AHR agrument continues...

[heather007]

The agrument that has been going on for almost 4 months now is still continuing. My fiance does not want an AHR and I do. I will admit that prior to our Save The Dates going out, I didn't want one. However, now that it's getting closer to the actual wedding date, more people are phoning us and asking when our AHR is. When I tell them we aren't planning on having one, they are very shocked.

 

This is totally stressing me out. I wanted to have a final dicission by Friday, because we are going camping to the middle of nowhere [the family cabin] and I won't be anywhere near an internet connection or phone line. I planned on having all my invitations printed and assembling them up there. I really wanted to incorporate the AHR invites into my formal invites.

 

Whenever I bring it up with my fiance, he just ignores it and says that we will talk about it later. He claims that he thinks he won't be here because of his job, which has some truth in it, but I just don't understand why he can't talk to his boss and find out when he will be here and not. Whenever I bring that up, he flips out and walks away.

 

I guess I need to just vent. Any suggestions would help.

 

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[adias.angel]

You could always try this on him: Ok maybe not...

 

Does he realize that the decision needs to be made before you make your invites this weekend? Did you ask him what his reasons for not wanting one was? Not knowing when he will be here can't be his whole reason.

 

Cost was a big factor for us and I showed my FI by having a cocktail type party it wouldn't cost much at all and would make everyone in the family feel included.

[DanielleNDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heather007 The agrument that has been going on for almost 4 months now is still continuing. My fiance does not want an AHR and I do. I will admit that prior to our Save The Dates going out, I didn't want one. However, now that it's getting closer to the actual wedding date, more people are phoning us and asking when our AHR is. When I tell them we aren't planning on having one, they are very shocked.

Do you want an AHR just to appease everyone or do you yourself really want to have one?

[heather007]

No, when we first started the DW talks I didn't, but once I got into more of the planning I started to want one. People asking for one was just more evidence [for me atleast] that it was the right move.

 

I don't know what his deal is. Money is not really a factor when it comes to this because we already have more then enough money saved. It's almost like he can't make any final decision when it comes to the wedding. I don't know if it is just stress or what, but it's stressing me out like crazy.

 

I feel guilty for even complaining about it on here.

 

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[Jacqueline]

I'd say that if you truley want one, go for it. Compromise and have a smaller one if possible. What is he reasoning for not wanting one

[Hartyt509]

It was the opposite way for us - FI wanted one and I didn't - I got my own way lol

 

For us it was the fact that our families are from different areas and I didn't see why my lot should travel to where he is from to be with his scummy family lol I eventually said have one but I won't be there and i'm not paying for it lol

 

He saw the light after his step-dad's wake which was a circus.

 

You need to say right these are the reasons I want one what are the reasons you don't and try and take it from there. Say I want to compromise but I need to know why you don't want one he might have a valid reason

[adias.angel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heather007 I feel guilty for even complaining about it on here.

Don't feel guilty. That is what everyone on here is for, to support each other.

I would say go ahead and send out your invites. If you do decide to have one send out a post card after the fact letting people know.