What have I learned from planning a destination wedding?

[orionandmari072510]

i totally agree on this 100%

[orionandmari072510]

i totally agree on this 100%

 

Originally Posted by shellb 

What have I learned from planning a destination wedding?

I was reading a thread (http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t27511) and thinking it sounded so familiar. Why don't we start a thread of all our lessons learned from planning our DW's? I guess I'll start...

• The people you love the most, will be among those who hurt your feelings the most as you plan the "Big Day". It's those you least expect that will surprise you with their thoughtfulness and helpfulness.

[orionandmari072510]

1. I totally agree with everyone here about who had loved ones and close friends being the most likely to hurt you. Some of my quiet friends turned out to be a dedicated help and unconditional support to me. While best friends I had helped numerous times and spent lots of $$ on turned out to be a RIOT. Its funny how they didn't do a fraction of what I had done for them in their weddings and the money i spent, but were the FIRST to talk trash and turn people against me during the MOST IMPORTANT AND JOYOUS DAY of my LIFE! I learned real quick about the TRUTH!

 

2. Family reunions=Destination Wedding is RIGHT! My husband's family took our wedding as a vacation time and tried to delineate the focus of the trip on our wedding. They would do whatever they wanted and enjoyed themselves, but when my husband and I wanted alone time on the beach or time just to enjoy ourselves, they were always complaining about that and detracting us from our romantic getaway. I learned that only some trips are "family-worthy" and it may have been more wise to arrive several days in advance of them coming to avoid this conflict.

 

3. Spend the extra cash and get a photographer for each event....Wish we had done this. Our families only took photos of themselves or their side of the family. Thank GOODNESS i told my husband we were getting a photographer and not relying on family photos for the wedding. Then it would have been broken photos of either just me or my husband. When we asked for copies of photos from our families, this is EXACTLY what we got. There were only a few of us together, what a great sign of what they really thought, eh?????

 

4. THERE IS ALWAYS A THUNDER STEALER or DRAMA QUEEN! In this case, it was our sister in law who wanted to get engaged at our wedding reception dinner. I had advised her mom and the fiancee that they should do it at the rehearsal dinner since that was less important to us, but she was headstrong. It wasn't until my sister told her to either deal with it or leave to go home that she actually decided to get engaged in a private location at the resort way after the wedding. Thank goodness for sisters! Also who plans engagement parties during another person's wedding events???

 

5. Last minute people will book. This was definitely stressful. We had our numbers and then someone booked last minute. It boosted us to get a free reception, but again the hassle of providing them all the information and accommodating them last minute was not neccessary.

 

I am so glad we were focused on LOVE and our wedding that day! There were moments before the wedding day that I wanted to lose it.

Thats when you realize its all about LOVE LOVE LOVE and being happy with your soon to be spouse!

[MRR16]

These are great points. Thanks to everyone that contributed.

I will keep them all in mind.

[orionandmari072510]

lol, a couple more things:

 

1. I spent more money on making invitations. If i had ordered them from the original source we wanted to it would have been cheaper. Our printer also broke and we had to buy a new one. So sometimes making things at home is more expensive than just buying it already done.

 

2. a good photographer is EXTREMELY important!!! We were thrilled with ours and it is VERY DIFFERENT than having an uncle take photos for the ceremony.

 

3. I learned practicality is always better. People expected us to get a huge cake and encouraged it. We rationalized that a 3 tier cake will not be eaten by 12 persons. Heck, the 1 tier cake we got was not eaten by the 12 persons. We had lots of cake left. Best to be reasonable and not spend the extra cash.

 

4. If you have bridesmaids that are about to get married themselves, keep them out of the planning. One bridesmaid of mine was set on her wedding being the "wedding of the century". She began to give me some unwanted advice and I began to wonder on it too. She told me once upon a time that she thought lilies were ugly, and when i began flower searching for my wedding deco and bouqet, guess what flower she suggested to use, the flower she believed to be so ugly: the lily. I realized what she was trying to do and once i figured it out I kicked her out of the planning. What is worst is I was 100% supportful for her wedding and put $700 worth right before my wedding since her wedding was 2 mos after mine. I began to distant myself from her after that mess

 

5. Documenting memories and journal-style guestbooks are excellent ideas. We had everyone write notes about the wedding and their experience. It was a great idea! It helped us to remember things that happened as well!

 

6. Choosing a DW resort that has all one location wedding amneties/ facilities is very relieving! And makes it so much easier to plan around. I got my hair done, confirmed my photographer's arrival, and made it to my room for makeup within 10 minutes. Convenience is KEY!

 

7. When the stress starts to creep up, go to the nearest bar and grab a pina colada, EXCELLENT IDEA!!

 

7.

Originally Posted by orionandmari072510 

1. I totally agree with everyone here about who had loved ones and close friends being the most likely to hurt you. Some of my quiet friends turned out to be a dedicated help and unconditional support to me. While best friends I had helped numerous times and spent lots of $$ on turned out to be a RIOT. Its funny how they didn't do a fraction of what I had done for them in their weddings and the money i spent, but were the FIRST to talk trash and turn people against me during the MOST IMPORTANT AND JOYOUS DAY of my LIFE! I learned real quick about the TRUTH!

 

2. Family reunions=Destination Wedding is RIGHT! My husband's family took our wedding as a vacation time and tried to delineate the focus of the trip on our wedding. They would do whatever they wanted and enjoyed themselves, but when my husband and I wanted alone time on the beach or time just to enjoy ourselves, they were always complaining about that and detracting us from our romantic getaway. I learned that only some trips are "family-worthy" and it may have been more wise to arrive several days in advance of them coming to avoid this conflict.

 

3. Spend the extra cash and get a photographer for each event....Wish we had done this. Our families only took photos of themselves or their side of the family. Thank GOODNESS i told my husband we were getting a photographer and not relying on family photos for the wedding. Then it would have been broken photos of either just me or my husband. When we asked for copies of photos from our families, this is EXACTLY what we got. There were only a few of us together, what a great sign of what they really thought, eh?????

 

4. THERE IS ALWAYS A THUNDER STEALER or DRAMA QUEEN! In this case, it was our sister in law who wanted to get engaged at our wedding reception dinner. I had advised her mom and the fiancee that they should do it at the rehearsal dinner since that was less important to us, but she was headstrong. It wasn't until my sister told her to either deal with it or leave to go home that she actually decided to get engaged in a private location at the resort way after the wedding. Thank goodness for sisters! Also who plans engagement parties during another person's wedding events???

 

5. Last minute people will book. This was definitely stressful. We had our numbers and then someone booked last minute. It boosted us to get a free reception, but again the hassle of providing them all the information and accommodating them last minute was not neccessary.

 

I am so glad we were focused on LOVE and our wedding that day! There were moments before the wedding day that I wanted to lose it.

Thats when you realize its all about LOVE LOVE LOVE and being happy with your soon to be spouse!

[johnnmakenzie11]

I love this thread! it is so comfoting to know that the things that are stressing me out are things we all share! The biggestest things I have learned so far is who my true friends are and that people lie!

[shan0487]

this thread is amazing!!! This will be very helpful when I start planning my big day! Keep them coming ladies!

[Line M]

ver helpful

[Line M]

i meant very. can't type

[redginger]

As a newbie, I found this thread so helpful and supportive. Hope to hear more from other recently married brides. Thank you!