it.

 

This is all true of our AHR as well as our DW. We factored everything together. Yes, even the engagement ring. He had set himself a specific budget for it; I would have been angry had he gone over it; I did not know about it before, but I would have found the cost eventually; all of our finances are together.

 

For us, FI was finishing school, we just bought a car and need a second one now, he was looking for work, we were moving.... we were trying to pay OFF debts during our engagement, not acquire new ones! So THAT was the priority. We wanted to have a wonderful experience with a few people, but mostly we focused on each other, enjoying everything leading up to it, and loving the beautiful location. And you know what? It was perfect. 

 

So if you only want to spend $5000, only spend that. You can totally do it, and still be left with wonderful memories, a fabulous experience (and yes, I am sure you can even get some awesome pictures too). 

[AnaSteele58]

I paid for my own wedding and I still wonder how other people paid for theirs lol. I am one of the brides who worked three jobs. I know, I am nuts but I have different life circumstances than you- no school and no kids and I am a HS teacher so that means nights and weekends were free. I really only took the second job bc I insisted on having an AHR- now what I am about to say will sound a little foul and I am not at all materialistic- but from a financial standpoint- it was a pretty bad investment. We got back $2,500 in gifts on an AHR where we spent $15,000. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the people who came with us to DR- I didn't expect anything from them- however the people who came to the AHR, while I knew I would not break even, I expected gifts, sure. As one friend put it- your wedding should be your first financial windfall. He spent nothing on his because the brides parents paid and he made $35,000 back in gifts and they bought a house. Surely it was because the "AHR" people considered just a party- but I sent out formal invitations, paid a DJ, paid for decor, and paid a catering hall. What we got back wasn't even enough to cover the cost of the DJ. I had friends I've known for years- been to their weddings and given generously, give absolutely nothing. Luckily I prepared myself in advance for this and I'm not upset, I'm actually just surprised. Why the AHR? Because our DJ who I paid a $1,800 deposit to when we were not having a destination wedding, would not refund our money. It was a lot to lose so I planed the AHR around the DJ, especially when I saw the guest list to our DW dwindle- coupled with the pressure my family put on me to have something for my guests who couldn't attend (btw just putting it out there that all those same family members DID NOT attend the AHR- they went to neither party). I'm not going to say I totally regret it because I had a blast and I got to wear my dress again and share moments from my DW- but our phone with all our honeymoon pics was stolen- yes stolen- and it was simply too much money! If I had it to do again- I would have just stuck with the DW and not had an AHR. Our total on both was $35,000- $20,000 for DW and $15,000 AHR. And we paid for it on our own. We made a separate wedding savings account and mid-month I transferred $1,000 from our checking accounts, at the end of the month, I would wait until all our bills- rent, car, insurance, phones etc, were paid and I would transfer what was left over the day before we got paid again- usually it would be $200-$500 which meant I saved $1,500 a month. My husband and I have the same income and its not a lot but we were super stringent. Then I added the two jobs- I am a HS teacher so twice a week for one hour, I tutored kids and I also did test prep at my school on Saturdays for 3 hours each Saturday over the course of 16 weeks. I bartended 3-4 nights a week. The bartending is what paid for the AHR- so if I hadn't had one, there'd be no need for that job. My husband was against the AHR and I insisted and he said "Our money isn't going to the AHR if you want it so badly pay for it on your own" Challenge accepted. He was upset I took the bartending job- he didn't think I would, but you cannot challenge a Puerto Rican woman.  I say 15k is a reasonable budget- but if we wanted to stay within that, we needed to have it at a different resort. We chose Paradisus and they are more expensive than most resorts and their outside vendor fees are astronomical- so we budgeted $20,000 to accommodate.  It took us a year and a half- we extended the engagement to be able to save- that is another thing to consider if you are at the very beginning and haven't selected a date. But we didn't use our credit cards, we didn't take out a loan, and we didn't borrow from anyone- although a few people volunteered in case we needed it. So for all the tired feet, headaches, and pain- it was worth it because now we can save for our home. And yes- I'm still bartending- because I am a teacher free for the summer and if I took a second and third job to pay for a wedding? I can definitely do it to pay for a house. New goal!

