Surprise wedding?

[janellepo]

Okay, so I was having a thought that I needed some thoughts about.

We are getting married in Mexico November 19th, and we have decided to have a pre-wedding reception November 8th in our hometown because we didn't want to have it during the holiday season, and we both work out of town in a remote area. Anyway, we are having a few difficulties getting ALL of the paperwork together that the resort is requesting (I have to be in a major city in Canada to get it done and I won't be there again until October). My concern is what if we can't get the papers we need? Especially since we have already tried a couple of times.

Our plan B has always been to get married before we leave and not let anyone know that we are already 'officially married'.

I was just thinking about this today and I thought, what if we had a justice of the peace at our pre-wedding reception on November 8th and do the legal ceremony in front of our 130 guests as a surprise?! And still have the symbolic ceremony in Mexico?

I think this would be a huge SHOCK, and a ton of fun, BUT how are the people coming to the DW (and paying for it), going to feel? Do you think they will feel ripped off? If we decide to do the surprise, would you tell them before, just to soften the blow? Or should we leave it alone and just get married in a private ceremony?

ANY thoughts on this would be great.

[shellb]

I would test the water with your family and closest friends first to see the reaction. Explain the situation. I know doing that would not go over with my family, the water has been tested and they've actually said if we get married here by a JOP why would they have to come south to see us do it again. They are adamantly against it.

 

A lot of couples do a small civil ceremony with a few people attending to avoid the hoops we have to jump through in our DW countries to meet marriage requirements or the long wait for the marriage certificate. They then do a symbolic ceremony with all the bells and whistles down in the DW location. Some even keep it even more low key, by doing it secretly without any DW quests knowing with the JOP and 2 witnesses, for legal purposes and the bare minimum of vows and no ring exchange.

 

How does you FI feel about it? Wish you the best, it will all come together.

[kevsgirl]

It sounds like such a fun idea, but I know that it would not work with anyone who's booked for us either Even though we only have about 8 people so far and all of the others would be so happy to participate, the feeling would be that it's unfair that the people not going get the 'real' and 'first' wedding.

[rodent]

all of our guests in mexico knew we were legally married. i don't think anyone cared. if they did they covered it well. i told some people & then my brother announced it on the van ride back from coba. thanks bro

[Hartyt509]

If you are going to do it I wouldn't tell anyone. People can be funny in the wrong way!

 

I would love go get married here before we go it would save a fortune but no way will FI do it!! My lot wouldn't care but it would just give FMIL something else to bitch about and something more for me to hate her for lol

[janellepo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shellb I would test the water with your family and closest friends first to see the reaction. Explain the situation. I know doing that would not go over with my family, the water has been tested and they've actually said if we get married here by a JOP why would they have to come south to see us do it again. They are adamantly against it. A lot of couples do a small civil ceremony with a few people attending to avoid the hoops we have to jump through in our DW countries to meet marriage requirements or the long wait for the marriage certificate. They then do a symbolic ceremony with all the bells and whistles down in the DW location. Some even keep it even more low key, by doing it secretly without any DW quests knowing with the JOP and 2 witnesses, for legal purposes and the bare minimum of vows and no ring exchange. How does you FI feel about it? Wish you the best, it will all come together.

That is a really good idea about the limited vows and no ring exchange. Now that I think about it, all of the DW guests would probably be a little P-O'd ( I know that I would be). Also, my future husband has said that maybe it would be a good idea to get legally married when we get back? Either way, it would have to be secret...so for now, I guess I will just keep my fingers crossed that I will be able to get all of the paperwork finished, and to the standards that are required. Thanks for the help ladies!

[Julia]

My FI and I are doing a JOP right before Mexico next year. Everyone already knows, and they understand it made more sense to us rather than the 4 days/blood test in mexico/legalities, etc. But, it will only be the two of us, our parents and grandparents. Maybe that's why no one seems to mind. Also, everyone is blessed/cursed with different families!