Drinking style horoscope...

MelissaH · March 16, 2007

I found this on another site and it made me laugh pretty hard....I think because it's true (for me at least )

ARIES (Mar 21- Apr 19)

Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes

don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them

prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and

they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people

drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other

methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will

assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by

sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as

you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night,

you sneaky Gemini

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)

Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming

for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated

Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop

inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells jokes to

employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to

body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is

not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A

squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some

would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when

intoxicated.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 21)

Drinking style: Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior

much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that

it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with

finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely

advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's

possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly,

which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order

different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may

create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and

limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER (Jun 22 - Jul 22)

Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with

dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it,

Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must

guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret

parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true

Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get

"tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's

nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of

inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite

Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be

adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)=20

Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often

fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing

their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're

quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They

generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing

self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue --

and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type

to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder,

Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you

the next day

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are

compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest

for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it

could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine

or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh,

when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an

unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped.

It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to

declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence

tonight." A toast to the subgenius

LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 23)

Drinking style: "I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just

that I'm so damn social." Libra loves nothing more than to party,

mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra

(with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra

side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really

work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in

self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --

including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening,

flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's

events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 21)

Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for

they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till

they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to

drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see

the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a

personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps

seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking

pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also

remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed.

Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

Drinking style: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze

blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of

their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink

with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect

from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna

Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room,

then

persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub,

or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hi-jinks are sure to ensue

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)=20

Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical,

steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left

off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David

Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true

rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too

eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you

to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on

or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to

loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up

with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 1 Drinking style: Aquarius and

drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They

have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea

while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If

they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too

preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly

charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital

drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can

get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated

by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with

soused strangers while sober

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard

that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor,

LizaMinelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves

in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they

build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like

that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners,

whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can

start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together

for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways you

know.

~Melissa~ · March 16, 2007

Yep I am guilty of being a know it all especially when i have a couple of pops "They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea

while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. "

starchild · March 16, 2007

"Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe."

LMAO - SCARY BUT TRUE!!

TammyB · March 16, 2007

OMG That is totally me..