I share your point of view about the AHR. I think its a waste of money. Here is the thing (in my opinion), people call us selfish for having a destination wedding because they have to make sacrifices to attend. In actuality they are selfish because they want to just be able to stop by Family Dollar on the way to the local ceremony to buy you a $5 toaster. They put it on the gift table and gobble down you $100 plate! No way. I was always taught to buy a wedding present close to what the cost of your dinner plate is costing the couple. Of course you have no way of knowing the exact price but you can surely guess based on location. Thanks for sharing!

[pongyang2001]

this thread made me rethink about having an AHR. we are setting up a budget of 17k for the wedding at sandals. expecting about 30guests. if we have extra budget left then we'll do it but i don't think i'm going to factor it in feom the whole wedding budget.

[megssweet1]

Ok here's my breakdown so far:

 

Resort where we are having the ceremony 6 nights: ~$3600

Resort where we are honeymooning 6 nights: ~$5200

Ceremony package : $2999

Attire: $2000

Mom's trip: ~$1500

Photographer for 4 hours of Wedding and 2 location TTD + all rights to images: ~$4k

Airfare: ~$2k

Favors, OOT, Invites, Misc: $2k

Spending cash: ~$2k

 

Total: $25,299

 

S*&%, ladies, I don't see anywhere I can really cut! There are a few things maybe over estimated like airfare and spending cash. But I may have underestimated misc, and possible attire. Also, I don't think my photography package will include any prints, and I haven't factored his wedding band, our gifts to each other, or the cost at the first resort for his son! Good god! I know we can make it work, but I wanted to come out under $20k if only because I said doing a destination wedding would cost less!

 

Also we are not doing an AHR. I think if we would have done a VERY small DW far away, we would have. But we live in Phoenix and are getting married in Cancun. It's a 3 hour flight. So we invited everyone, if they can make it, awesome, if not that is totally fine. (Actually, I hope we come in under 40 total) Which btw, I also didn't factor in. Our ceremony package includes cocktail hour and dinner reception for 20, it's 93.24/pp over 20!

[Sehausle]

Originally Posted by megssweet1 

 

Ok here's my breakdown so far:

 

Resort where we are having the ceremony 6 nights: ~$3600

Resort where we are honeymooning 6 nights: ~$5200

Ceremony package : $2999

Attire: $2000

Mom's trip: ~$1500

Photographer for 4 hours of Wedding and 2 location TTD + all rights to images: ~$4k

Airfare: ~$2k

Favors, OOT, Invites, Misc: $2k

Spending cash: ~$2k

 

Total: $25,299

 

S*&%, ladies, I don't see anywhere I can really cut! There are a few things maybe over estimated like airfare and spending cash. But I may have underestimated misc, and possible attire. Also, I don't think my photography package will include any prints, and I haven't factored his wedding band, our gifts to each other, or the cost at the first resort for his son! Good god! I know we can make it work, but I wanted to come out under $20k if only because I said doing a destination wedding would cost less!

 

Also we are not doing an AHR. I think if we would have done a VERY small DW far away, we would have. But we live in Phoenix and are getting married in Cancune. It's a 3 hour flight. So we invited everyone, if they can make it, awesome, if not that is totally fine. (Actually, I hope we come in under 40 total) Which btw, I also didn't factor in. Our ceremony package includes cocktail hour and dinner reception for 20, it's 93.24/pp over 20!

 

25K is easy to get to, but it's all about sacrifices if you plan to stay under... Resort costs and Airfare are what they are, but OOT bags and Invitations can vary greatly in cost.If you're smart about it (combined with deciding what you're willing to give up) you can get great deals and keep it reasonable.I was able to do our wedding for 10K but that doesn't include our honeymoon costs - since were going to Europe for two weeks I know that will be expensive as well but were putting it off for 6mos due to work.  Photography is a big part of your budget - but that might be more important to you. In the end people is a great way to cut costs - our extra cost per person was a whopping $130 - luckily we only have 2-4 extra people so just keep in mind if you have 20 people coming at roughly 100 a piece that can tack on a lot to your budget.

[MrsTobeD]

OMG, I have only thought about what my budget is and in my head is 13-15, seeing this in written is frightening. Can you get a complementary package from your resort if you have certain number of nights booked?

