little by little, no one is coming ... i give up!

[Preciousmi811]

Thanks for the bump I have been getting so discouraged. All the essential people I picked a resort around has backed out and I feel a stab every time I get another no. It gets so frustrating luckily some unexpected people are coming so that made happy. Its tough though.

[cougs]

kinda surreal to see this resurface again, since i'm the original poster ... and our wedding ended up just fine, with 31 guests! there is a ton of good advice in this thread tho, the most important being to STOP STRESSING and BELIEVE that however things turn out, that's the way it was *meant* to be. even if that means it's just the two of you.

 

in the end, last may (even during the height of swine flu madness), pretty much everyone came, including all the naysayers, the wishy-washy, the drama-causers, the crying poor, and the hypochondriacs! ahhh they are all lucky i love them (or that i have no choice but to love them bc they are family, haha)! they drove me to drink, but that just helped us get our money's worth out of the AI!

 

since the wedding, there have been many developments in both our families: a diagnosis of terminal illness, pregnancies and babies, heart attacks, hospitalizations, etc. ... all which would have been *real* reasons for not attending our wedding. these sort of things help put things into perspective and remind us what's really important. we feel so blessed to have had our loved ones with us and truly believe fate was on our side.

 

honestly, in hindsight, i feel pretty silly for all my bitchin and moanin, lol.

[bikegirl]

cougs, that's for the follow-up post. it really helps those of us who are planning our weddings to know, in the end, it's really going to be okay! i'm glad things worked out for you!

[~Crista-Lee~]

I completely agree, thank you Cougs for the follow up. I have to remind myself of this over and over again and try my hardest not to panic about everyone booking. I just hope they don't wait until the last minute...

[Missjacks]

Im so glad Cougs created this thread because it makes me feel so much better that someone else is or did go through this.

 

I agree with Islandbride. FI and I pretty much already knew who were the ones that were pretty much not going to attend when we even decided to have a DW. But we invited them either way just to look polite and for them to not come back at us stating we never invited them.

 

Its your day, your money, and your happiness. When ever I hear a complaint I always think to myself, would I be just as happy to have the wedding the way everyone else wants it. And I always think... no, this is what FI and I want and we're stickin to it.

 

Then I always tell them they're still invited when we renew our vows next year in the backyard.

[NicoRuskies]

I haven't read everyone the other replies, so this may be repeating some stuff. I can understand how you feel because this also happened to me! I would say, the wedding is about you and your man and it will be AMAZING no matter what. You and the groom will be lost in each other that day. Maybe you can have a big at home reception to include those who aren't able to come?? (that is what we are doing, very casual BBQ). My fiance's brother has decided to back out and that was his best man. It's funny cause I was more upset than he was...he talked me into the 'it's all about you and me babe, not him'. So now there is an uneven number of attendants...but shit happens. I'm sure you will have a great time and the family and friends who decide not to come will regret it after seeing how much fun you have in your pictures throughout the week and on the wedding day. You picked a BEAUTIFUL resort! Good luck with it and try to keep your head up. Oh ya, about the ring bearer thing...it would be neat to pass on that responsibility to someone special who is coming and not participating in the ceremony....like an uncle, dad, grandpa.

[AishaB]

I don't have this issue as yet. But I did have an issue with deciding where to have my wedding, and the ladies on her set me straight. It is your wedding, and your FI's. So do what is right for the both of you. What makes you guys happy. And I guess in the end, who ever makes it, those are the few or the lot who appreciate and cherish your moment the most. Good luck and continue to look forward to YOUR day.

[cathyandchin]

I'm starting to think FI's parents aren't coming! They keep lollygagging with passports, airline, deposits, etc... And what worries me is that they're supposedly giving us $5K for wedding costs to match my parents'!!!

[mindylcarter]

I know you must be so aggravated that you put all this time and research in to choosing the best resort for everyone, and now it seems for naught. If I were in your shoes, I would just get married the day before you go, have the symbolic ceremony so that you get to enjoy all your planning, even if it is just for yourself and a few other people, and enjoy your honeymoon! Don't let everyone ruin your special day! The two most important people will be there - you and your fiance!

[cougs]

thanks girls, please see the update in post #52