Family Not Supportive of Riviera Maya Wedding

[sdbtrflygrl]

I need some reassurance from everyone today.

 

We have been really excited about our destination wedding and for the most part our friends are really excited too! We are basically done with our planning.

 

Certain members of our family think Mexico is a "terrible idea" and have brought up every possible issue that might come up with a destination wedding. I am convinced that a destination wedding can work...based on this board especially!

 

Did anyone have family who thought their Cancun wedding was a terrible idea? How did you convince them?

 

We did a "plan B" California here at home and it is like two or three times the cost of our Mexico wedding...beyond that...is there anything you can recommend we tell our family to sell them on this idea?

 

I cried for two days and now I am back and ready to deal with everything and try to make everyone understand in our family how important this is to us!

 

Thank you for any input/advice.

[Angel]

Have you asked them why they think it is a "terrible idea"?

All that matters is that you and your FI know what you two want. It's not about making other family members happy. Yes you would like them to come and support you two but you can't make everybody agree.

You have to do what's best for you.

[MissyR]

I think I can honestly say that most of the ladies on this forum went through something similar at some point. For us, we told our families for 3 years before we were even engaged that we would be going away to get married and gave them 1.5 years advance notice of the day and price.

 

For many people this wasn't good enough. Too expensive, no vacation time, what if it rains all week, don't we want to have everyone there? We heard everything. We had relatives tell me to my face that I had clearly decided that having my wedding in Mexico was more important than having all my family there.

 

I cried, changed my mind, cried some more. At the end of the day we decided that this was about FI and I marrying each other - we weren't being unreasonable, unrealistic or "mean" by going away.

 

And guess what? Most of the ppl who bitched and complained in the beginning have booked and paid in full.

[sdbtrflygrl]

Thank you both for your responses.

 

It is nice to hear people have had similar experiences. After our family said what a bad idea it was I kept looking at all the ladies on here thinking, "why are their families so cool and mine are being so ridiculous?"

 

They think it is too expensive for people, my sister and brother can't take time off school, it is mean to ask people to come all that way, what if the old people can't travel, what if people's flights don't make it, what if there is a storm, what if people don't like the resort...one person said, "whatever can go wrong will go wrong." Nice.

 

We just wanted to get away and be able to have everyone that we love be together for one special day...to some that makes us "selfish." For us we don't get to see our loved ones as much as we want to so we thought it would be so fun to be able to relax with them at a wonderful beach...

 

I am hoping the meltdown is over and now I can just speak my mind and try to get our family to understand what we want.

[kate.com]

Somebody wrote on here that it is the people that you least expect to give you greif with the wedding, do. I've found that to be true as well.

So I think you and your FI have already made your decision to have your wedding in Cancun, period. Part of the deal with having a DW is not everyone you envisioned there will come. But, it is not about them it is about the 2 of you.

If it makes you feel any better, we had the same problem in the begining. Totally blew me away! But, people are coming around now. Not everyone, but some. And my FI and I found out we are a really good team! You can be firm and still be nice.

Good luck!

[bumbles]

Perhaps you can get a few of the relatives who are excited about your dw to be your cheerleaders! They can drum up some excitement and the grumpy folks will realize they'll be missing out! We know you have so much to do besides trying to convince people to do something you KNOW they'll ultimately enjoy

[can't wait!]

Just think. 40-50 years down the line. Who will be in your life? Who will not?

As this planning process has gone forward I've noticed one thing. It really is about my FH and I. No one else. My FH will be there 40 years from now. And he is here today. When we first began dating we both agreed we would LOVE destination wedding. My mom freaked. She couldn't believe that her baby girl would be marrying on a beach, away from family. She really wanted to host this massive reception in honor of my FH and I.

But I don't want that. My FH doesn't want that. And I always stood strong and said, sorry. This is about me. I LOVE the idea of marrying on the beach. I LOVE the idea of going away and becoming "one" on a beautiful beach.

 

I know it's hard to let go of some family members who won't be able to be there. But my life with my FH is so important to me. And we both want to start it on the right foot. For us, it's committing to each other on the beach. And that's all that really matters.

 

(so sorry if it's too much. I'm a dreams tulum bride and am stressing like there's no tomorrow. first thing I did when I got home...open up a nice bottle of red)

[latinalocany]

i agree with the girls as well! this is your wedding and its what you want, not what they want!!they need to support you and if they dont then sadly they miss out on one of the most important days of your life!! in my case certain close family members keep maling excuses on booking the trip. i am not going to worry about it!! all thats important is me walking down the aisle on the beach to him!!

[Myen]

I agree with everything the ladies have noted above. You have every right to be selfish (not that you are). Just remember that it is your special day and you and you FI should be able to dictate where you chose to celebrate it.

 

Keep your chin up!

 

[selina]

I think weddings sometimes bring out all the family drama. I don't know why, but they just seem to have that effect on people.

 

The best thing you can do is keep that beautiful smile on your face, be firm with your decisions but don't let anyone take away your power. If you try to please the family you'll be the one who is miserable in the end. It's your day! Honor your relationship by being true to it and doing what represents your relationship best.

 

My experience with DWs is that all the whiners and b!tchers are the ones that have the best time when they finally cave and go to the wedding. Then they apologize for being so horrible.

 

Keep rockin' with your plans sister!