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by megssweet1 

Ok here's my breakdown so far:

 

Resort where we are having the ceremony 6 nights: ~$3600

Resort where we are honeymooning 6 nights: ~$5200

Ceremony package : $2999

Attire: $2000

Mom's trip: ~$1500

Photographer for 4 hours of Wedding and 2 location TTD + all rights to images: ~$4k

Airfare: ~$2k

Favors, OOT, Invites, Misc: $2k

Spending cash: ~$2k

 

Total: $25,299

 

S*&%, ladies, I don't see anywhere I can really cut! There are a few things maybe over estimated like airfare and spending cash. But I may have underestimated misc, and possible attire. Also, I don't think my photography package will include any prints, and I haven't factored his wedding band, our gifts to each other, or the cost at the first resort for his son! Good god! I know we can make it work, but I wanted to come out under $20k if only because I said doing a destination wedding would cost less!

 

Also we are not doing an AHR. I think if we would have done a VERY small DW far away, we would have. But we live in Phoenix and are getting married in Cancun. It's a 3 hour flight. So we invited everyone, if they can make it, awesome, if not that is totally fine. (Actually, I hope we come in under 40 total) Which btw, I also didn't factor in. Our ceremony package includes cocktail hour and dinner reception for 20, it's 93.24/pp over 20!

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by megssweet1 

 

Ok here's my breakdown so far:

 

Resort where we are having the ceremony 6 nights: ~$3600

Resort where we are honeymooning 6 nights: ~$5200

Ceremony package : $2999

Attire: $2000

Mom's trip: ~$1500

Photographer for 4 hours of Wedding and 2 location TTD + all rights to images: ~$4k

Airfare: ~$2k

Favors, OOT, Invites, Misc: $2k

Spending cash: ~$2k

 

Total: $25,299

 

S*&%, ladies, I don't see anywhere I can really cut! There are a few things maybe over estimated like airfare and spending cash. But I may have underestimated misc, and possible attire. Also, I don't think my photography package will include any prints, and I haven't factored his wedding band, our gifts to each other, or the cost at the first resort for his son! Good god! I know we can make it work, but I wanted to come out under $20k if only because I said doing a destination wedding would cost less!

 

Also we are not doing an AHR. I think if we would have done a VERY small DW far away, we would have. But we live in Phoenix and are getting married in Cancun. It's a 3 hour flight. So we invited everyone, if they can make it, awesome, if not that is totally fine. (Actually, I hope we come in under 40 total) Which btw, I also didn't factor in. Our ceremony package includes cocktail hour and dinner reception for 20, it's 93.24/pp over 20!

I have to be honest- I really wanted to do OOT bags but it was more stuff to lug down, and no one complained about not getting one. Perhaps you can settle on one souvenir that you really love. I see a lot of couples buy tumbler cups with their names on them and while I was at my wedding, I saw a huge wedding party of 100 people and they had the cups. they really come in handy because my resort gave us paper cups when we were in the pool and beach bars and we had to ask them to double stack them. Tumblers are great for everyone to put their drinks in.

[DANIELLE03]

My budget is going to depend on if we have to move our wedding off site or not.  We are trying to keep it around 10k, but If I have to it will be around 12k. We have about 60 ppl coming.

 

My ways to cut costs are to do a lot of DIY . I got my bridesmaids boquets for 35$ total. My dress was 150.00 total with shipping ( I got a replica dress, the original was 1400), Im ordering my deocrations offline including tulle chair ties, center pieces ( again DIY) I was originally going to do OOT packages, HOWEVER I decided I probably won't because A. PPl probably wont even use half the crap I put in there. anything i would put in there they probably have already brought.  In stead they will get a welcome letter and lay out of the week and how things will unfold on wedding day, and If i see something price friendly I may throw it in or a pack of cards or something like that.  The OOT bags are nice, but budget wise its the first to be cut lol. I will however be having gifts for my bridesmaids, so i can put a little more into theirs then I had originally anticipated as well as small gifts for our parents, and my gift for my soon to be husband.  I will have a better idea budget wise once I know whether or not we are going to stay on the resort or go off..