Strippers at Bachelor Party?

[Ayita]

The idea of my guy going to a strip-club does not really bother me. I think this is first, because i really trust him, and second, because I know he's been there hundreds of times - for the reason that his best friend, who was also his best woman in our wedding, is working as a waitress in one of them ! So he often goes to see her and discuss and I know that for him, it's just as random as going to any other bar. He was going way before he met me anyway. He talked to me about it a lot and it's often not pretty what he has to say about it. For sure, he does not want to be compared (even in his own mind) to the regular clients...

 

Also, having seen the other side of it, he knows that all these girls want is the dudes money, so it really helps to put all this in perspective. And I know he likes to watch porn, but this does not change anything (I also don't mind porn, honestly, better this than cheating).

 

Anyway, i also remember a bachelorette party at a club on a Sunday afternoon. The other girls had booked a stripper. The guy came and made the "cop search" number. It was pretty funny. The guy was nice to look at. And then what ? nothing, the party went on. I think we maybe fantasize too much about what a "stripper" is and means. Maybe we've watched too many movies, haha.

[sjmacphe]

Hey guys, thanks for the support. I feel better about the whole situation already, I am really not even going to worry about the details anymore, I know there will be none of him touching them and he wouldn't want to anyway. He says he always feels awkward even going, but I know his friends will pressure him into going anyway. I don't want to be a whiny, controlling fiancee - and I know most of his friends don't even tell their significant others about the details, so, I will drop it - if I act like I don't really care then I think it's better. I will just have to occupy myself with planning my own bachelorette party - I know he's not going to do anything stupid if he values his testes lol.

[aerazo]

guys,

 

im in the same boat, My guy is going to vegas with all his friends and im worried. =( I mean do any of you guys worry about the so called "innocent fun" they may have with strippers or even the females they meet at the bars/clubs? I mean is it okay for your fiancee to touch a stripper, grab her butt or boobs? I mean i feel like we really don't know what goes on and whatever does happen, its not like we would find out (i dont think), the boys keep to themselves. What is accepatable to you guys? do you plan to tell you guy what you don't want him to do. Is it okay for him to dance/grind on another women? I am sure after the strippers they will be heading to a club in vegas and be surrounded by women. I just don't understand why it seems like guys think its okay to do all this stuff with women on the bachelor party and its okay because its their bachelor party. Thats the other thing that worries me is how much "innocent fun" is he going ot have with these random girls? I mean i know people say is his last whooorah..but does that it means its okay for him to be all up on many women? =(

[lil_reeves]

Hey guys, great post, important discussion.

 

Here's a tip....before he leaves on his Bachelor party give him the craziest sex, lap dance, strip tease you can think of (seriously have some fun with it). Trust me this will only make him want to race home to you

 

I totally understand the uncomfortable feelings that happen. You wouldn't be human if they didn't happen but I like what someone posted earlier here (sorry I can't remember who):

 

Act like you don't care, tell him to have a good time, and remind him that on your bachelorette you're going to have just as much fun!!! There may be a lap dance with some guys man parts in your face, LOL, even if that's a bit of lie (personally I think YUCK) - anyhow watch how uncomfortable it makes him. Your guy will understand right then and there why you feel the way you do! Oh and if he acts like he's cool with it just know that he's full of it because no guy is really cool with that, trust me on this one.

 

At the end of the day your man loves you and you love him and you shouldn't worry yourself with things like this.

[lil_reeves]

Oh and FYI not appropriate for him to be touching on another girl...plus most strip clubs have strict policy there. Would he want you touching some guys butt or junk? (again hypothetical and gross, LOL) I don't think so!!!

[krayzeekitty]

Hi Ladies - I am one of the girls that gets a icky feeling when FI goes. He has been only twice in the last 6 years and that was for stags so I cannot complain. It is very strange and I don't even know why it bothers me. I know he is absolutley crazy about me. I have heard horror stories about stags when the stripper is hired to come to a house. There is a lot worse that can and does happen in these scenarios - so if the stag is at a strip club all the better.

[Vikki]

I must be the odd ball but I'm actually going to pay for the strippers for my FI's party....he doesn't know a lot of people here and his two close friends are BROKE so I asked them to help me (secretly) throw him a traditional bachelor party. His friends are going to set up all the details and I'll write the check.

 

I just want him to enjoy something that's all about him before the wedding because most of it is all about me lol.

 

But, I might be crazy.

[boscobel]

I don't think you are crazy, Vikki. I think that every girl is different, and every guy is different and then when you put them together as a couple, we are all completely different! I am not the jealous type, even though I have always had extreme self-confidence issues. So I've never cared about my guy going to a strip club. Shit, I think a female body is way hotter then a male body, so I get it. Not to say I agree with places that allow touching and more, but I get why it's enjoyable to them. I trust my husband to behave, if I didn't, I wouldn't be marrying him.

 

But alot of my friends aren't as calm as I am about it, and I have had friends that ripped their husbands out of strip clubs by their ears. So I really think it's such a personal thing, the way we react to it. It depends on US, and THEM and how we interact together as a couple. So if you aren't comfortable with it, let him know. It's as simple as that.

[karenk77]

I actually dont care either, not about him going to strip clubs or porn. Granted if this were something he did often hell yea i'd flip..but he never goes, except if its a bachelor party, and im always the one the next morning asking to tell me what happened..i guess maybe because i dont make it a big deal hes more willing to share with me what went on. as for porn..who cares? i mean if hes watching porn and not sharing intimate moments with you thats one thing..but if hes watching it or you're watching it together? Doesnt bother me...half the time if i see something on HBO im the one stopping on that channel lol

But if it bothers you then you tell him, dont be afraid..hell you're about to get married you should be able to say anything you want and what makes u both comfortable & uncomfortable and he should respect that.

[sjmacphe]

Aerazo, I don't know about your guy - but I know mine won't be looking to 'grind' with any randoms on his bachelor weekend - for him it's more about the male bonding and possibly gambling, though I know they will for sure go to the strippers at least once and knowing his friends there will be a lap dance. Whatever, I think I'm over it - knowing that I am planning to do the vegas thing too. And honestly, it's not like women can't have their own innocent fun too.